Biracial/Multiracial Adoptions....

  1. My husband and I were planning to adopt two siblings that were white a while back because their parents were in prison, and there was no other family who wanted them.

    I called about adopting those children, and the lady was very nice on the phone......until she came to my home and met us. The shock on her face was priceless. She was white.....wondering why we...a Black Couple...wanted to adopt white children...."and not our own kind" (as she put it). :angryfire Yep...I was ready to blow flame from my mouth onto her person and put her out of her misery right then and there......but I refrained from violence to teach her a much needed lesson.

    I invited her to sit down, poured her a glass of orange juice that she said she wanted, and hubby and I sat with her for the better part of two hours as we talked about "adoption".

    Now.....mind you.....we had already raised kids (his/mine)...so we didn't NEED to go through parenting again.....we WANTED to.

    Needless to say.....that lady flat out told us that.....and I quote her exactly "There is NO WAY a Black family will be approved for a white child."

    :angryfire began to rise within my body. I asked her why not.....she said "That's just the way it has always been, and that's just the way it is now. No one has ever challenged that before, so I don't know what else to say to you except that."

    Okay......to bring a very loooooonggg Saturday morning appointment with that lady to a close...........I skip much of the conversation for now........to ask all of you this question:

    Why is it that a white couple can adopt a black child, but a black couple can not adopt a white child? And....PLEEZZE spare me the "because there are more black children available" crap...I really don't want to hear about that....just want to know what is wrong with Black couples adopting white children......if it's okay for white couples to adopt black children? That's all I am seeking an answer to here. Thank you for your cooperation as well as your thoughtfulness and sensitivity to this subject matter. :kiss
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  2. 33 Comments

  3. by   researchrabbit
    All I hear about is that kids are "aging out of the system", turning 18 and being kicked out and having nowhere to go and noone to rely on.

    A GOOD HOME IS BETTER THAN A GROUP HOME OR AN ORPHANAGE ANY DAY. Children need to be loved and cared for, and color doesn't matter! GAH! When will people get it?!

    I would take this to her supervisor and then to a lawyer. That is flat out WRONG.
  4. by   Dez
    Wow, I have to say that it is wonderful that after raising kids and how hard it is, that you want to adopt this child. I think it takes a special person to do that. But I have no clue as to why a black couple should not raise a white child. To me, that sounds rediculous. So its better to leave the child in a foster home then to a loving couple who will love him/her? Color has nothing to do with love and caring. I would have also been enraged!
  5. by   LasVegasRN
    Oooooooh, I can't get started on this one. Not today. Renee, I promise I'll come back at some point. Just can't do this one today.
  6. by   ptnurse
    I have heard that there are also objections to whites adopting black children. The reason usually given are that adoption by whites separates the black children from their culture and history. Is this situation wrong? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Call yourself a lawyer!!
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    UGH renee...that makes me insane. ANY kid would be LUCKY to have you as a parent!!!!!!!!!!! I am so sorry the system is screwing these kids and you so badly. It is so wrong!
  8. by   Sleepyeyes
    So suppose something happened to my sister and her ex--and their biracial child was up for adoption-- I could adopt the child, but the child's (very wealthy) paternal grandparents wouldn't be considered???

    seems to me that someone oughta challenge that, renee. seems to go against some kinda civil rights, doesn't it?
  9. by   live4today
    I totally agree! I was so very hurt after that woman left our home that I told my husband I was going to report them for being so biased. She just couldn't for the life of her understand WHY we wanted a white child/children to adopt. It wasn't for her to know.....all she needed to know is were we fit parents or not.

    I've wanted to adopt children since I was 11 years of age, but my first husband forbid it.....his father ruled his brain then.
    My second husband didn't really want to raise anymore kids PERIOD....even if they landed on our doorstep looking like they could be ours. However......he loves me and knows that I am a great mom, and that a lot of kids can benefit from my love, so he was willing to do it......for me. :kiss
  10. by   night owl
    Originally posted by cheerfuldoer

    .....that lady flat out told us that.....and I quote her exactly "There is NO WAY a Black family will be approved for a white child."

    :angryfire began to rise within my body. I asked her why not.....she said "That's just the way it has always been, and that's just the way it is now. No one has ever challenged that before, so I don't know what else to say to you except that."
    This is flat out wrong! Excuse me, but there is no law that states that a Black couple can not adopt a white child. If you want to adopt, that's your right, and you should be able to adopt any child you want to love and nurture. Love comes in many colors... When are people going to realize that? SmilingBluEyes stated it well..."Any kid would be lucky to have you as a parent." You'd better believe that I would challenge this with a very good lawyer.
  11. by   Brownms46
    I see no reason why an person of any race...can't adopt any child...period. Boy...won't someone get rid of the racist head...that keeps popping up...and just won't go away! Pesky old critter....shooo..goooo away..!
  12. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by Brownms46
    I see no reason why an person of any race...can't adopt any child...period. Boy...won't someone get rid of the racist head...that keeps popping up...and just won't go away! Pesky old critter....shooo..goooo away..!
    Yeah! What Brownie said!!
  13. by   Brownms46
    :chuckle...oooh k vegas...tell us about the "Peace Corps"????
    Warrior Woman...started it ....not me...:chuckle
  14. by   Jenny P
    I don't get it either, Renee.

    I've always wanted to adopt kids, but after having our 2nd child, I realized my Hubby was not cut out for being father to more than 1 kid at a time... and our kids were more than the usual challenge to any parent.

    We were foster parents to a friend of my dtr's for part of the year 2000, and I enjoyed it and it didn't kill him; but I can't ask him to do it again because of his health problems (MS and diabetes) being easily thrown out of whack by emotional stress.

    I think that is just flat out discrimination that you were told that by tht woman. Does that mean that Blacks can't adopt any other color either? Geez, however they answer THAT question would be REALLY interesting! It might get them in even deeper trouble than just the white child question!!!!!!!

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