A major dilemma-long story so forgive me now

  1. I am not one to usually air my dirty laundry, but I am facing a major dilemma, but I am at a loss for anyone to talk to about this, because most of my friends really wouldn't understand.

    My fiance and I broke up shortly after christmas, after two years of fighting and heartache. We split on amicable terms, realizing that we were better off as friends.

    So, for the past three months, I have been out on a few dates, but nothing really interesting. But, about a month ago, some of my friends and I went out, and I ran into a old "friend"--we talked and had a few drinks together, and then went our seperate ways after exchanging numbers.

    Well, we started talking and hanging out, and one thing led to another...

    I know that first and foremost I made a BAD judgement call, and obviously wasn't thinking with my brain. Now I am three weeks late and at a loss for what to do. I know that this person has no desire to step up and be a father. And I really don't know if I am physically or emotionally ready to raise another child by myself.

    If y'all could send me some prayers and words of insight I would be forever in your debt.
  2. 29 Comments

  3. by   dianah
    I have no words of insight, can only offer prayers. Some decisions one must make by oneself. I pray you will look deep into your heart and do what is right for you.
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    This begs one basic question: have you made an appt. at Planned Parenthood or with your doctor to confirm what you suspect is a pregnancy??? If not, that seems, to me, anyhow, a LOGICAL first step. You need to know if or if not you are dealing with a pregnancy before possible decisions regarding what to do about it pop into your head.

    I won't even TRY to talk about which way you might go; you know what you can or cannot do but I do suggest some form of counseling IF you do turn out to be pregnant.

    You are certainly NOT the first woman to find herself in this position, and you won't be the last. Right now, you are operating on assumption, not fact. When you get the facts, IF you are NOT about to consider abortion, then perhaps a crisis pregnancy center would be your next stop. I am NOT advocating FOR or AGAINST termination; that obviously is up to you. But between Planned Parenthood or a Crisis Pregnancy Center, you can receive some very good counseling, support and help with your decision process and any aftercare you might need.

    Emotionally, you have work to do, also. The breakup of your relationship hit you hard. I feel for you; if you are having difficulties with this, counseling may help you there, too. It sometimes helps just to go once or twice, air it out and get another perspective. You can do this with friends, too, but objectivity is sometimes lost when you do.

    I am so sorry for the fix you *may* be in..... and all the feelings you are having. I wish you the best, whatever happens, and I mean it. No judgement here, just well wishes and hopes you can work things out for yourself. HANG IN THERE and GET THAT PREGNANCY TEST----you may be LATE due to STRESS, not pregnancy!

    GREAT BIG HUGS!!! If you feel inclined, please let us know how you are doing, whatever happens next.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Mar 14, '04
  5. by   dianah
    Great post, SmilingBluEyes, with good advice.
  6. by   MelRN13
    Thanks Deb, I had already planned on calling my ob/gyn tomorrow and making an appointment for this week...I know that I shouldn't assume the worst, but I am a pessimist by nature. I'll keep you updated.
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Melissa, what ever happens, hang in there and make NO rash decisions ok? Really think things thru carefully. HUGS...I do wish you well.
  8. by   Jennerizer
    Have you taken an OTC pregnancy test? That's what I'd be doing.
  9. by   warrior woman
    If you need a shoulder PM me. Let us know what happens. We will listen and not judge any decision you may make. We love and care about you Melissa. Here's wishing you peace with what you decide to do. (((gentle hugs)))
  10. by   nekhismom
    No words of wisdom, I think SBE said all I could think of already. Just lending you my support if it can be of any help. Take care.
  11. by   mattsmom81
    Sending good thoughts your way and agree with Deb's advice 100%...take care of yourself and the rest will follow.
  12. by   oceanblue
    Thoughts & prayers are sent your way, Let us know how the pregnancy test turns out, best of luck in whatever you decide, no judgement here either, you have to do what is best for you. :kiss
  13. by   Nurse Ratched
    Hoping everything turns out as you need it to. PM me if you need anything.
  14. by   MelRN13

    Two home pg tests were positive.