Actual Label Instructions on Consumer Goods

  1. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as
    possible:

    On Sears hairdryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.
    (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary.
    Details inside.
    (The shoplifter special!)

    On a bar of Dove soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
    (and that would be how?)

    On some Swann frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.
    (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

    On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.
    (The big one or the little one?)

    On desserts: (printed on box bottom):
    Do not turn upside down.
    (Too late! You lose!)

    On Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
    (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

    On packaging for a iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
    (But wouldn't that save more time?)
    (And whose body?)

    On Children's cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction if we just
    kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

    On Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.
    (One would hope!)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
    (As opposed to use in outer space.)

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
    (Hmm, now I'm curious.)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.
    (but no peas?)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    (have lobotomy)


    On a child's Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   HannasMom
    Oh it feels good to laugh!
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from HannasMom
    Oh it feels good to laugh!
    Laugh away, girl. It tickles your soul.
  5. by   Roy Fokker
    More than the warnings themselves, the comments are a riot! LMAO!

    There's a brand of asprin that's marketed back home as a headache-relief medicine. One of the side effects listed?

    You got it - headaches!
  6. by   Roy Fokker
    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    (have lobotomy)
    I fell off the chair when I read that one.

    Short. Simple. Sweet!
  7. by   Thunderwolf
    It amazes me that "someone in the packaging dept thought" that folks needed that little extra direction. What does that say about that person in packing?...that, maybe, he/she needs to "think about this a little more" himself/herself....Duhh. Folks aren't THAT simple minded...or are they? Jeeeze, what is the world coming to?


    But, it did make me chuckle!
    Last edit by Thunderwolf on Jan 10, '05
  8. by   VivaLasViejas
    You know why they HAVE those ridiculous warnings on things, don't you? It's because somehow, somewhere, at some point in time, some dip-wad actually DID what they're warning against, sued the company, and made a fortune. :angryfire

    Stupid people with money........doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart.
  9. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from mjlrn97
    You know why they HAVE those ridiculous warnings on things, don't you? It's because somehow, somewhere, at some point in time, some dip-wad actually DID what they're warning against, sued the company, and made a fortune. :angryfire

    Stupid people with money........doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart.

    Yep, unfortunately you are right. I've met some of them.

    steph
  10. by   General E. Speaking, RN
    Quote from mjlrn97
    You know why they HAVE those ridiculous warnings on things, don't you? It's because somehow, somewhere, at some point in time, some dip-wad actually DID what they're warning against, sued the company, and made a fortune. :angryfire

    Stupid people with money........doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart.

    yep, here's to tort reform

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