Boyfriend is buying a house-need advice

  1. My fiance of two years is planning on buying a house in another state. Moving to another state is fine with me. Since my credit is fairly bad my name would not be on the deed/mortgage. However, his mother's name will be. His parent's house is in his name and his mother's name. Now this house will be also. Point being that I will be living with him in the house and feel akward not having my name in any piece of paper having to do with the house though I will be sharing in the payments of the bills. I feel that if anything happens to us, (break-up, death) I'll be left out in the cold without a place to live or any property. Is there anything that I could do legally or have a document made up that says that I am entitled not to be thrown into the cold with nothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated in this matter.
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  2. 65 Comments

  3. by   frannybee
    *sits back, waiting to read responses*
  4. by   kittyw
    Get married.


    Seriously ------>

    You may want to consult a lawyer for legal advice - a lawyer would know.

    Kitty
  5. by   cwazycwissyRN
    I'm not sure but I think this probably varies from state to state.
    Can't really help out much here, sure do understand your concern, ya sure don't want to find yourself SOL. Good luck on finding some concrete answers.
  6. by   kittyw
    Originally posted by frannybee
    *sits back, waiting to read responses*
  7. by   colleen10
    I can understand your concern and would suggest that you speak with the real estate agent about this.

    How long until you are getting married? Also, why is his mother's name on the deed? Is it because she is co-signing the loan?

    It can be a bit of a pain in the bum changing over the deed and mortgage to reflect your name once you have become married but it may be the way to go if you think that your credit history will hinder your ability to purchase the house.

    I'm sure a lawyer could draw up some sort of agreement for you but otherwise I would suggest you keep track of every single bill you pay and receipt from anything that you purchase to improve the house. That way, worst case, you have something to take to court.
  8. by   GAstudent
    My husband and I are buying a house. The house is in his name (also because I don't have much of a credit beacon and I am still young) but when buying the house and getting the loan he put my income on the papers to show more money coming into the house so that we could get a bigger home. I contribute to the bills as well. Of course we are married and have kids so if we got divorced the house would be a big issue. I would think that you could come up with an agreement in writing with a lawyer in case something happened with the two of you. Have you talked to him about your concerns? IF not, talk to him and tell him that you want to see a lawyer and come up with an agreement. After all you are changing states and don't know anyone or where to turn if something happens. I would think in that case (if you came up with an agreement) that he would have to pay for you a house and help you with bills in the case of splitting up. Or if you came up with an agreement that if he ever sold the house the so much would go to you. Talk to him and call a lawyer.
  9. by   Spidey's mom
    Originally posted by frannybee
    *sits back, waiting to read responses*

    :chuckle

    Well, I would never put myself in the position to not be a part of the purchases my spouse and I make.

    I'd say you need legal advice.

    Good luck.
  10. by   Brownms46
    Why not draw up a paper, that states he is giving you eqaul rights to the house, for as long as the relationship is intact. Would that work?? You could also draw up a lease, say for however long you plan to wait to get married. You could put the dollar amount at $1.00 a month, that way if you leave before the end of the lease...you wouldn't be out much.

    Anyway...just a thought
  11. by   kimtab
    I was on the other end of this with my last relationaship. To me, if you aren't helping out with downpayment or any other non-recurring expenses (you didn't say) and you aren't named on the mortgage as responsible for the payments, and you aren't married yet, then living there and paying half the monthly expenses isn't any less fair than living in an apartment you don't own and paying rent with a roomate.

    Sounds like you need to talk with your fiancee about it. Have you told him that you are feeling a bit left out? It may not have occurred to him, and he might have a solution in mind for you. I'd do that before I started calling lawyers. Think about how you feel right now-- how is he going to feel if you present him with some legal document out of the blue?

    Congratulations and good luck,

    Kim
  12. by   GraceyB
    To give you all a bit more background. I do not have good credit so his mother is the co-signer on the loan. Now because the parent's house is in both of their names this second house is also in both of their names and goes down as an investment property, also it is a spanking new 2 family home.

    I have spoken to him about my concerns and he understands my concerns. His answer is that with my credit there is no other way to do this. Marriage is not around the corner, at least three years away.

    I'd like some type of legal document or even a notarized paper from them both saying that if anything happens to us that I am entitled to keep the house and that if the house is sold I am entitled to half, since I will the one living in it and paying the bills.

    Being in another state is not a problem as it is only half an hour away from where I live now just across a bridge.

    Thank you for your replies!
  13. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    His mother isn't co-signing because YOUR credit isn't so hot, because your name is nowhere on it. HIS CREDIT must not be great.

    Quite frankly, I have enough MIL issues that I couldn't possibly live in a house she co-owned with my hunny. Ugh.

    Seek legal advice, and let us know. My gut instinct is that you wouldn't really have any claim to that house, but I'd like to know the answer.

    Heather
  14. by   Brownms46
    Originally posted by GraceyB
    To give you all a bit more background. I do not have good credit so his mother is the co-signer on the loan. Now because the parent's house is in both of their names this second house is also in both of their names and goes down as an investment property, also it is a spanking new 2 family home.

    I have spoken to him about my concerns and he understands my concerns. His answer is that with my credit there is no other way to do this. Marriage is not around the corner, at least three years away.

    I'd like some type of legal document or even a notarized paper from them both saying that if anything happens to us that I am entitled to keep the house and that if the house is sold I am entitled to half, since I will the one living in it and paying the bills.

    Being in another state is not a problem as it is only half an hour away from where I live now just across a bridge.

    Thank you for your replies!
    First I was not saying for you to present him with a paper without you two talking together. When I read this I just thought you both had already discussed this, and I see you have.

    Second..I totally understand your desire to have some sort of secruity, as I'm sure you will be paying much more than $1.00 toward toward living in this home. I suggested $1.00 as there are times, when these things don't work out. So this was more of a protection idea...at best.

    But since you can't qualify for the home with your credit, and his mother's name would still be on the property, it wouldn't be fair to her to continue to have her name on it. Why not work on clearing up your credit, and the two of you refinance with your names on the papers. Is his mother putting down money with him or or they using the first house as collateral??

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