Advice for the Lovelorn

  1. I thought I'd start a thread for those of us who want or need advice on matters of the heart. Sometimes it helps to get advice from your friends even if it's across cyber lines.

    Me, my heart is heavy, but not quite ready to start off with my woes, so... how about you? What advice would you like?

    And guys, please, please, please feel free to participate, in fact, we love male perspectives! :kiss

    Come and let us delve into the mysteries of love TOGETHER...
    •  
  2. 35 Comments

  3. by   live4today
    Dear Mother Mary Vegas

    I was wondering if you could help me with my love life. You see...hubby comes home from work...talks a mile a minute...woofs down dinner...winks at me like he wants 'IT', but is too tired to stay awake long enough to get 'IT'. Within a matter of seconds....he and the dog are snoring loudly on the sofa with the television blaring.

    I return to either watching television in the bedroom, talking on the phone, or as usual...feeling a bit forlorn in front of all 21,000 of my allnurses sistas and bruthas.

    What can I do to WAKE THE MAN UP to play with me???
    I've tried pouncing on him, "playing" with him in ways I shouldn't mention here, but you'll know what I mean...massaging unquestionable parts...but...does he respond? The body parts do, but he doesn't. He keeps right on snoring like nothing is going on. Sometimes, I take advantage of the moment...but I'd prefer he remember it all. What advice could you give me, Mother Mary Vegas? I await your wisdom.... :kiss

    Tearfully,
    Cheerfully me...
  4. by   LasVegasRN
    Dear Tearfully,

    Are you kidding? I haven't had any measurable sex for over a year. (Don't ask me to define "measurable). I wish I could answer your question but I truly live in the DESERT out here. Heck, if I had any recollection of sex I'd say make a run for the border and get some spanish fly. Spike his drink with Viagra. Give him extra butter. Hell, I don't know.

    Where are the other advice givers? Tearful needs help. All I can do is review porno tapes at this point. "I give Perky Patti does Dallas two dildos up, Roger".
  5. by   researchrabbit
    Renee, maybe you ought to haul him into the bedroom for "dinner" (and have some supper in bed afterwards?)

    Vegas, you are too cute. Guys in Nevada must be idiots!
  6. by   nursegoodguy
    monogamy or polyamory...
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by nursegoodguy
    polyamory...
    Is that a word? Did you mean polygamy, darling? Or is that one of those beautiful italian words you speak?

    Heather
  8. by   shygirl
    Renee,

    How about having him meet you out for dinner. Play with his feet under the table, flirt with him, etc.
    After dinner don't go home, go to a hotel for the night. Have a room with a jacuzzi and plenty of wine!
    Dance for him

    Good-Luck
  9. by   donmurray
    From a male perspective, Researchrabbit is right, you should only feed him after he has earned it!
  10. by   live4today
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    Dear Tearfully,

    Are you kidding? I haven't had any measurable sex for over a year. (Don't ask me to define "measurable). I wish I could answer your question but I truly live in the DESERT out here. Heck, if I had any recollection of sex I'd say make a run for the border and get some spanish fly. Spike his drink with Viagra. Give him extra butter. Hell, I don't know.

    Where are the other advice givers? Tearful needs help. All I can do is review porno tapes at this point. "I give Perky Patti does Dallas two dildos up, Roger".


    Can't give a man Viagra if he doesn't have trouble "gettin' it up", girlfriend. Viagra is for the man "who wants it", but "can't get it up to get it".
  11. by   live4today
    originally posted by shygirl
    renee,

    how about having him meet you out for dinner. play with his feet under the table, flirt with him, etc.
    after dinner don't go home, go to a hotel for the night. have a room with a jacuzzi and plenty of wine!
    dance for him

    good-luck
    now i like that idea!!! i'm on it girlfriend!!! :kiss
  12. by   live4today
    Originally posted by donmurray
    From a male perspective, Researchrabbit is right, you should only feed him after he has earned it!
    Hmmmmmmm....I seeeeee...a little "Behavior Modification" Plan, eh??? Will try this too! Tonight even! :kiss
  13. by   live4today
    Originally posted by nursegoodguy
    monogamy or polyamory...
    Are you suggesting that I CHEAT on said spouse???
    Why...why...I couldn't do that! I mean....what if I get caught or CATCH something I don't want to keep for LIFE!!!
  14. by   LasVegasRN
    Okay, here's my question for all you love guru's.

    Would it be a bad thing to get a boy toy? Just someone to scratch the occasional itch with no commitment or anything? My warped thinking tells me it would keep me preoccupied and stop me from worrying about becoming an old dried up spinster that nobody wants. Or, should I continue to live a life of solitude with the hopes of some one crossing my path one day? Yes, I still get out and socialize, but nothing is happening.

    Thoughts, please. There's a 19 year old itch scratcher waiting for my answer (I like to refer to him as "chocolate thunder" ).

close