Bad news about BIL........

  1. ..........he does have esophageal CA. Even worse, the tumor is very large (around 5 cm), and seems to have wrapped itself most of the way around his esophagus. That's why he's been in so much pain, and why he can't speak above a whisper or even swallow food now.

    Ye gods..........they say it's a Stage III, which does give him some chance of survival, but even in this early phase of diagnosis, things are looking pretty grim. He's only 64, but he's been a heavy smoker/drinker for most of his life, worked in construction, and has had GERD forever---in short, he's got every possible risk factor and then some.

    Even so, it's a huge shock..........I've known this man for over 40 years and can't imagine my sister without him. Everything is on a rush-rush schedule right now, which is freaking her out; she feels like everything is happening too fast and she hasn't had time to process it yet. I don't blame her---he was diagnosed this morning, and he already has an appointment with a gastroenterologist tomorrow morning and an endoscopy/biopsy scheduled for the afternoon. I told her they're in a hurry because they want to give him every possible shot at survival, but of course if it were MY husband in this position, I would be freaking out too, nurse or not!

    I've given her some information about the disease, possible treatments, and pain control; I'm OK as long as I can stay in clinical mode. (As a sister-in-law, however, I'm not doing so well.........I had to shut my office door after I got off the phone with my sister this afternoon, which is something I almost NEVER do, and just cry for a little bit.) Tomorrow we will know more; for tonight, I'm simply thankful I have this place to let my hair down, where I don't always have to be strong.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. 41 Comments

  3. by   dianah
    Oh, Marla, my prayers go out to your bil and sister and families. I'm glad efforts towards dx and tx are moving fast, however it's such a stunner for all involved. You're right: your sister doesn't have enough time to process everything. I have no words that could "help," just know that I sincerely wish for the best for him and everyone involved. I'm glad you felt you could come to your cyber-family. Gentlest of hugs.
  4. by   donsterRN
    Marla, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your bil and your sister and all affected by this illness. I don't have magic words, either, but I sincerely hope and pray that he will be OK.

    You come and let your hair down anytime, OK? Hugs to you.
  5. by   bethin
    Marla, you and your family will be in my prayers. I never know what to say when stuff like this happens - nothing seems right so here's some ((((hugs))))
  6. by   prmenrs
    I'm so sorry, Marla. No words of wisdom, just warm thoughts and prayers. I hope it turns out better than it sounds right now.
  7. by   suzy253
    (((Marla))) I'm so very sorry. I have no words either. My prayers are with you and your family.
  8. by   clemmm78
    I'm so sorry.
  9. by   Grace Oz
    (((hugs))) I have no words other than to second what the others have written and tell you I shall hold your BIL and all of you in healing thought and prayer.
  10. by   akcarmean

    I am so sorry, prayers are going out to your entire family. I know you all will need them. Please feel free to come and "let your hair down". We will always be here. (((((HUGS))))

  11. by   compassion1
    (((((((Marla, sister and BIL)))))))
    Prayers have already been said. God is a wise and good God who loves your whole family. God bless you all with healing and peace.
  12. by   DDRN4me
    :icon_hug: (((((((Marla)))))) as all of our friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I do commend you for allowing yourself time to be a sister in law and not stay in clinical mode... it is much easier to deal with on that level but right now your sister needs you as her sister... to help her feel the pain and process it ... the nursing helps but there are plenty of clinical people around her. God bless all of you on this journey, no matter where it may lead. And please come to us to vent whenever you need!!! <
  13. by   UM Review RN
    ((((Marla & family)))))
  14. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    I'm so sorry about this, Marla. Your and your family are in my prayers.