all I can say is do your best to keep your kids around the best influence. I remember Bessemer, from the 70's. It seemed kind of a depressed town then, compared to Birmingham. The Alabaster area was just beginning to take off a grow then, too.
I don't know how we will ever change the outlook of folks who seem to thrive on bitterness and looking backward. You and I, and our parents, and grandparents, and even great-grandparents, and perhaps further back than that had nothing to do with slavery. Yet, there is a segment of society that feels that we owe them money to recompense them for the things that were done to their slave ancestors. My question there is, how would giving a person in the 21st century money make up for what how their slave ancestors were treated? There is no way. So, quit grinding the same old axe, and join the rest of society to work and do the best you can for your family and your country.
As a child, I was taught to speak to everyone
, and that I was no better than anybody else. On the other hand, nobody else was better than me. I think my parents did their best with that. Amazing, sometimes when you speak to someone (could be male/female of any race) they look at you like, what does she want? Answer: just to acknowledge that I see another human being passing my way. No other motive!
Good luck to you and your kids. It sounds as though they have a Mom that genuinely cares.