anyone with daughter-in-law problems

  1. Anyone out here with problems with their daughter-in-law? Mine is giving me fits! She was all sweet and nice before the engagement....began badmouthing some after the engagement...more after the marriage. Now that a grandchild is in the picture, she is getting impossible! I have asked 3 times in three months to come for a visit and have been turned down 2 of 3 times. I don't interfer in their lives. I don't drop by frequently (I live > 2 hours away), I don't offer advise, I don't complain about DIL (well recently I have but not before). Any conversation with her includes at least q 5 mins her complaining about a neighbor, or co-worker, or boss, or family member. If I was the only person she disliked I might take it seriously. My son and I are close, which he says is a problem for her. Despite that closeness, I don't call him constantly, don't ask him to come up to "fix" things. I have strived for many years to have him indepentent from me (a single mother). I worked many extra hours to have him live in a dorm less than 2 miles from my house when he entered college because I felt he needed to get away from his mother and enter the adult world. I was so happy when they became engaged. He was lonely and I was so glad he had found a "life partner", now I am so sad. Any advise???
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   hock1
    As a daughter-in-law with previous mother-in-law troubles, I hope this helps. Little comments do add up. As I became more empowered by motherhood, I felt like my husbands mother was an unwelcomed intruder and no amount of advice or help from her was needed. She didn't do things the way I like them to be done. She wasn't openly rude or spiteful in anyway. I can't even really place my finger on exactly what we clashed about, but we sure did. Only once did we argue and it was a big 'f*** you' argument too. Somehow through it all, we became friendly towards each other. Now the family laughs at how our husbands sat with eyes glued to the floor and frozen in their chairs, ha, ha. Just don't give up on your manners. Keep your words as sweet as possible and maybe she'll come around and see you as less of a threat. Good luck
  4. by   heatherbless
    Quote from ernurse2244
    Anyone out here with problems with their daughter-in-law? Mine is giving me fits! She was all sweet and nice before the engagement....began badmouthing some after the engagement...more after the marriage. Now that a grandchild is in the picture, she is getting impossible! I have asked 3 times in three months to come for a visit and have been turned down 2 of 3 times. I don't interfer in their lives. I don't drop by frequently (I live > 2 hours away), I don't offer advise, I don't complain about DIL (well recently I have but not before). Any conversation with her includes at least q 5 mins her complaining about a neighbor, or co-worker, or boss, or family member. If I was the only person she disliked I might take it seriously. My son and I are close, which he says is a problem for her. Despite that closeness, I don't call him constantly, don't ask him to come up to "fix" things. I have strived for many years to have him indepentent from me (a single mother). I worked many extra hours to have him live in a dorm less than 2 miles from my house when he entered college because I felt he needed to get away from his mother and enter the adult world. I was so happy when they became engaged. He was lonely and I was so glad he had found a "life partner", now I am so sad. Any advise???
    she sounds like she has some other emotional problems--it's not you, so don't fret. best, heather.

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