I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at
mark's Christmas party. It was shawn who
spiked the punch with too much whisky. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It
was so good---smelled and tasted just like
I thought it was funny when I put michelle's
thong on my head and danced the tango on
the lazyboy chair while singing `wide open
spaces'. I didn't mean to break mark's
electric mixer and don't know why mark
would sue me for removing the do not
remove tag from a mattress.
I don't remember calling darren's wife a
pale piglet---even though she looked like
one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on sabrina's
husband's toe, it was only because I ate too
much of that taco.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little
tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and
drove my vw beetle through my neighbor's
attic. I don't think that was any reason for
my neighbor to call me a big kitty cat and
have me arrested for petty theft under
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on
Christmas Eve, all hot and shiny. And I'm
really not to blame for any of this rough
stuff. Please bring me what I want the
Sincerely and teasingly yours,
wendy (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 69 bucks!
see I'm all shiny from the damn sparkles in my frickin body lotion!