Any other child-free nurses here?

  1. I am curious if there are any other nurses here who have decided not to have children? I ask because I have found that another RN message board I post on has become essentially a stay at home or part time working mom RN board. If I say anything about my not having kids I get flamed. Half of the posts start out "as a mother, I know....". I'd just like to start a thread for those who have chosen not to have kids and explore their work place experiences.

    I did 10 years hospital bedside nursing and then 6 years in management. I am now a gov't consultant, in part so that I'd no longer have cover anyone's maternity leaves or ear aches or Irish Dance lessons or soccer games. I don't think I'm being petty...I think this a real nightmare on the clinical scene....in my 6 years as a manager, I had to do double work for 2 full years to cover for maternity leaves.

    I find if I talk about the fact that the childfree lifestyle is right for me and my husband, people take offense. Anyone else experienced this?
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    There are many, many times I WISH I were child free.
    But I'm not and I love my kids. I can see where someone would choose not too have kids. We wont flame you here!
    -Russell
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    NO flames from this mom; I really respect those that chose to remain childfree when they KNOW they don't want kids. Two of my dearest, closest friends are childfree and are WONDERFUL, unselfish people with so much to offer. On the flipside, I see SO many kids born to parents who SHOULD NOT be having kids for so many reasons! I salute you; you are very unselfish. I don't presume to be "better" than anyone just because I have the experience of being a mom. All I ask is that childfree people NOT attempt to tell me how to parent my kids (like Oprah). Yes, it happens.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Sep 30, '02
  5. by   Nurse Ratched
    Child free here .

    I get the standard "Oh, you have time to change your mind" thing . Only very occasionally, I get a little attitude from people who think that my child-free choice means I choose instead to spend all my time at work (believe me, that is *not* the trade-off I'm looking for lol!) I don't work OT if I can at all avoid it (and have been very successful with judicious use of the words, "No, thank you.") Other people's child care issues are not mine and I don't consider that being harsh. I don't bring my issues to work and hope others don't either. If I can help out someone else, that's fine and glad to do it, but I don't think that those who have kids should have higher priority in terms of convenience of scheduling, holidays, etc.

    All in all, I find that once people realize that my free time is as valuable to me as anyone else's is to them, there are no problems.
  6. by   live4today
    I personally think it's a very wise decision that a person comes to when they know they either don't want children, or aren't ready to add children to their life. I commend those of you who THINK AHEAD by NOT adding children to your lives when you KNOW you aren't the "parent type".....whether now or ever. :kiss
  7. by   fedupnurse
    No kids here, unless you count dogs and nieces and nephews! Until recently I had my sister kids 4 days a week. I felt like a full time mom with a full time job besides so I said I want to go back to being their aunt, rather than their primary care giver. I love children but know I do not want to have any of my own. I can honestly say I have never regretted my decision. I know what you mean about those with kids expecting those of us without kids to do extra duty on holidays and weekends and during the summer and school breaks. I learned to politely say no a long time ago and for those who are pushy and persist I say just cause I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a family that I want to spend time with on holidays, etc. That usually shuts them up. I have an older sister who is married with no kids (DINK=double income no kids) I am a SINK, and very content to remain that way until Prince Charming arrives!!!!!!
  8. by   adrienurse
    No kids here. Mostly from lack of opportunity, rather than by choice. Instead I have furry child substitutes.
  9. by   Stargazer
    I have very protective and maternal feelings towards my nieces and nephews (I'm "the cool aunt"--yay!), but no kids myself. I still "have time to change my mind" too, but the older I get, the less likely I think that is. Loads of my friends are childfree-by-choice.
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    No flaming here. I think it's a respectful decision, and from the childless by choice folks I know, it is a decision they did not enter into lightly.
  11. by   Q.
    I am child-free as well, so far by choice. I also agree with Stargazer; the longer that seems to be, the less likely I think that I will have kids.

    Personally, I LOVE children entirely too much to have them myself. Sounds odd, I know, but I have very high expectations of parenthood and being a parent; one that I think our society doesn't hold. And being an L&D nurse, I've seen the worst parents our society has to offer. So, I feel I am entirely too selfish to be a good parent.

    My kids should be primary, and I don't feel I can really do that if I am concentrating on my job AND school AND my social life as well. I guess I feel I can only do so many "jobs" effectively before one of them starts to suffer.

    At this point, though, I AM a momma to one black kitty named Samantha, and WILL be a momma to a 6 week old Pug named Fudge. We pick him up Saturday.
  12. by   kristi915
    Ya know, I had a huge long post here, but I just got stuck and couldn't go anywhere with it. So, short and simple:

    Since I am only 17, this may just be a plan that won't follow through. I do not plan on having kids, let me stress PLAN**stress,stress,stress......

    I don't plan on getting married until after I graduate college. Maybe once I get my associates degree (in accounting) then I'd get married, but who knows....I don't plan on having kids because I want to live my life. I don't feel it is selfish. I don't feel that I am emotionally ready to have kids.....(yes, i'm only 17)

    I do have some emotional problems, and physical health and weight problems. I'm kinda under weight right now, but in good health. (yes i know that it could change w/ time)

    I don't know, I just don't want to have kids.............that's that....
  13. by   kristi915
    OKAY...............HUGE brain cramp there.........wow.......
  14. by   JJFROG
    No kids here either. Enright, I know how you feel about covering maternity leaves and sick kid call-ins. Frustrating to say the least. When at one job I actually had a head nurse say to me "since you don't have children I need you to take call" ! But, I just think about all the nights I get to sleep though, sleeping in on my days off, going to movies whenever I feel like it, spontaneous trips with my husband and a "Barney free" video collection I am very satisfied. Like others have said, I am a great Auntie but way to selfish with my own time.

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