It takes alot for me to be vulnerable and message boards are no exception. But I need to vent.
Recently, while reading the local newspaper, I saw an add about a poetry contest. I hesitated and then thought "what the heck"? anyway, I submitted a very personal poem that I wrote.
When I went home for lunch, I received notice that the poem I submitted was selected for publishing and a possible prize. (not sure if it is a hoax or not, but all in all it seemed legit)
I was first of all surprised and then became excited, I have been told often that my talent is in writing and in words. So..... of course silly me, I began to believe it.
Well back to the vulnerable part, I ran in the house and shared with my SO the news. The relationship has been tense lately, so it took alot for me to share. (another story). anyway........ I'm sharing and talking fast and ask the question, "would you like to hear the poem"? And my SO said yeah, sure.
After I read the poem he says, and I quote " oh my God, they must have been desperate." AARRGGHHHH :angryfire I literally felt my heart break, and because of the tension lately, refused to allow this person to see the heartache I was experiencing. I am not sure why I have been so passive lately, but right at that moment, I left, and said to myself, "self, yea, maybe he is right" So I threw the letter away, and went on with my day. What an experience of mixed emotions.
Maybe I overreacted, and maybe I didn't react appropriately, I dunno? My heart hurts. And I knew I'd get a hug and support here. In comparison to the world these days, it seems like such a trivial thing, but it matters to me.
any thoughts? all thoughts welcome.