Again. This never seems to end.
Only getting worse and I can't seem to take it anymore. My mom and I went to his place and it was the filthiest I have ever seen; my dad was covered with bruises and cuts and scrapes, there was stool on his clothing and emesis on his bathroom rugs - for who knows how long. We cleaned up a bit and I took the rugs home to be cleaned.
My father has no food, as apparently his food stamp amount has been cut to $50 a month because he owns a car.....I haven't researched this but I wouldn't be surprised if it were true. So I went grocery shopping for him.
He is drinking again, and taking ativan. We found 9 liters of vodka in the trash.
The doc gives him 1 year. I feel like I should spend all this time with him because he is dying, but at the same time, I can't stand to see him like this.
My mom joined Al-Anon and I bought a book from them which somewhat helps...but not enough. I want this pain to end. And when I think of the pain HE must be in, I can't take it. I am barely finishing my statistics course and school starts again in 3 weeks.
I know I have talked about this before and it gets old, but this particular day I felt overwhelmed and needed to get this out.
This is by far the hardest thing I have had to endure.