i can't say i totally know the feeling, but i've got my own personal experience with an idiot.
my now 14 yr old didn't even know what child support was until she was in 7th grade. a friend mentioned about her dad paying c.s., in sixth grade, and my dd didn't know what she was talking about. it wasn't until the next year (7th grade) that her bio-idiot boasted about paying c.s. she came home and asked what c.s. was.
so, i told her the whole story, about how he hardly paid for most of her life. yes he was paying then, but had only been paying steadily for a year.
not once did i tell her that he was supposed to pay, not once did i tell her that he wasn't or that he was paying. i didn't bring her into the 'crap'...the bio-idiot did.
he is only supposed to pay $180/month. he got all the way up to $20,000 owed to me before he landed a 'real' job, and he got 'caught'. they started taking the monthly c.s. out, plus interest each month. he never would get insurance on her.
several years of him paying, he told me he "would not" get insurance on her because her last name wasn't the same as his...said it would be insurance fraud....that idiotic thought must have come from his mom.
anyway, i put in for a review of his case because i had not done that ever, even when he wasn't paying for 10 years!
what did he do? he quit his job! yes! he went and quit a good job that he had for about 5 years! the review didn't go through b/c he has no source of income (yeah right), but he's still accruing more. i sure hope he doesn't think he'll have to stop paying when she turns 18! think again! he will still be responsible for the back child support, and interest on the total amount of back child support....which will probably be $20,000 at least....
to top it all off, he had the audacity to tell me that i needed to sign off for the back child support! no freakin' way! ....it wasn't, "will you please?" or "i'm having a hard time, would you consider...?" nope! it was "you need to sign off for the back child support!" h*ll no!
my child can't stand him now. yes, she loves him, but can't stand *him*. she calls over to talk to her 2 brothers, who by the way now live with only their mom b/c they recently split up.
as far as his loans, i think that he wouldn't get them. i'm not sure if anything would be given to you, or if he just won't be approved for them anymore.
as far as being arrested, yes, people do, but it has to be passed certain other "slaps on the wrist." dl gets suspended, checks get taken, income tax check gets taken, etc....
the last check i received from the bio-idiot was 8-1, and i think that was his income tax check....it had been almost 3 months before that since he quit his job.
hmmm, it's been 3 months now, i'm going to call the attorney general's office to see what they are doing about it.
it's really a catch-22. the money helps, but you can't rely on it. we always budget without it, and if it came in, we had extra....
good luck to you, and i'm really sorry you are having to go through with this.
anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy.
(of course, not many of them are "daddys".)