And Now......The Funniest Song(s) You've Ever Heard

  1. I don't know about anyone else, but I have a few select songs that just tickle my funny these:

    "Dead Skunk (In the Middle of the Road)" by Loudon Wainwright
    "They're Coming to Take Me Away"....don't remember who did this one, but anyone who grew up in the '60s and '70s should recognize this refrain ("They're coming to take me away, heehee, they're coming to take me away haha, heehee, hoho, to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be so happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HAHA!!!!!!")
    "Guitarzan" ("and his jungle band, they're all you can stand, give 'em a hand, Guitarzan!")
    "Tennessee Bird Walk" (all I can remember about this one is the line about a bunch of birds walking southward in their dirty underwear......well, it was funny when I was ten, anyway :imbar )
    Anything by Homer & Jethro.......these guys were around way back when, and they satirized country tunes, much like this version of "Mister Sandman":

    Mister Sandman, bring me a dream,
    The biggest nightmare that I've ever seen,
    Crackers in bed, she eats like a rabbit,
    And Mister Sandman it's a crummy habit!

    Red lips--I like a lot,
    One on the bottom and two on the top,
    You gave her a pretty face,
    Not a wrinkle is out of its place......

    Mister Sandman, she is a scream,
    The biggest nose holes that I've ever seen,
    Her great big flat feet, her hairs are all shorn,
    Her pigeon toes keep a-peckin' her corns!

    Sandman, get outta here,
    I'll take an aspirin, and you'll disappear,
    Can't you let me be,
    I'm not a guitar---stop pickin' on me!!

    And then, the funniest song I have ever heard in all my life, is none other than our national anthem, sung by some old guy who used to go to all the San Diego Padres baseball games back in the early '70s. Actually, he didn't sing it so much as he BELLOWED it.....loud, and way off-key!! He sounded like a wounded water buffalo. And you could hear him every single time: "O'er the RAM-PARTS we watched, were so GAL-LANT-LY streaming, AND THE ROCKETS RED GLARE!! The bombs BURSTING IN AIR!!" ad nauseam. I recorded him off the radio about 30 years ago, and if I ever need a horselaugh, I just pop that old cassette tape in the deck and play it loud.
  2. 79 Comments

  3. by   prettynred68
    "grandma got ran over by a reindeer"..............
  4. by   leslie :-D
    the south park boys (kyle,kartman,stan, kenny) come up w/some cute little vulgar jingles.
  5. by   dianah
    Oh yeah, anything by Ray Stevens!

    Someone did a "Twisted Christmas" CD (and a second one too, I believe) that is hilarious!
  6. by   iv_one
    Bob Rivers did those Twisted Christmas cd's.... i have 3 of them. One song that i got a kick out of was a remake of Shaggy's tune..... i think it was called "caught me one handed"....... referring to beatin his meat.
  7. by   dianah
    That's right, Bob Rivers! I don't recall liking ALL the songs on the CD but some were pretty funny!
  8. by   pickledpepperRN
    (Shel Silverstein)
    (On a Steve Goodman album. He wrote "City of New Orleans"

    Well now friends you'll never guess it so I really must confess it
    I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life
    But a friend of mine said "Buddy, just in case your mind is muddy
    Don't you know that girl you're fooling with is Peg-leg Johnson's wife.
    And that man is big and rough and mean and grim
    And he'll brain you with his artificial limb.

    But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-leg's girlie
    And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe
    But there weren't no time for laughter 'cause he started hopping after
    And I keep on running faster but he won't give up the chase.
    And I'm running through the mountain with his bride
    And I got his wooden leg here by my side.

    CHO: I'm a three legged man with a two-legged woman
    Being chased cross country by a one-legged fool.
    Though he's huffing and he's puffing and he shows no sign of stopping
    I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

    'Cross the deserts and the valleys and the dark Chicago alleys
    'Cross the mighty Mississippi to the hills of Caroline.
    Through the mountains of Montana and the swamps of Louisiana
    Everytime that I look back he's just one foot behind.
    And I know he must be cold and wet and sick
    But in spite of all his problems he can't kick.

    Now he's ragged and he's filthy and I'm feeling mighty guilty
    'Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg.
    He says "In spite of all your stealing friend, I bear you no hard feelings
    You can keep that darned old woman but please give me back my leg."
    'Cause although the one you meant to take was wooden
    In the dark by mistake you took my good'un.

    Copyright Shel Silverstein
    Last edit by pickledpepperRN on Jul 6, '04
  9. by   lovinghands
    Big Balls by ACDC (it was on the first 8-track I bought :chuckle )
    Bicycle by Queen - pretty much anything by Queen
  10. by   pickledpepperRN
    Written by Michelle Shocked
    When I grow up I want to be an old woman
    When I grow up I want to be an old woman
    Oh, an o-o-o-o-old, an old, old woman

    Then I think I'm gonna find myself an old man
    Then I think I'm gonna marry myself that old man
    An old, an old, an old, an old, a really old man

    We're gonna have a hundred and twenty babies
    A hundred and five, ten, fifteen, twenty babies
    Uh huh, that's what I said a hundred and twenty babies

    We'll raise 'em on tiger's milk and green bananas
    Mangoes and coconuts and watermelon
    We're gonna give 'em that watermelon when they starts yellin'

    Here's what they'll yell...

    In the summer we'll sit in a field and watch the sun melt
    In the winter we'll sit by a fire and watch the moon freeze
    Me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
    Me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
    I said, me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
    Oh, when I grow up I want to be an old woman
    When I grow up I want to be an oooooold...
  11. by   Saved_by_Grace
    Like a surgeon~Weird Al (Parody of Madonna's Like a Virgin)
  12. by   smk1
    Quote from prettynred68
    "grandma got ran over by a reindeer"..............

    cause i'm a blonde (yeah yeah yeah) julie brown (mtv vjay in the 80's)
    also everybody run/ the homecoming queen has got a gun -julie brown

    werid al songs

    pretty fly for a white guy- offspring

    because i got high- afroman (completely inappropriate song but if you heard it you would have to laugh, because it would be true!)
  13. by   smk1
    lyrics to the afroman song

    i was gonna clean my room until i got high
    i was gonna get up and find the broom, but then i got high
    my room is still messed up, and i know why yeah yeah
    because i got high
    because i got high
    because i got high
    i was gonna go to class before i got high
    i could've cheated and i could've passed, but then i got high
    i'm takin it next semester, and i know why hey hey
    because i got high
    because i got high
    because i got high
    i was gonna go to court before i got high
    i was gonna pay my child support, but then i got high
    they took my whole paycheck and i know why hey hey
    because i got high
    because i got high
    because i got high
    i messed up my entire life because i got high
    i lost my kids and wife because i got high
    now im sleepin on the side walk and i know why hey hey
    because i got high because i got high because i got high

    there are more lyrics but you get the gist. the song is pretty funny when you hear it. was a big hit a few years back.
  14. by   stevierae
    This song was called "Troglodyte." It was popular the summer of '72. It was spoken, not sung.


    What we're gonna do right here is go back, way back, back into time.
    When the only people that existed were troglodytes...cave men...
    cave women...Neanderthal...troglodytes. Let's take the average
    cave man at home, listening to his stereo. Sometimes he'd get up,
    try to do his thing. He'd begin to move, something like this:
    "". When he got tired of dancing alone, he'd look
    in the mirror: "Gotta find a woman gotta find a woman gotta find a
    woman gotta find a woman". He'd go down to the lake where all the
    woman would be swimming or washing clothes or something. He'd look
    around and just reach in and grab one. "Come here...come here".
    He'd grab her by the hair. You can't do that today, fellas, cause
    it might come off. You'd have a piece of hair in your hand and she'd
    be swimming away from you (ha-ha). This one woman just lay there,
    wet and frightened. He said: "Move...move". She got up. She was a
    big woman. BIG woman. Her name was Bertha. Bertha Butt. She was one
    of the Butt sisters. He didn't care. He looked up at her and said:
    "Sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me
    sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me!". She looked down on him.
    She was ready to crush him, but she began to like him. She said
    "I'll sock it to ya, Daddy". He said: "Wha?". She said (falsetto):
    "I'll sock it to ya, Daddy". You know what he said? He started it way
    back then. I wouldn't lie to you. When she said (falsetto)
    "I'll sock it to ya, Daddy" he said "Right on! Right on! Hotpants!
    Hotpants! Ugh...ugh...ugh".
    Last edit by stevierae on Jul 7, '04