blondes

  1. any favorite blonde jokes?? no offense to any blondes. one of mine is.....a business man steps into an elevator and there is already a blonde inside. she smiles and greets him with t.g.i.f. he nods and replies s.h.i.t. she looks at him, puzzled and again says t.g.i.f he again acknowledges her with s.h.i.t. she wants to be friendly so again she puts on her biggest smile and in her sweetes voice says t.g.i.f. he looks at her and with a quizzical expression on his face replies s.h.i.t. the blonde the decides she better explain it to him. so she says tgif means thank god its friday. get it? he then replies s.h.i.t. means sorry honey its thursday.
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   JenKatt
    Oh blonde jokes... how I love them, especially since I'm blonde and people seem to think that I am offended by them.. until I tell them this one:
    Why do blondes hate making Kool-aid?

    They can't figure out how to fit 2 quarts of water into that itty bitty little package...

    How do blonde brain cells die?
    Alone

    What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
    A wind tunnel


    How do you drown a blonde?
    Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

    Then there is this true story.. My finacee knew a girl in high school, don't remember her name, he stood in front of her and said "hi". She said "hi jeff'. He covered her eyes and said hi again.. she asked "who is it?"

    yep.. there are blondes out there who drag the rest of us down
  4. by   Q.
    I love blonde jokes.

    Here's a few:

    Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
    To hold up their ankles.

    Why was the blonde's bellybutton black and blue?
    Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
  5. by   Stargazer
    Wow, Susy--we finally get to see what you look like! (Cute pic!)

    I love blonde jokes, too, even though I am one. The last 2 were great. Loved the "brain cell" one, too. 2 of my favorites:

    Q: What's the mating call of a blonde at a party?
    A: "I am SOOOOOO drunk!!!"

    Q: What's the mating call of a brunette or a redhead at the same party?
    A: "Has that damned blonde left yet??!!"
  6. by   CEN35
    too funny! lmao! although........i must admit..either i'm slow or tired............but it took me a while to figure out suze's....
  7. by   Dplear
    A blonde and brunette were riding down in an elevator together when a guy gets in. He is real good looking but has a bad case of dandruff. The blond and brunette were enjoying looking at him until he got off a few floors later. the brunette says to the blonde that the guy sure was cute but could he ever use some head and shoulders. The blonde agrees with the brunette. They get to the ground floor and before the brunette steps off the elevator the blonde turns to her and asks, How do you give shoulders?
  8. by   Dplear
    How do you confuse a blonde?.....put her in a round room with a chair and tell her to sit in the corner.....
  9. by   CEN35
    lmao!
  10. by   tiger
    a blonde decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. she mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. in terror she grabs for the horses mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. she tries to throw her arms around the horses neck but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. the horse gallops along seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider. finally giving up her frail grip the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. she is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves. as her head is struck against the ground over and over. as her head is battered against the ground she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...bill, the walmart greeter sees her and unplugs the horse.
  11. by   CEN35
    omg!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao rotf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  12. by   Cardiolo
    A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits."
  13. by   tiger
    good ones guys. here's another. a blonde calls her boyfriend and tells himshe has the coolest jigsaw puzzle but can't seem to get it started. she asks him to come over to help her. he asks her what the picture is and she tells him a beautiful tiger is on the box. so he goes right over to her house and finds her sitting at the table studying the pieces and then the picture with a look of total frustration on her face. he moves in closer and then realizing what he really sees tells her there is no way he can help her put that puzzle together. when she asks why he says just put the corn flakes back in the box......theyrrrrrrrrre great!!!
    Last edit by tiger on Jul 14, '01
  14. by   Q.
    How can you tell when a blonde has been using a computer?

    There is white-out all over the monitor.

    By the way, Janet, that one with the horseback riding was HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

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