Broke up with the boyfriend again.

  1. I am so raging mad right now!! I want to say that I hate men, but that would be a lie because I know it's not all men...just the a$$hole that I just wasted more time on than even I can believe. Spent 3 years with him, we broke up, got back together, just broke up again. And you know what? He's the same a$$ he was when we broke up 2 years ago, just 2 years older.

    He really had me fooled I'll say, but I have learned that a leopard can't change his spots. So why am I angry?!!! I have no clue. Maybe because I seem to have a magnetic device strapped to my boobies that attracts jerks. Who knows.

    I just needed to vent since I can't scream for fear of what the neighbors might think and I can't think of any other constructive way to deal with my anger at the present moment.

    T. :angryfire
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    About TCW

    Joined: Jun '01; Posts: 160


  3. by   rncountry
    You know I had one of those magnetic devices once, oh the a**holes I went through. Then one day I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. The more I thought about it the more I realized I always went for the fixer upper guy. Wondered if being a nurse had something to do with it since we are always helping somebody. Decided yep that had a great deal to do with it. Didn't date anyone for 8-9 months until I could get my head on straight. Worked for me and I have a great hubby now.
    Of course, I don't know how much that helps right now, so here's a (((((((((((()))))))))))))) from one who's been down the same road one too many times. Of course there's always the burning party that helps too.
  4. by   Mkue
    Care to share what happend? If not, that's ok.

  5. by   kids
    {{{TCW}}} been there. Screw the neighbors...howl if it is what you need that and vent away honey, we can take it.

    to briefly hijack TCW's thread:

    RNCountry- I used to specialize in fixer uppers too..imagine spending 4 years on the same idiot who acually deteriorated over time (ETOH)! I am also now married to a good man who didn't need any fixing just patience - he was very suspicious of women, but still a believer.

    I now return you to TCW's venting:
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    live and learn.....good luck to you. stay strong.
  7. by   JulieBean2U
    Definately think it has to do with our personalities as nurses!! It also seems that no matter how long ya know them, they change into Satan's spawn the minute ya marry them. I too stopped dating and tried to get my head together. Met my current hubbie about 8 months later. Seemed like a good thing. In retrospect, I think I was just desperately HORNY!!! Keep the faith and take care of YOU!
  8. by   TCW
    Care to share what happend? If not, that's ok.
    Where should I start...This is the short version:

    It started with Christmas with him arriving 3 hours late. I told him we were eating at 1pm, but somehow, 1pm turned into 4pm. My family celebrates Christmas on the 24th and the actual day is usually spent visiting with friends or entertaining. This year, however, I ate alone. No problem I told myself because I wasn't going to let eating alone ruin my day. Anyway, he shows up at 4:00 and asked what there was to eat. I told him brunch was at 1pm so I didn't know what he was going to eat. Well, of course, I told him a bunch of other things that I can't repeat on this BB. He apologized a bunch of times and said he'd make it up to me, but at that point I wasn't in the mood to deal with him let alone stand the sight of him so I went to my sister's house.

    Hadn't heard from him since the 25th so today he calls me to chit chat and to find out about New Year's Eve plans. We were supposed to go to a party my sister was throwing. I asked him if he and I were still going and he said, "I don't know. I have to see." ***** I took that to mean that he had to see if he got a better offer. Well, to make a long story short he just started acting like a complete a$$ threatening to hang up on me (mind you, he'll be 30 next month) and saying that he didn't want to be bothered right now because I was "annoying" him. He told me to call him tomorrow (Sunday) and we'd talk about it. At that point I was just totally over it and said, "Well, you're an a$$ today and tomorrow I'm sure you'll be an a$$ too so there's no point in calling you tomorrow. In fact, how about if I never call you again" I hung up before he could respond, but I'm sure in his callous way he would have just said, "ok". The whole thing was completely petty, but to me his whole attitude was just symbolic of something much deeper. Maybe I read too much into things, but he just had this attitude thing going on like he was doing me a favor by letting me breath the same air that he breathes. Whatever.

    Anyway, I am not hurt because I know I have no one to blame but myself, but I just can't believe him. The whole time we were supposedly reconciling there was that nagging voice in the back of my mind that was whispering, "don't do it" and my best friend would get stone quiet whenever I mentioned his name, but I went ahead with it anyway.

    You're right! I do go for the fixer upper guys. I seem to think they're okay in the beginning, but I soon find out otherwise. I think I'll swear off dating for a while.

  9. by   rncountry
    No, Tonya it is not petty. It is important and he didn't have a clue. I swear this man could be my ex-husband. When someone truly cares about you then they don't treat you like your about as important as the couch. I clearly remember telling my ex-husband that I couldn't get how he could be so great with friends but seemed to manage to forget his wife and children had feelings. There were many issues in my marriage, but the thing that lead to divorce was the fact that the man didn't want to be a family man. He didn't participate in family activities, the Halloween before we broke up we had a terrific fight because he didn't want to go trick or treating with me and the kids. He just didn't feel like it. Didn't matter that his children were dancing with excitement and wanted him to go so bad they could taste it, he didn't feel like it. Walking around in 30 degree weather while it is raining is not my idea of a good time either, but watching my kids faces light up is. I would have forgiven most anything this man did if he could only have given of himself to his children and me, but he couldn't. His wants, his needs always came first regardless of how it made other people feel or how it impacted on other's lives and that was something that ultimately I could not forgive.
    Was the issue at Halloween petty? Maybe to some people, but certainly not to me. It spoke volumes of what was important in his life and it was clear it was not his children. The incident with your boyfriend is the same thing, he is saying your not important, and by God if a man cannot treat the woman he is with as important enough to have feelings than it is time to throw the bugger out. So good for you! Once you know you deserve to be treated with dignity than that is half the battle. Took me awhile to get that whole concept in my head, went through several short term repeats of the first a**hole after we broke up. Taking a break is a good idea in my book, then when your not looking the right guy may fall into your lap.
  10. by   hapeewendy
    having been in your shoes, or at least a similar pair quite recently I can understand how youre feeling right now... you have gotten some wise words of comfort and some good advice here, I dont have that much to add really except that in a couple of months , although its hard and youre lonely and being alone sure does suck sometimes, you will feel differently, I think I'm finally getting over the hump of being so hurt and upset and angry and am just kinda dealing with things right now, my relationship played itself out in a very similar way to what I've read from your post and the best advice I can give you right now is to let yourself be sad, angry , disappointed or whatever you need to feel in order to get through the day. You have something great to give to someone so dont go wasting it on someone who will not or cannot appreciate it. We all want to be wanted and valued and needed, when we dont get at least the same amount of what we put into a relationship out of it then its time to sit back, think about things and press forward.
    I'm still in the baby steps of doing this , I still find it hard to put the lid on seven years of memories, and I'm actually to the point now where I can remember and not be sad about it. Relationship,whether they be good,bad or ugly teach you something, sounds incredibly hokey and corny and I would roll my eyes when people told me this a month and a half ago but its true......
    sometimes great wisdom is packaged in catchy,overused cliches....
    good luck
    Oh my what an a$$hole, Yes I have walked in those shoes, walked in them twice down the aisle, and after the last set I wore those shoes I threw them out!!!
    Maybe its a phase your in , and since you have decided to walk away from it with you making the first move of hanging up there is little chance you will find this a$$hole attractive to you.
    Take time out for yourself and have a good time , loose this guys name , number and access into your world what so ever. You can do better than that Im sure. The New Year is coming up make it a point to go out and mingle and have a good time without the weight of this deadman on you , you never know what is lurking around the corner.
    Be thankful that you didnt marry this looser, then instead of wearing the shoes we have worn together, you arent in the same boat.
    Just a thought
  12. by   Mkue
    What a creep he is for showing up at 4 pm for a 1 pm meal! That alone is cause for dismissal. Unless he had a legitimate excuse like auto accident or saving ppl from a burning building, I would definately be rid of him. Sorry this happend to you.

  13. by   renerian
    Don't let him rent any more space in your head. STart a new life in 2003. I understand completely................


  14. by   emily_mom
    Do some fun things for yourself. Get together with those friends that got neglected when you were with him. Make his name taboo.