The "tude" as I call it, is not unusual. My kids however think they are superiror and would be fighting over who got the pizza first!
My dtr is one of those girls you couldn't stand in HS, kind of a stuck up snot, but also has a generous heart when it comes to some things. Her self-esteem fluctuates from so high I can never relate, to so low. I am a terrible mother you know b/c she has not been to the dentist in 3 years! (We've been paying for the other one's braces, but we love him more of course! Problem is I am too fussy about dentists d/t my own bad experiences, and so we have to pay out of pocket for our of network one that I trust. Plus, she had lost so many freaking teeth during that time, I figured wait til their all grown in right? I'm such a bad mother.)
I have never heard them say I don't deserve.... whatever....at least that I can remember. Sometimes raising teenagers is like giving birth, you block out the pain to cope so you can face another day! I haven't touched much alcohol in the years from birth until now. Now, at least there is always a bottle in the liquor cabinet, before I used to have to go to the liquor store if I ever felt like a drink! Anyway, I remember myself having such loooooow self-esteem at their age, it can be very hard. You definitely want to talk to him, before he find other things that make him feel good, like drugs.
I have found one-on-one time works well. My dtr is so into herself, that whenever she is home, she monopolizes every conversation, must be the center of attn at all times, I love her, but she sucks the life right out of me at times. So, the first few times she had spent the night at a friends, I thought, ah, peace and quiet. But to my delight, the opposite happened, my son started babbling to no end. It was nice. He actually had a lot to say but never was given a moment by his sister. No matter how hard I try to get him to talk, it still seems he does his best talking in the car when it is just the two us us. He is in HS now, so he gets home an hour before his sister, this is the time he spends out of his room talking to me, when she comes home, he disappears into his room.
So, my advice is take some time to go somewhere together, without the other boys along. Make some time every week for just him. See what happens. If he still doesn't want to open up to you, try getting his dad or an uncle, or another male figure he admires to take him out, on the pretense of helping to do a chore, or just for fun, let him pick the movie/activity, etc. Just be there, so he knows if he needs to talk to someone, you will make time for him. Kids this age don't know what they want right now, just be there, I think it gives them security deep down inside.