Ain't No Martha In The House !!!!!!!

  1. Star....this one's for you.....

    Here becomes the start of the worst Christmas wrapping stories thread !!!!!!

    Twas the night before Christmas and I sat on the floor
    Wrapping the presents I bought at the store.........
    The carols were playing, the tree it was lit
    and I unaware of the nightmare to hit.......

    I was enjoying everything about Christmas Eve that year....you see it was the first Christmas in 3 years I hadn't had a broken bone of some sort...(mostly due to grumpy horses)... So here I was, sipping on the eggnog, wrapping my presents, and singing loudly offkey to the carols on the radio.....life couldn't get better!
    Then there was a knock at the door, so as I stood I hung the empty bag with the paper waste on the back of the chair beside me. Hmmm...just a friend dropping off a little christmas toy for my cat.....harmless enough....
    Being the kindhearted and giving person I am I decided to let my cat have the toy as a Christmas Eve present he could play with early.....still pretty harmless (nobody would know I let him have it early)
    So back to sitting on the floor wrapping prezzies I went..... and things were going well....until suddenly my normally calm, lazy, pathetic cat turned into a maniacal ball of fur... launching himself at the bag I had carelessly hung on the back of the chair (it had a scrap of ribbon poking out)..... As if in slow motion the cat sprung from the back of the chair to me. I put my hand down on the ground to protect the present from being assaulted by the cat when suddenly the chair fell over and landed on my hand... thus breaking a bunch of bones in my hand and continuing my broken bone curse for another year !!!!!!!
    And as I have mentioned before..... I AM NOW A FIRM BELIEVER IN GIFT BAGS AND DOGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Enjoy the holidays !!!!!!

    ~live the life you love......love the life you live~
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   Stargazer
    See, I knew there was a reason I'm not a cat person..

    Thanks for sharing, vashka. I'd be all about the gift bags, too, if I were you.
  4. by   whipping girl in 07


    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has that kind of luck!
  5. by   emily_mom
    Cats are psycho!! Did you use therapeutic communication while talking to him about it?
  6. by   Mkue
    OMG,, that is a psycho CAT !
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    I thought all cats were psycho?

    Heather
  8. by   Lausana
    That's psycho!! But very "cat" I guess :chuckle I guess you'd better wrap in privacy this year!
  9. by   vashka25
    So NOBODY has any wrapping horror stories of their own???? C'mon folks.... there's got to be at least ONE ???..........

    **safe and happy holidays to all**
  10. by   VivaLasViejas
    My father was notorious for being a poor gift wrapper.....he just didn't get the technique. (I'm of the opinion that he did it badly just because he didn't enjoy the task.) One year he wrapped his gift to my mother, a toaster, and used an entire 40 sq. ft. roll of paper, plus half a roll of tape, in the process. The package looked so funny that we took it outside on Christmas morning and snapped a picture of it, which was later captioned "Splendor in the Grass".

    Then there was the Christmas Eve about 15 years ago when my husband and I were wrapping presents for the kids. Unbeknownst to us at the time, one of our cats had gotten into some ribbon and ingested it.......the result of which was presented to us on Christmas morning, under the tree, along with the gifts. There's nothing quite like a blob of slightly used cat food decorated with red-and-green plaid ribbon to get the festivities going.

    Fortunately for the cat, she managed to get rid of all of it, but the vet bill for this little misadventure was still being paid for long after the holidays were over.

    Needless to say, we don't use ribbons on the gifts any more!!
  11. by   JonRN
    When we were very poor, I used to take the colored comics from the Sunday paper and wrap the presents for the kids in them. I was a very poor wrapper too, like mjlrn97's Dad. Cats are so psycho, but sometimes they are very entertaining if no bones are broken in the process. Bubba our Manx loves to hide and then jump out and terrorize the dogs. What a nut!!!

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