Ah. Gotta Love that Holiday Visit with the Family

  1. Let's establish that things were great with my parents, stepgrandmother, and Aunt A and Uncle A.

    Rest of the family was another story.

    Starting with first thing Christmas Eve morning, stepgrandfather going out to get the newspaper. Comes back inside, leaves the front door WIDE open (like he always does, and there's no screendoor there). It's 25 degrees outside, 6 inches of snow on the ground. And about an hour prior, he had been griping about how high the heat bill is. I went over and shut the door, saying that closed doors might help bring the bill down. Got YELLED at by him, saying that had nothing to do with it. Ok...

    Stepgrandmother ("Grandma" was Dad's mom) was to get a bath early in the morning (she had a stroke 3 years ago), i was to dry and fix her hair, and do her makeup. Uncle A and Uncle D (both her sons) were to do with. Uncle D was griping (whining) that it wasn't "his turn" to do with, griped before, during and after this bath. Aside from being annoying, i can only imagine how SG felt hearing this. I doubt she likes having her kids to have to physically lift her and bathe her. Which i said this to Uncle D, out of the earshot of SG. Of course (i expected this) he says "well, what's your excuse? You're never here to even bathe her." Which i said "I live 4-5 hours away, while that's not an excuse for me not to, i do what i can while i'm here, yet you're 2 miles down the road and gripe about coming here twice a month to do this, and might i add that's the ONLY time you come here is when you HAVE to, meanwhile I visit more than you do! And i'm not even her kid!" So Uncle D storms out, Uncle A says "well, if someone else didn't say it, i would have" (Uncle A helps out a LOT, but when he asks Uncle D for help, he gets excuses).

    Anyway, i go back in the bathroom, blow dry and style SG's hair, applied face cream and body lotion, then me and stepmom put SG back in bed (a bath wears her out). SG private pay aide ("Karen") and her 13 year old daughter ("Heidi) stopped by to visit, or so i thought. Heidi proceeded to tell me and my stepmom that our clothes didn't match, and looked awful, did we even THINK about putting any makeup on or fixing our hair today, because y'all look awful?:angryfire Which i said "well let's see, we've been cleaning and all this other crap this morning, and we didn't have time to do either. But i think you're a little out of line with your opinion on our physical appearence, and i'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself" and i went in the other room, to find Karen helping herself to one of SG's Christmas sweaters and Christmas earrings. I asked "Did she say this is OK with her?" Karen said "Yes, she said i can borrow stuff." Hmm, ok. They left right after that.

    I took my shower and got cleaned up after that, then got SG up, fix her makeup, put on the day's outfit, and i asked her if she loans out her jewelry and clothes. She said "well, not really, Karen kinda helps herself to that stuff, as well as the tanning bed and lotion.":angryfire Well, the family meeting will be called then, cause since everyone contributes to the payment of this woman, i certainly don't want SG having someone to get paid to take someone for granted.


    We then went in the kitchen to fix some of the food for that evening, and Uncle A and Aunt A (Uncle's A's Wife) show up with their food. They immediately start pitching in with anything that needed done. Uncle C and Aunt C show up with their kids, brining the SAME taco dip they make for every get-together for the past 17 years, and all of them sit in the living room and flip the TV on. They all stayed on the couch the whole evening, didn't help with preparing food, didn't even wash their own dishes, just left them on the end table for "someone" to pick up. Next time, that won't happen.:angel2:

    Uncle D and "Aunt" D show up, take their seats on the loveseat. A little background on my practically non-extistant communication with Aunt D: she is Uncle D's second wife, as the result of an affair. It would typically be none of my business, but this happened while he was married to his first wife, even though they SWORE they were just friends, yet here that witch is, calling my then aunt at HOME and telling her things like "you might as well just leave him, he's going to leave you for me ANYWAY." Had i not been there in the house that day and heard her say it, i almost wouldn't have believed that someone would be that tacky and disrespectful (which is the reason why i'll never respect her). But once i met that fleuz, it was easy to figure out. This woman barely got by working as a gas station cashier, barely lived, but once she married my uncle (who makes a great living), she was able to quit and stay at home, buying Agner purses, $300 shoes, $200 jeans, and drinking champagne everyday. Then decided as a "hobby" (her words) to become a CNA, and works PRN in Home Health.

    Which brings me to the next incident lol. "Aunt" D was telling Aunt C about her job "as a nurse". I asked "oh when did you go to college." She says " I never did". I said "the nursing home trained you?". She said "Uh, yeah." I said "That makes you a CNA, not a NURSE. A nurse is an LPN or an RN, please don't continue to falsely represent youself to people. It IS against the law." She looked like she was ready to explode, told me she'd never speak to me again (oh DARN about that, ya tramp). I went back in the kitchen and helped to clean up, hugged and kissed parents and stepgrandparents, and went to bed.

    Next year ought to be a peach!:spin:
    Last edit by Marie_LPN, RN on Dec 26, '05
  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   Katnip
    Ahhh, family. Stories like yours make me thankful I don't have any to keep in touch with regularly.
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I live 2000 mi from mine FOR A REASON.
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Thing of it is, it's such a north-south issue to me. It's either i love and miss some so much that i'd like to move back, or the rest that i couldn't care less if i saw again.
  6. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    Marie, I'm sorry the visit had to go like that, but I'm glad you're gutsy enough to stand up for yourself and for your family. Hugs to you!!!:kiss
  7. by   live4today
    marie.....your "family post" had me rolling with laughter. :roll:chuckle thanks for the laughs!

    i have a sister that is a challenge to be around for too long. otherwise, when our family does get together......both close and extended family........we all have a grand ol' time. we laugh a lot as a family...i mean a lot!!!
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    My attitude is, let people be who they are and accept it. You can't change it---you know your integrity is intact and that is all that counts. Let the rest trip all over themselves, making asses out of themselves. The holidays often bring out the worst in some. The best in others. Spend your time around and interacting w/the best and leave the worst to their respective corners. Life is so short. I have learned slowly about these things, my family being a mess notwithstanding. Holidays were full of drunken rows and fights and even people not speaking to each other for 25, 30 years. HOW stupid. I prefer peace and tranquility at Christmas. Therefore, it's just the kids, dh and I at Christmas. I love it this way.

    Marie, hang in there. It's not easy to endure what you had to. Just know your "family" here will always listen when you need to vent.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    And you can always take the tack of humor and laugh at the stupidity of some while you are at it!!! Glass half full and all! (grin)
  10. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Our EVERY get together used to be like that..Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, New Years....etc.

    Now things are calm, everyone just has to bite their tongues. lol

    My sister is a lazy &(&*(&*( though! She didn't help cook or clean. My oldest sister and I were cooking the side dishes, and cleaning dishes as we went to keep things under control. We'd say something needs to be done, and my sister would walk out of the kitchen.

    When conversation got 'funny' she'd find herself back in the kitchen...just standing around. Then my oldest sister said something about needing the glasses filled with ice. Of course, my sister walked out of the kitchen!

    GRRRRRRRRRRR! I love my sister, but I can't stand her! We grew up so close, too...always together.

    Hopefully things will get better at your place too. I'm sorry your Christmas wasn't a great experience, but I guess we should be thankful we got to spend time with our family, pleasant or not.
  11. by   psychonurse
    Ahhh sounds soo familiar to me...I didn't spend Christmas with my family for 3 years after my mother passed away because of the way they act. They had me so stressed out with the money situation and wanting to buy all these things for all of them that I just quit going. I had to work my way back in with my niece and nephew and now the whole family and I get along..like when I was over there on Christmas eve and they asked me what I was doing on New Years and they insisted on taking me out to dinner on my birthday (my 50th no less) in two weeks. So right now things are looking up with us
  12. by   prmenrs
    I know you're trying to vent, Marie, and I really do empathize w/you [], but I was reading what you wrote---and laughing the whole time. Very funny. Funnier after than during!
  13. by   Catsmeow
    Thanks Marie, glad I'm not the only one venting/grumping today. lol

  14. by   hbncns35
    She came in and took over....................leaving my house a MESS which I once again had to clean up again after she FINALLY Left. Started out this morning about 10am. She said "I think we'll leave around 12noon. Well 12noon came and went. She wanted to eat AGAIN. She reached for the plates (the one's I just washed) and I said, "Would you mind using paper plates for lunch? She didn't even ask me what we should have for lunch, she just helped herself to the refrigerator and started using what we had last nite. I gave her plastic cups and she just got enough for her husband and her and not for the rest of us. (four others) So half way through the meal that she had prepared, she says, Oh I really want a piece of that cake we had last nite. I said "Well I kind of wanted to save that for us since it is pretty special (it was made after our wedding cake) and I wanted dh and I to have the rest (1/4). She didn't say anything for about five minutes then brought it up two more times - "I want cake" PLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAASSSEE!
    So I gave her most of what we had left for her and her husband!!!

    After dinner last nite, She did not help me do the dishes. I ended up doing dishes for 10 this morning plus the breakfast dishes she accumulated while I was taking a shower. Never had breakfast this morning but when I saw her this morning She said "I made coffee!!" I went to pour a cup and there were more grounds floating than coffee. More mess to clean up!!

    Later as I was trying to help her get her**s out of there, she said I'm not leaving until I get my Pictures!!!I've waited 7 mos. for them(wedding pics) and I want them now!!! I asked her how many she wanted and she said, Oh just 30. Well I told her it would take us a couple of hours to do all that on our computer because the frames have to be resized. She's so cheap she wants us to do them for her on our paper and our time. She even wanted us to go to our local store and have them printed and then send them to her in NY. We will probably enter her zipcode at HER store in NY and she can pick them up herself.

    When she arrived, she brought her usual 20gallon cooler with her own food in it (like we hadn't bought enough-$280 worth). Then she proceeds to rearrange our refrigerator with her food - half eaten oranges, lemons, grapefruits, milk, oj, tea- Everything I already had...now I have double - She doesn't even ask- she just takes over!

    Then she takes my 7 mos. old puppy outside with her mammoth collie for a "run" out back and she comes in and says "Where's your leash? Your dog ran off! I told her that my dog goes out with a leash ONLY!! I told her this more than once and she continually did this putting my dog at risk for getting run over(street in front of house) Then her dog attacked mine and she says "Oh they are only playing, he would never hurt your dog." UGGGHH!!

    They finally left 5 1/2 hours after they decided they were leaving....
    I am so glad this HOLIDAY is OVER!!!!! Now maybe we can dodge her visits for a couple of months.........................Don't get me wrong, I like my new family but there are TIMES its just TOO MUCH!!!!!!
    I really don't know how my husband came from that Family???!!!!!
    Hard to Believe..........................Heather