OMG, I can tell you some stories about my dtr!!
In the middle school, our conferences are optional now, and I don't go anymore, b/c all I hear is "Kristy is too focued on her socializing" "kisty talks to her friends in class and is disruptive." "Kristy is rude" blah blah blah
I got soooo sick of it, I met w the vice principal and told her LOOK, she is ten years old, and all she does is talk, it is non-stop at home, and if I knew the magic button to turn it off, trust me I would.
I am a nurse, and I understand this is a normal stage of her development. I would think that educated professionals should know this and have a better way of being able to control their classroom.
One of her teachers accused her of lying that she got the spelling
packet. She didn't. Another student passed them out, and when she ran out before Kristy got one, she told the teacher she didn't get one, he called her a liar in front n of the class, and out her in a seat by herself at the back of the room, all the other desks were in groups.
I BLEW my stack Deneen!! I called the teacher, got his voice mail and said Look, do I really have to report you again to the prinicipal? Do I have to come down to that school and interrupt your class? Because I WILL. NOW, you GIVE my dtr the spelling packet and you better move her seat back into a group, you can put her w people she doesn't like to talk to, but don't you DARE ever humiliate my dtr like that ever again!!!
She went to school, that basta*d took the spelling packet and scotch-taped it to her desk, placving the tapes on the edges of the 8.5x11 papers so that they even wwnt over the edges of the desk, like she was so careless or stupid she wouldn't be trusted ot have the packet handed to her. I mean does that just tell you what kind of moron I was dealing with??
Sometimes you just have to bypass them. VegaS, emabarass them, ask the PRICIPAL what kind of training and inservicng the teachers go through. Ask if they studies growth and development in school. Ask if they have to take child psych? Look up you Piaget and erikson, I did, I quoted it to them stating how they were interfering with my dtr's sense of industry vs whatever it was. I made them look like a bunch of incompetent asses, just by using calm and professional observations. Ask how they deal with other children who have had the same issues. Ask them to have the guidance counseler spend some time w Emma, she could be responding to the change in your job, or something actually AT the school. My dtr;s school had great guidance counselors. They have a little thing called the lunch bunch, and it would be four kids, usually friends or known to each other who meet w the counselor for lunch, and she just did a ditty on a topic like self-esteem, and they talked about it as a rap session. When they called me about Kristy, I always directed them to have her meet w the guidance counselor.They knew her, really got to know her, and it really helped.
Now go tell Emma you are sorry you lost your patience. Yes I have spanked my kids, but I always felt bad later and apologized. Kiss and make-up. One thing I learned is to trust what my dtr has told me. I have over time caught a few people exaggerating or lying aboutb her behavior, and I am ashamed that prior to that, I did not always believe her when I should have. Just talk to her, and explain to her on her level that mommy cannot leave work, or you willl have a problem at work, and you need the job to buy food clothes and ________(whatever it is she likes.) Ask her why she did not listen to the teacher when she asked to have the broom back. Ask her if she was not allowed to be in school, where does she think she would go while you worked. Take away her privelages for something fun she likes to do for the weekend. But, if you really drill her carefully in a non-threatenoing way, I bet you will be surprised what she will tell you. There are some real problem teachers out there. But, lest we forget, it is always the parent's fault of course!!