Child abductions...has it changed your behavior?

  1. I saw an interesting article in the paper today, where people were talking about how papranoid all the abductions have made them aboout their own kids. I know I went out and finally got my dtr and son a cell phone, not b/c they wanted one to be cool like they think, but for my own peace of mind.

    A grandma was talking about how when people come up to admire her grandchild, she immediately becomes suspicious. I have noticed this too, and I have been deliberately keeping my distance if I want to admire a cutie pie in the grocery store. I only feel comfortable approcahing them if my dtr is with me. (but gosh darn it, babies are so cute I love to goo-goo at them and see their little toothless smiles!)

    I remember a time about 12 years ago, I was in the mall, a toddler and my baby dtr, she was in the snuggly, and I was holding my sons hand, we had a problem with the escalator, I thought David could get on it with me, but he couldn't, I cried out in alram, no one responded except one lady who elbowed her way up to David and screamed out to other people, "Somebody help this poor woman, can't you see she needs help?!!!!" She got David and kept him safe for me until we all got to the top. I was soooo grateful for her help, she was a beautiful person to help a stupid woman taking a shortcut.

    Another time, my husband was supposed to be watching my dtr, who was 19 months, and she wandered away from him. I was FRANTIC. I ran outside, my neighbor was mowing the lawn and said "I saw her go that way..." towards the creek!!!! And you let a baby toddle down there ...why????? IDIOT! I thought about this afterwards, I spotted her immediately and brought her home safely. But, I think he was afraid to approach her b/c people may wonder why a black man was picking up a little white girl. Not sure if this is the case, but I also can see his point, BUT he could've come and told me for crying out loud!!!

    So, all of this has me wondering, have you changed the way you respond to small children, or if you have small children, has it affected the way you respond to people admiring your children??
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   kelligrl
    Wow, good question. I don't guess I feel weird when people admire my kids (two girls, 7 & 3 1/2). It never really occurred to me to think badly of someone who gave them a compliment. Naive?? Maybe. The recent happenings did, however, force me to re-evaluate how much information I had given them regarding strangers. We went over again how it was never OK to talk to strangers, approach their car, etc. Want an eye opener? Have your kid draw you a picture of what they think a stranger looks like. No coaching on your part (like "draw a bad guy") only say "draw me a picture of what a stranger looks like". For me, I found a picture of a monster type guy, mean and yucky looking. Holy cow!! Huge need to explain that a stranger can look nice and kind, like a grandma or a grandpa or a friend. THAT scared the heck out of me.
  4. by   Love-A-Nurse
    kelli, what an excellent idea! i will ask my two children to draw this for me today.
  5. by   researchrabbit
    Not really to the point, but one of the images that stays with me from the bombing here in OKC is the men from the homeless shelter sitting on the curb and holding the little kids from the YMCA daycare until their parents could come, dust and blood all over, sobbing kids lovingly cradled against guys most of us would cross the street to avoid.

    You just never know who is safe. Most people want to do the right thing, and there's no good way to know who's a monster and who isn't.

    I think that crimes against children have always been perpetrated. I think we see more media stories now, which produces more fear in parents and may goad those who have those thoughts to act on them.
  6. by   Love-A-Nurse
    hoolahan, i was cautious when my children were little(they were with me more) but i am more fearful because two are teenagers and one is a young adult (they are with me less.. school activities, etc., especially my young adult child).

    those who hurt others are doing it to all ages and with no respect of persons depending on what their intent is when they set out to harm.

    i talk to them and let them read articles and see television reports about what is going on in this world. to be honest, they are more up-dated as or more than i am. great topic!
  7. by   Robin61970
    This really hit home for me last week end when we went to get my children from my mom. On the way back home we were in a truckstop getting gas and pit stop stuff and my daughter ran down and around the aisle. I ran after her, but before I got there a man was talking to her...telling her she was a pretty little thing and my heart leapt. I got both my children and headed for the truck. This could've been a nice man who had a daughter like her and missed her so that is why he responded that way or he could have been wondering where her mom was.....OR he could've been a horrible man....I sure didn't wait to find out so I would say this has affected me greatly.......
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    It made me more protective of my family.
  9. by   Chich
    Oh yes, since I had my son, & lets say you are at the store & you see a child or mother in need of some help, it's like an automatic response to want to help them because you can relate you know? You were there too at some point.
  10. by   leslie :-D
    just a reminder, this thread is 7 yrs old.

    but i do fully agree, this issue is very relevant today.

    leslie
  11. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from leslie :-D
    just a reminder, this thread is 7 yrs old.

    but i do fully agree, this issue is very relevant today.

    leslie
    Is it still okay to post on it anyway Leslie? Since my oldest child was abducted, and I didn't know if I would ever see her again, this thread helps me share my feelings. I still have occasional nightmares from that incident even though it was 35 years ago. Thankfully it had a happy outcome, but just like a soldier coming home from war, I still have the occasional nightmare.
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    Is it still okay to post on it anyway Leslie? Since my oldest child was abducted, and I didn't know if I would ever see her again, this thread helps me share my feelings. I still have occasional nightmares from that incident even though it was 35 years ago. Thankfully it had a happy outcome, but just like a soldier coming home from war, I still have the occasional nightmare.
    oh my gosh fran, of course it's ok to post.:icon_hug:
    that's why i wrote that it still remains a relevant issue today.
    yes, yes, yes - post away, my dear fran.:redpinkhe

    leslie
  13. by   traumaRUs
    My kids were raised overseas and I was hypervigilant with them both.

    Now that I have my grandson often I am still hypervigilant.

    So maybe I'm just overprotective!
  14. by   RN1982
    Everyone should be hypervigilant with their children. There are things that irk me and I'm not a mother yet...like people walking up to some woman with her little baby in the carseat carrier and touching the baby, yeah I realize they are being nice but really who knows? And if it was me, I would not want people coming up to me and my small baby and putting their hands on my child.

    We recently had a five year old girl abducted from outside her mother's apartment. She was outside playing by herself and mom was friends with a convicted sex offender. The little girl lost her life and so far it remains unsolved. We had another little boy who was abducted, about 11 years ago but I think his mom has something to do with his disappearence but the cops could not prove it. He was never found.

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