This has nothing to do with nursing- just venting personal BS. I am so angry that I am starting to feel insane.
Fiancee is drinking again. Not that he has EVER admitted that he has a prob but I guess since he drinks wine it is no biggie. But, he turns into a raving as*hol* and I just can't take it. Drinks a bottle a night- swears it is just like everyone else. I don't do that!
Lies, lies, lies! There was a female at his work- thank god she is gone now. I feel funny when he talks about her but do not know why. One day I call and the secretary says sorry he is out- who is this? I say who and she says, he's gone for a DRIVE with this woman. I ask him about it later and he lies to my face all evening until I tell him I know. Then suddenly I am the bad guy- "I was just driving her home" "you are over reacting", etc.
I am about 20-30 lbs overweight and this has always been a very sore issue for me. Fiancee swears he loves me and I look good, BUT:
He yells at me almost every time I eat anything, says how disgusting it is and makes faces. Makes me feel sooooooooo small. He could order pizza and call me disgusting if I have more than one slice as he polishes off an entire pizza!
This is making me feel so low, I end up eating in private to spite him and where does that get me? Nowhere!!!
Complains he has a hard life, he is so hard done by- I go to school, do laundry, take care of Brianna, take care of the bills, do homework, make meals, go to doctor's appointments and other appointments and get up every day before 7am 7 days a week with my daughter and NEVER get to sleep in and HE has it hard.
I am sorry for those that do not want too hear this but I need to vent to someone that does not know me. I hate getting family or friends involved. I am sooooooooo at the end of my rope and tired of feeling worthless. Did I mention the avid collection of porn that makes me feel bad too, but he does not care.
So close to throwing my ring as far as I can and running for dear life:angryfire
Only worry about my daughter and how she would feel. Wonder if there is a point where I should wory more about myself?