Application For A Night Out With The Boys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Well it is.....just in time for the holiday season!!!!!


    Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:_____________________

    I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

    Time of departure:
    Time of return:
    Not to exceed:

    Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

    Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
    Beer _________
    Wine _________
    Liquor _________

    Locations to be visited:

    Females with whom conversation is permitted:

    IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

    I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a _________________________ concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

    I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
    Signed: ______________________________

    Request is: APPROVED__________ DENIED__________

    This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

    .................................................. .................................................. .......................
    Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
    Time of departure:
    Time of return:

    Signed: ____________________________
  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Gator,SN
    TOO FUNNY! You have a wonderful sense of humor!
    (and of the female opinion.)
  4. by   emily_mom
    I'm printing this right now! Thanks!!!
    Originally posted by emily_mom
    I'm printing this right now! Thanks!!!
    Ditto. In multiple copies!