Can We Really Share Our Personal Opinions here...or, are those just words we say???

  1. i've read on soooooooooo many different forums and threads that we, at allnurses, share our personal opinions here without having to suffer the abusive overtones of others for saying what we personally believe about a certain topic.

    the truth that i am personally finding out here is this:

    we are not allowed to share our own personal feelings without ducking under a chair for fear of the "retorts" coming back at us for what we share and/or believe in.

    what's up with this "double talk"??? how mature can we really be with one another, allnurses members??? does maturity even live here anymore in those of you who do not respect others personal comments and opinions??? is it necessary to always have a nasty comeback when someone here shares something from their own personal perspective as to how they personally view a certain thing???

    someone else asked if we were responsible as nurses for practicing what we teach. some said "yes".....others said "no".
    why can't we let our "yes" be yes.....and our "no" be no.....share our personal opinion on the topic or question being posed...from our own personal perspective....then move on without tearing down something someone else shared in their previous post comments???? either some "snide remark" is directed to someone else's comments, or the person's character or choice of beliefs becomes the target of attack.

    that behavior is not mature! so......how long do we need to be members here before we come to mature in the fact that we all have personal opinions that can be shared without some having the need to attack what someone personally shares on a subject matter??????????? i really really want to know........and i have no doubt that many others would like to know this too......lurkers, posters, and all.

    thank you for sharing your personal comments on this topic without attacking one another's personal comments. let's see how well we do here on this topic. prove we can behave maturely and professionally without destruction of one another's personal beliefs. i, for one, bet we can't all do it! bet starting now......time.....1316 hour cst...go!!! :d
    Last edit by live4today on Sep 13, '02
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  2. 115 Comments

  3. by   nursedawn67
    I agree we should be able to give our personal opinions here as long as they are identified as personal opinions. Too many times I have seen posts that sound more like an attack then someones opinion. I realize that it is very hard to convey meaning on line, but we have to be sure we say "my opinion is". Good topic...thank youf ro bringing it up, I have thought it myself.
  4. by   delirium
    Renee,

    Is there a particular thread(s) that you are thinking of or referring to? It seems that your post is a generalization of bb behavior and I'd like to reference that and see if I agree.

    My experience has not paralleled yours.

    Nice to see you, btw... expect a PM.

    Take care,
    Reb
  5. by   live4today
    Rebecca.....will read your "PM"....and respond to you privately. :kiss

    BTW.......NO particular thread in mind.....just ALL in general wherever there seems to be an attack on certain individuals for what they personally share. Just trying to bring about a generalized sense of maturity on ALL our parts at Allnurses!
  6. by   Glad2behere
    I have seen it occur, especially in political or philosophical forums, and I must admit, I am guilty!

    Promise not to do it again......until Monday!
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    Yes, once in awhile things get personal but mostly we are pretty good about sharing differences of opinion without personal attacks.
    Many members are good about self regulation and reminding other to "be nice" etc.
    I commend the Allnurses members for their respectful posts and the occasional personal attacks are usually reported and I know that Aimee and I have both sent gentle reminders when things get too personal and will continue to do so.
    Don't hesistate to let us know if you feel a post is innappropriate.
    We are here for all of you and maybe even more important is we (all) are here for all of US!
    -Russell
  8. by   JonRN
    Well, anytime you get 2 or more people together, there are going to be disagreements. How you handle these disageements is indeed the true test of maturity, or lack thereof. This BB is not for a bunch of teenagers to argue about Brad Pitt or something equally inane. It should be about R-E-S-P-E-C-T. if you disagree with someone, then you are just as entitled to post your disagreement as the original poster is to post theirs. However, it should not be done in a mocking or sarcastic manner, it should be done respectfully, with consideration of the other partie's feelings. In an ideal world, on an ideal BB. However, this is the real world and people disagree.

    Pappy
  9. by   caliotter3
    I have noticed the same thing you have and imagine that there are a lot of people who restrain from posting b/c they do not want to get engaged with this kind of behavior. I get disappointed sometimes although I've jokingly stated that I miss getting to read the stuff that gets pulled. Thanks for bringing up this subject.
  10. by   Sleepyeyes
    It's hard for some people to disagree without sniping.

    But I would hope that they'd just get over it and learn to debate the issue, not the person.

    It can be done, you know?

    I don't believe I've attacked anyone personally for their beliefs, but if I am personally attacked for my beliefs and I feel strongly enough about it, I'll call ya on it as politely as possible.
  11. by   researchrabbit
    Plus sometimes it may APPEAR to be sniping but isn't...

    It's so much easier to express an opinion in person because then you know by facial expression and body language what was meant; here you have only words on a page. Easy to misinterpret!
  12. by   Sleepyeyes
    I agree; and largely, what I see here is, if someone is interpreting a personal attack the "offender" usually apologises or clarifies.

    And those who haven't, should take the hint and learn to.
  13. by   LasVegasRN
    The problem, IN MY OPINION, is that while a person may have an opinion, they post it in such a manner that it is degrading, insensitive, offensive, or just plain mean.

    I have said before that it is possible to post an opinion objectively. It is very difficult for people to DEBATE an issue without emotionalism. There are only a few people I have seen post on this board who can debate objectively and without emotionalism - it's not an easy thing to do as you have to remove yourself from the subject enough to base your argument on fact.

    Another factor to remember is that some of the members here know each other personally. Some have a certain comfort level posting their thoughts and opinions than others. It can't be denied that someone who is new to the board who comes in with a highly emotional post that can be perceived as being condescending or brow-beating will get flamed. It's like someone coming into your living room trashing your family members and they aren't family!! On the same note, say if I posted something I was upset about. If you, Renee, were to tell me, Vegas, you are blowing this way out of proportion, take a breather, relax, think about what you're saying, I would do exactly that. Why? Because we know each other. There are people I have come to know on this board and trust that will be honest with me and tell me when I need to "take a breather".

    Now, if you are new to this board or someone I haven't had much interaction with who tells me I am acting like a brat, I might take issue with that - HOWEVER - I would have to keep in mind that I POSTED ON A PUBLIC FORUM and I should expect comments from the PUBLIC. Whether or not I want to accept them is up to me.

    Either way, we are adults and should act accordingly. My hope is that if the people that know me here see me behaving in a bad way that they would tell me. I would not get upset with anyone for doing that.

    Yes, everyone has their opinions. But when a person posts for the express purpose to be contrary or controversial and words the post IN THAT MANNER, they should expect the same posts in return.

    Just my $0.05 - since this is longer than I planned.
  14. by   Love-A-Nurse
    i have seen it before too. personally, i have seen others start a thread with "it's my personal opinion" and they still have been "attacked".

    i sometimes think we read some threads and get too emotionally involved (myself included at times) and respond without thinking it is not a personal attack and this too is normal. some do not ever want to be wrong, is another way of looking at it too.

    i have come to realize that all will not behave in a mature manner(on certain threads that the given individual thinks maturity should be or should not be) and i feel some will do as others expect or want them to do and i for the most part, ignore and move on to the next topic at hand.

    i have found that a non-response deters, eventually, these types of post or and responses.

    i am reminded of some(here at allnurse and in other areas of my life) who love to tear down others to make themselves look good, but it doesn't.

    the mere fact that others/myself have different opinions does not make the opposed opinion right/true/so/written in blood, etc.

    just like beauty, it is all in the eyes of the beholder for how each individual act or does not act.
    Last edit by Love-A-Nurse on Sep 13, '02

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