Canadians...go figure??

  1. This was sent to me by a canadian nurse that I used to work with. Originally being from up north(US side of the Border) I can sure see the truth in this...enjoy

    Dave
    --------------------------------------------------------------
    I Am Canadian!

    I am a minority in every casino in this county

    I was born in the last 50 years or so, yet I am responsible for some Native's great great grandfather who screwed himself out of his land in the 1800's.

    I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.

    I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

    All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.

    I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new Territory.

    Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner, and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well, knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.

    Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's Prime Ministers.

    95 percent of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.

    I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians. Although I'm sure none of them have ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for that matter.

    I believe that paying a 200 percent tax on alcohol is fair.

    Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.

    I often badmouth the United States, and then vacation there three times a year.

    I'm led to believe that some lazy ass unionized broom pusher who makes 30 dollars an hour is underpaid and therefore must go on strike, but paying 10 dollars an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at 40 below on an oil rig is fair.

    I believe that paying 30 million for 3 stripes (The Voice of Fire) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99 percent of this country didn't want it. Or will ever see it.

    When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make. I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans".

    I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry,
    because I control the rain.

    My National Anthem has versions in both official languages. And I don't know either of them.

    Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest
    military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing boat people.

    I am not an angry white male.

    I am an angry broke taxpayer.

    My name is ______, and I AM CANADIAN.
    •  
  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Not all that different than many US citizens, I see. Ahhh what a wonderful world.
  4. by   pebbles
    ....and many of us are not this bitter or this racist. Some of these were funny, some were over the line.

    I am Canadian, and I think I have it pretty darn good!
  5. by   adrienurse
    Bite Me
  6. by   tiger
    chill guys.
    Last edit by tiger on Nov 1, '02
  7. by   l.rae
    feelin the flames warmin up:roll
  8. by   Jenny P
    Not sure what to say about this, Dplear, as it is kind of nasty and cutting to Canadians when posted here by someone from the States.

    I was raised 70 miles south of Manitoba, and we always thought the greatest place to vacation was up in Canada; and the best time I ever had when I was single was when I went to Winnipeg for a weekend to "get away from it all." I loved the way the Canadians were so open to me, and I loved the multi-culturalism of Winnipeg. Every time I've been to Canada has been full of good experiences.
  9. by   2ndCareerRN
    This was sent to me by a canadian nurse that I used to work with.
    If i read the intro right, it was sent to him by a canadian nurse.

    Perhaps his knowledge of the international makeup of this board,(yes, I mean all the canadians members also), made him want to share it with the canadians that frequent the board.

    Then again, maybe he just wanted to see how many canadians would get their panties in a bunch by posting it....but I doubt it.

    So, to enlighten me, are the statements made untruths, exagerations, or just plain lies? Or is there a bitter ring of truth in the list of statements?

    Until then i will make sure i do no posting that may contain the word Canada, or refer to the country and people of Canada. I for one do not want to be responsible for a cross border war of words that would lead to harsh feelings.

    bob
  10. by   hapeewendy
    well most of you know me as a pretty laid back , humour appreciating and yes Canadian girl, I'll admit to having a chuckle over a few of the things on that original post, however I also found many of them to be horrible generalizations and just plain wrong.
    Just because we dont go around plastering the Canadian flag over anything and everything doesnt make up unpatriotic.Canada is not perfect as I've mentioned before,but I cannot imagine calling anywhere else home.
    I also cant imagine it going over well if I were to post something that made all kinds of assumptions about my U.S. counterparts, sure some of you might get a giggle but I could see the complaints already.....
    the following especially are completely unfunny and untrue and even non political non judgemental joke loving me finds these ones offensive :

    I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry, because I control the rain.

    I often badmouth the United States, and then vacation there three times a year.

    I'm led to believe that some lazy ass unionized broom pusher who makes 30 dollars an hour is underpaid and therefore must go on strike, but paying 10 dollars an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at 40 below on an oil rig is fair.

    I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians. Although I'm sure none of them have ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for that matter.

    Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner, and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well, knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.

    I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new Territory.

    I was born in the last 50 years or so, yet I am responsible for some Native's great great grandfather who screwed himself out of his land in the 1800's.


    okay for those who say chill out or its just a joke or whatever I understand what youre saying completely and did as I mentioned before get a kick out of some of the points (like the alcohol thing and the artwork thing) but imagine for a moment if someone posted these type of comments about your country , even if it was originally from a Canadian it still sucks in my opinion..

    I'm not out to flame, just to turn the tables and do a whole "well how would you feel thing"
    because I can bet my worthless Canadian paycheck that a post like this one about the U.S especially would most likely be pulled from this board.

    I love Canada, I love the States too .... both nations have their problems , and serious ones too
    which makes neither country superior.

    and Bob feel free to use the word Canada and Canadian and even joke about Canada, I think people were more offended by the comments I highlighted than anything else. Its not a good plan to , even in jest, presume to comment on how "all" Canadians or "all" members of any population for that matter think or feel.
    having said that , I AM MOST OFFENDED that people think that we find paying a 200% tax on alcohol acceptable, because well it just isnt!!!!!!!!!!!!


    :chuckle
  11. by   2ndCareerRN
    If I remember correctly, the two main things that were the subject of the most discussion, and wonder, whenever I went to Greenwood or Comox was the price of cigarettes and the price of alcohol. How could it be so much?

    That is why we always took plenty of each, after all, it was a sharing environment. The hosts were gracious enough to share their food, their meager supply of single women and other good times. And in return we shared Marlboros and Jack Daniels, or Johnny Walker. Everyone was happy. And a few months later, the roles were reversed when the Canadians came to San Francisco to visit with us. Except we did not expect Canadian cigarettes and beer. Just salmon.


    bob
  12. by   JonRN
    Did you hear about the new camera just invented in Canada?
    It's so fast it can take a picture of an American with his mouth
    shut. 'nuff said and BTW, I am a red-blooded 100% American.

    Pappy
  13. by   adrienurse
    You caught me on a bad day yesterday. I had just come home from a long day at the "zoo" (my workplace), and was feeling more than a little disgruntled. Perhaps misinterpreted the motivation for the posting a wee bit.
  14. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Those offended by this, let's lighten up! Jokes and jabs abound in Canada about rude, loud, ignorant, uncouth, lazy US Citizens and so much of the time it's true. It's funny how a few leave a bad impression on everyone. So what's wrong with laughing at our imperfections? It's good for the mental health. I am teased all the time by my Canadian friends, and I take it in good humor. LIGHTEN UP!

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