Because Nice Matters............................

  1. I had this discussion with a friend of mine yesterday and after reading the "Cold Hearted" post I thought that I would propose this question on the board.

    What has happened to basic manners and "nice-ities" and caring in this day and age?

    I'm not just talking about at work either. As nurses you all know that you are extremely busy people and deal daily with stressors that most humans could not handle. There is not enough time in your day at work for all the "thank you'" and "pleases", etc. But what about the odd times that there is time for a "really appreciated your help" "hope you are doing ok" or even outside of work like when you go to the store or a social gathering?

    Is it just me or have a lot of basic manners gone out the window? Or are people just not raised with manners anymore? I can't believe I'm asking this because I'm only 27 yrs. old myself. I didn't go to a fancy finishing school but I was raised to say "thank you" and "please". To hold the door open for the person behind me. To offer my seat if there were none available and an elderly person, handicapped person, or pregnant woman were to come on board. To step aside if I were walking down a narrow hallway or sidewalk and let the other pass. Yet daily, I see men / women, old / young disregard basic considerations. And I'm not even talking about basics even. I mean, I started a new job and was only there for 2 weeks when a salesman that I worked for blatantly asked if I was" going to start a family soon because he didn't want to bother to teach me anything if I wasn't going to be around long". I mean, in what day in age is it appropriate to ask anyone something so personal?

    Is it just me? Is it where I live? Are we, as a culture, so focused on ourselves that we pay no attention to others? Is it all these new gadgets that we have now that let us get things done twice as fast and do twice as much?

    Interested in what any of you might have to say about this.


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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   micro
    good ????? no answers, but do the best I can for myself and my world whereever I am at the moment....
    share this site/poem......as it deeply touched my heart and know it is out there and circulated around.....worth sharing over and over www.justsaywow.com/newfun3/presentday.html
  4. by   colleen10
    Wow! Micro,

    I think that poem probably hit the nail right on the head.

    Will definately pass it around.
  5. by   BrandyBSN
    I got this email from my step-dad...

    What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved.

    There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education,
    divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.

    People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life
    is a bumpy ride.

    That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's
    worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.

    We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along.

    There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.

    Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew
    they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun.

    And there were no drive by shootings.

    Our values were better when our roads were worse!

    People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and
    motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks.

    Dirt Roads taught patience.

    Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your
    car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk.

    For your mail, you walked to the mail box.

    What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the
    best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

    At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted
    like soap.

    Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a
    fishing creek or a swimming hole.

    At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.

    At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime
    income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out.

    Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...at the end
    of a Dirt Road!

    ~by Paul Harvey~
  6. by   live4today
    That is so nice, Brandy! Sure makes one think, doesn't it?

    I agree that there seems to be an increase in people who do not use good manners. A child must be raised with good manners, see those good manners exercised by the ones who teach them (good manners), and practice using their good manners long after they are no longer children.

    A child begins to learn about life from the womb onward. Yes, from the "womb" as studies have proven that baby's in utero respond to different types of music, hearing the voice of their mother - even fathers, too. An in utero infant who hears nothing but loud noises, fighting and arguing around his/her (inner nest inside mom) will often be born a very anxious, nervous, screaming child instead of one who enters the world with a gentle spirit, and one who is calm-natured.
  7. by   mc40421
    For a long time now I would blame people's rudeness and other bad manners on the fact that everyone has so much on their minds, but lately I've begun to change my way of thinking. I was brought up learning good manners and have instilled that in my two girls, and it's a way of life for me. I'm not perfect, and everyone has their bad days, but I make an honest effort at all times to treat others the way I like to be treated.
    I've noticed that more and more people are attached to their cell phones when they're out in public, and in addition to distracting them when they're driving, I've now been "rear-ended" by a woman and her shopping cart in the supermarket while she was talking on her phone! I think we all know how much it hurts to get hit in the back of the ankle by one of those things, but the woman just gave me a nasty look and passed around me without even apologizing! By the time I get home from doing my errands I'm just very annoyed with people's rudeness.
    I think Brandy is right about "dirt roads." My husband is from a very small town in Iowa and in that area dirt roads are very common. The people are so friendly and polite. It's a very different atmosphere, and I only wish there were more places like that. But in the meantime, I refuse to change my ways and values.
  8. by   mario_ragucci
    Forget dirt road :-) Life was better w/o cars. Right? Tin-Lizzy killed America, and everything in it. :-)

    If someone stubbed my heel with a shopping cart, while they we're on a cell phone, I'd tackle them, take the cell phone, run to the end of the parking lot, and spike the cell phone.

    Touchdown !!!!!
  9. by   mattsmom81
    I agree all...I seem to see more rudeness and less politeness!

    The cell phone phenom is one of my pet peeves...can't even have a nice quiet chatty lunch with a girlfriend cuz of all the loudmouth businessmen and women who can't put their cells down to eat! The ringing continuously is so aggravating..guess the youngsters tune it out but it's very noxious!

    I can relate to the grocery experience, I usually get hit or beaned by someone too--if not a woman/phone with a cart, then one of her children who she isn't watching as they careen down the aisles running unsuspecting shoppers down.....LOL!

    I've raised my son to be polite and his friends look at him like he's nuts (their parents love him though! Ha)

    My girlfriend from Great Britain thinks ALL Americans have awful manners so I guess it's all relative though...LOL!!!
  10. by   scrappy
    Colleen, It is really funny that you posted this, because I was just thinking about this yesterday. I was taking a patient some pain medicine, when she looked at me and said, "I would say thank you, but this is what you get paid to do". Sometimes it seems that this is the general attitude, "I don't have to be nice so I won't be". Personally, I raise my children to show respect and have manners. Hopefully, this will be infectious.
  11. by   tapper
    The problem comes down to a lack of respect. People don't seem to consider how their actions effect others. As for the dirt road . . . we wouldn't be able to share our words the way we are now if that dirt road hadn't have been paved a long time ago.
  12. by   Teshiee
    There was a time when people had manners. Now with dysfunctional families people not raising their kids, leaving up to the school system to babysit them, it is no wonder why we have a generation of degenerates. Even to this day I respect my parents. I respect my elders and most of all respect myself. I will speak to a stranger or help someone who is not as fortunate. You had a very good up bringing. Live in LA where they have the one of the worse foster care systems in the world! It is sad all we can do is start with ourselves and instill it in our loved ones!
  13. by   micro
    Originally posted by Teshiee
    There was a time when people had manners. Now with dysfunctional families people not raising their kids, leaving up to the school system to babysit them, it is no wonder why we have a generation of degenerates. Even to this day I respect my parents. I respect my elders and most of all respect myself. I will speak to a stranger or help someone who is not as fortunate. You had a very good up bringing. Live in LA where they have the one of the worse foster care systems in the world! It is sad all we can do is start with ourselves and instill it in our loved ones!


    couldn't have been better said.......teshiee.................

    it all does start with US!!!!!!!!!
  14. by   susanmary
    Kindness counts. I've instilled this by example to my three teenagers. One's an eagle scout, one's just finished his eagle project, and my daughter is also involved in community service. We teach by example. We OWN our behaviors. The best we can do is take responsibility, look at the big picture, and be kind to OURSELVES and OTHERS....always. If we act unkindly, we OWN that and should apologize. But mostly....kindness counts....it's the little things. I LOVE this post.

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