Aaarrrggghhh!!!!

  1. I am so angry right now!
    My husband is such a spoiled brat! He follows me from room to room just to see what I am doing, good Lord forbid if I am ever on the computer when he gets home, he wants me to do my homework in bed, so he can lay on me...who can study while he's snoring? If I don't, he pouts...
    Like this AM. We're having trouble with my car. Hubby asked exactly what was giong on with it and he thought maybe he could figure it out. I said, "Hon, nothing intended, but I can't even get you to put oil in my car, much less have you drive my car to figure out what's wrong." (He's mechanically challenged---with everything!) He got an attitude and came home whining and complaining about how I don't have to see him do everything in order to believe he's done it and why do I treat him like that? He was pouting about it until he decided he wanted an arguement.
    I am so tired of his constant whining and complaining about everything! If something doesn't go his way, he has to come up with an excuse as to why it's not his fault and how wrong I am. He carries stuff to the extreme and wonders why his family is falling apart.
    I've asked him if he wants to go to a marriage counselor, and he says only if it's his choice. His choice is his best friend who believes women should walk behind a man anyway....I won't go.
    He spends money left and right and we are so behind in our bills bnow that it's pathetic....now he knows I am going to go test for my LPN, he's decided he wants a motorcycle and a boat, and who knows what else? And when I say something to him about it, he complains about how I never spoil him, but he's always spoiling me....I want to pay off bills and buy my children some things.....
    Sorry~just venting......having a really hard time dealing with marriage to a baby. No, not a baby, a clinging vine.......
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  2. 43 Comments

  3. by   oramar
    Sounds like you got a baby there that needs attention.
  4. by   Gator,SN
    ((((((((((Julie))))))))))) Sorry that you are having a rough time right now! I hope that everything gets better! Until then....hugs to you and good luck with the upcoming exam!!!!!!!!!:kiss

    Gator
  5. by   ptnurse
    Sorry you are having a hard time. It's just such a difficult time to deal with this when you are already stressed over your lpn testing. We are happy to listen anytime. Maybe you should find a neutral counselor. If he won't go to anyone but his friend, go by yourself. If nothing else, it will increase you base of support.
  6. by   RNinICU
    Julie, counseling with someone neutral sounds like a good idea. If his friend is professional, he would refuse to accept you and your husband as clients anyway. Go by yourself, and maybe he will agree to go later when he sees that it has made a difference. If money is a problem, see if your hospital has an employee assistance program. These programs are usually free, and confidential. Only you know if this is a temporary situation brought on by the stress of school and your test, or whether it's a pattern of behavior that will not change. Either way, counseling should help you, even if he does not go Good Luck.:kiss
  7. by   JailRN
    I suppse a spanking would be out of the question??
  8. by   GPatty
    I wish....with a BIG bat!
  9. by   BadBird
    He sounds like my ex, get it ex!! Mabey he sould be your ex too.
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Sounds like you are having that "Do I have to hit the ball and drag you around the bases?" feeling.

    I'm with RNinICU, hope you can try the counseling. If that doesn't work, I'm with JailRN. A spanking is in order.
  11. by   prn nurse
    When I was in LPN school (before rn school natch), I had 3-4 friends who acted like my going to school was the greatest thing they ever heard of.
    The closer it got to graduation the more intrusive they became...I couldn't study, etc.
    The night before boards, they phoned me with breathtaking urgent news ! One of the couples had had a fight and one had knifed the other, and GET TO THE ER AS FAST AS YOU CAN !!
    (The prior 2 weeks had been about the same.) I ignored the whole bunch and finally figured out they weren't my friends.
    The reason for their shenanigans?? I think they didn't want "to lose me" from their circle of pals. Nursing was going to make too great an impact on my life and alter our previous bonds.

    Any chance there is some of this going on with your spouse? Is he jealous of the time nursing study takes you away from him and his activities? Concerned of the change in you and in your all's relationship due to your career? Being a nurse does and will impact the relationship. It redefines us.
    Maybe you were more fun , more impulsive BEFORE.
    Advice.... Watch your birth control...no "surprises" there
    until everything settles.

    Stay focused on school and boards. You can hash everything out later. It's good to know if a separation should ever occur, you've got a means to support yourself in your hand.

    Good Luck.
  12. by   CATHYW
    originally posted by prn nurse

    any chance there is some of this going on with your spouse? is he jealous of the time nursing study takes you away from him and his activities? concerned of the change in you and in your all's relationship due to your career? being a nurse does and will impact the relationship. it redefines us.
    maybe you were more fun , more impulsive before.
    advice.... watch your birth control...no "surprises" there
    until everything settles.

    stay focused on school and boards. you can hash everything out later. it's good to know if a separation should ever occur, you've got a means to support yourself in your hand.

    good luck.
    i agree with prn. it might be much like a spouse trying to subconsciously sabotage you on a diet. if you are successful with the job, or the diet, you might leave them, and they feel very threatened. on the other hand, being married to a bipolar man, i wonder if your husband might (at least!) be dysthymic, or possibly bipolar. hang in there with your studies. lock yourself in the bathroom and study in the tub, if you have to-i did! :d
  13. by   nursegoodguy
    Concentrate on your nursing boards!
    Keep in mind the more money you make the more (it sounds like) he will want to spend...
  14. by   GPatty
    Exactly Giuseppe...that's the deal. I guess he figures since he's paid most of the bills thru my schooling, that I owe him something? NOT!
    And if I did lock myself in the bathroom to study....why bother? He'd just come in anyway! Then, the whining and pouting would start about how he is always giving in order to let me study, and why do I have to be away from him? *SIGH*
    I know exactly what he would say before he even says it...isn't that sad?
    I am so jealous of all of you who have such "real" spouses....who don't cling and make you feel responsible for every little move you make.....
    and laughter together.....that's stopped too....now it's all whining and complaining....
    No wonder I'm so sour anymore
    I'm turning into a B****!

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