C'mon in and have a chuckle at my expense! Everybody, now...

  1. So, I'm at work and my baby's working overtime to breathe. I begin to get concerned, and so does the RT, who is shocked that there are no neb Tx's ordered despite the baby being recently extubated and unstable. He pages the doctors in the call room. Ten minutes go by and still no answer. I say, "I'll call them again..." and dial the number. A female doctor answers the phone and says, "Hello?" and it is obvious that this person is in the grip of sleep, because they sound like they've been smoking pot all night. I say, "Hi, this is so-and-so from such-and-such unit calling about Baby Yadayada...Baby Yadayada was extubated this a.m. and since then has been steadily going down the crapper. Her sats are good, but she's wheezing like a dying dog, flaring her nostrils wildly (!), exhibiting moderate retractions, and obviously using accessory muscles to breathe. Since there is nothing ordered, the RT and I were wondering if you could consider a neb Tx, or another more appropriate intervention?" She mumbles into the phone, "No, no." I say, "What?" because I am a little shocked that she won't give ANYTHING, not even a PRN order. She repeats, "NO, no, don't give the baby anything." I say, "Are you sure you don't want a neb Tx?" and she says, "Yes, I'm sure. Thank you." I am surprised here, and my jaw is open wide. I say, "And who am I speaking to?" because you bet your ass that when this baby crumps I'm pointing my finger at this bee-yotch. She says (not real name), "Mandalaya." I say, "Is that your last name?" and she says, "No, my last name is Phillips." I hang up and immediately go to someone else. "Do you know Dr. Philips? No? She's an idiot! I just wanted to reach through the phone and choke her." and no one knows who she is. (We just got a new batch of MD's/Students in for March 1st.). So this other nurse comes up to me and says, I have to speak to a doctor, but the call room isn't picking up. I say, "But I was just on the phone with someone..." and she starts to redial the number to page them. She mutters, "...7-4557 (not real number) and I say, "No, that's not the number. The call room number is...7-4755."

    Except it's not.

    I called a patient's room. I even called her Dr. Philips, which must have been a shock to her. ;>)
    Last edit by NICU_Nurse on Mar 5, '03
  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   delirium

  4. by   ERNurse752
  5. by   kaycee
    You got it, chuckling now.
  6. by   Mimi Wheeze
    Oh no! That is too funny!
  7. by   Lausana
    oh Kristi *sigh*
  8. by   NICU_Nurse
    Can't decide if this beats the other time I did a foot-in-mouth: We had a new set of parents at the bedside, and I'm ALL about getting them involved in care from the get-go- diapers, skin care, mouth care, bathing, whatever the baby can tolerate. So I get all my stuff ready, and grab a bottle of warm water, and turn to the father...and in front of about ten parents and four nurses I say quite loudly...

    "Would *you* like a bath tonight?"

    Though what I MEANT to say was, "Would *you* like to bathe her tonight?"

    My face could not have been more flushed as I tried to explain my way out of that one. The mom actually thought I was flirting with her husband. Lawdy.

    Between the 'prank' calls to patients and 'lewd' comments to parents and having bodily items hidden in my food, I fear I'm garnering a bit of a reputation at work...
  9. by   dingofred
    Ha, is too funny.
  10. by   Stargazer
    Originally posted by Kristi2377
    ...and in front of about ten parents and four nurses I say quite loudly...

    "Would *you* like a bath tonight?"
  11. by   ShandyLynnRN
    LOLOL!!! That made my day!!!

    Just wondering though.... why didn't the girl you called TELL you she wasn't a doc??? I mean she gave you an order for pete's sake! LOL... I wonder if she woke up thinking whatever meds she was on was making her have strange dreams, lol....

    The only foot in mouth thing I've said (that I can recall) is (more than once) talking to a doc on the phone for orders or whatever, and then at the end of the conversation saying "love you".... purely habit I tell ya, lol... the doc got a good laugh though.
  12. by   delirium

    But isn't that why you became a nurse? To fall in love with a hunky doc?
  13. by   karenG
    I am SO glad its not just me who says things like that!!! I asked a man who'd come for a flu jab- ' what can i do for you?'. he looked me up and down and replied........depends whats on offer!

    oh oh I am way to old and been in this job too long to make remarks like that!!