A Parents Night Before Christmas

  1. 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
    I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
    Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
    In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

    The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
    While Dad and I faced the evening with dread.
    A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
    And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

    We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat...
    Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
    Too late for last minute returns or replacement;
    If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

    When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
    But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
    With each part numbered and every slot named,
    So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

    More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
    All over the carpet they were scattered about.
    "Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
    Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
    Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
    "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

    And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
    That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
    To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
    With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

    We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
    Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
    The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin.
    Before we attached the last rod and last pin.

    Then laying the tools away in the chest,
    We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
    But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
    "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

    Tommorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
    And not have to run the the store for a thing!
    We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
    For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

    Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
    Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
    I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!

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    About ptnurse

    Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 519; Likes: 2
    Part-time RN


  3. by   renerian
    I remember those days. Now my kids are older. Enjoy the holidays.

  4. by   NurseShell
    We don't buy anything with "some assembly required" written on the box anymore!! Too many fights over how to put things together...I read directions/he doesn't!!! He calls them "dumbstructions" since any dummy can figure it out without reading them!! Man!!

    Merry Christmas!
  5. by   kids
    My husband reads the instructions (I don't, I 'm the rebel).
    But I always have enough batteries in the house to jump start a semi truck.
  6. by   Gator,SN
    Yep! It's 3:45 am....sounds just like my night!
    Merry Christmas!