Am wondering if my nephew is gay?

  1. If I wasn't such a coward I would ask him directly. He is fairly solid fellow and we always got on well. He is 36 and never married. He works in Las Vegas. About 10 years ago he had terrible falling out with his parents. Can't help but wonder if that is when they found out. Fortunately in the last year or two they have patched it up and he came home recently because his father had cabg. He attended two family functions since then with his "friend" George. When he was young he would occasionally bring a female to family functions. When I refered to her as his girl friend he pointedly said, "No auntie she is just a friend". His hobby is ethnic dancing, he belonged to a troop called Tamberitzans for long time. Tried to broach subject to my husband who is homophobic as them come and he had a fit. It does not really matter to me, what possible difference would it make to me. However, it would explain the rift with his family that was so deep there for a while. Things were so bad for a while his parents denied they had two sons. Only acknowledged his younger brother, grandparents were deeply disturbed and asking me about what was going on. I am a curious coward.
  2. 39 Comments

  3. by   PennyLane
    Hmmm...that sounds like he could be. It's really too bad his family is so unsupportive of him if that's the case. I hope he can find happiness. It really saddens me to hear of parents who disown their children after they come out. We really have so far to go as a tolerant society.
  4. by   Shamrock
    Ahhh, screw up the courage and ask. He can say one of three things, yes, no or mind your own business. Also probably
    would depend on how close you were/are to him too.
  5. by   nursenoelle
    I go to another BB, and there is a guy there that is having a really hard time with his family, to the point that he had once considered suicide. My heart aches for him. Just my 2 cents, but I would wait for him to come out.
  6. by   twarlik
    If he's bringing his "friend" to family functions, then it sounds like he's doing alright. I would bring my partner to family functions all the time and I never formally told a lot of my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins). I just assumed they would all figure it out after awhile. Truth is, most of them knew already.
    If you really want to know, then ask. Like I said, if he's willing to bring his b/f to family functions then he'll probably be honest with you. Of course, there is always the chance that he's not gay and that you'll end up offending him... Maybe you could approach the subject by asking about this friend of his. Maybe he'll end up coming out to you without you having to directly ask.
    Last edit by twarlik on Jul 7, '03
  7. by   Gomer
    As Ann Landers and Dear Abby used to say.....MYOB.
  8. by   passing thru
    Yeppers ! It sounds like he is to me.
    Especially bringing his "partner/friend" to family get-to-gethers. Isn't that the time-honored way to introduce that "special person" to the family?

    It' summertime Gomer. Now we have a few extra hours to contemplate such things. If the person is a member of the
    family, naturally the adults are going to be curious.
    Especially when the adult reaches a certain age and does not show an interest in the opposite sex.
    Ya start to wonder, "what's wrong with him?"
  9. by   ktwlpn
    Ya start to wonder, "what's wrong with him?">>>>>>>>>>>>> Ummm...In many areas of the country small minds still exist-but in other places a gay couple can become part of the community and live a rewarding life-while being accepted for the people that they are-not whom they sleep with....I would love my son just as much.Gay or straight-he would still be the same great person....
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I am just wondering. Why do you care? Not meant to be rude. but I have a bil who I suspect is gay. Maybe maybe not. I don't care. He is who he and his sexuality has nothing to do with it all. It's irrelevant and none of my business. Just love him for who he is, is all anyone can do.
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    Gay or not.
    It doesn't really matter.
    He is who he is.
    I think sometimes coming out to family is harder than with friends.
    Just be a good Uncle.
  12. by   Danamegg
    Also have a brother-in-law aged 48 who have been living with another man in the same house for over 20 years, never married, no girlfriends. If he would tell me he is gay, it would not change anything between us. It is his business, though I must admit I do wonder about it sometimes ......
  13. by   caroladybelle
    Please keep in mind.

    Just because someone is of a certain age and not married, does not mean that they are gay.
  14. by   itsme
    Whats the big deal if he is gay? Is it really any of yours or anyones business? Not to be rude, but really, why are you so "concerned"? If he brings people to family functions, does that automatically make you assume he is gay? That to me is sort of like asking him (if he brought a female) " so nephew, are you sleeping with her"? Like they said previously MYOB!!! Just be glad that he is happy, and dont worry about what he does in the privacy of his own home!