A joke... cause I'm bored.

  1. Bit off color, but then most of my jokes are.

    Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow ended in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
    POOF! In a flash and a puff of smoke, a little old lady appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took for me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything for
    the rest of your life!";
    POOF!...she was gone.

    After Harry calmed down, he hollered for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

    Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the ***** willows."

    Harry screams back...."DON'T SWING, FRED!!!!" "For God's sake, DON'T SWING!!"

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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   LasVegasRN
    Hee! I like that one! :chuckle :roll
  4. by   delirium
    DIFFICULT WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK.

    Specificity
    Indubitably
    Innovative
    Preliminary
    Proliferation
    Cinnamon
    British Constitution

    IMPOSSIBLE WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK

    Thanks, but I don't want to go home with you.
    No, I don't want another drink.
    No kebab for me thank you.
    Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
    Good evening officer
    I'm not interested in fighting you.
    No one wants to hear me sing.



  5. by   sunnygirl272
    [font=courier new]oh my god!!! did you guys hear the latest!??!?!?
  6. by   LasVegasRN
    What? Good lord, you scared me! What is it??!!??
  7. by   delirium
    originally posted by sunnygirl272
    [font=courier new]oh my god!!! did you guys hear the latest!??!?!?
    she's quite a sensationalist, isn't she?

  8. by   LasVegasRN
    Well touch me in the morning and then just walk away. WHAT IS IT???
  9. by   kittyw
    Where'd she go?? Just as I'm about to walk out the door ... don't keep me hanging!


    Love the joke! :chuckle
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Now, she of all people should know the rules. If you say something and don't finish it, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING UP!!

    I'm giving her 15 minutes......
  11. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    <scratches head>

    She's not even signed on anymore?

    LUUUUV the ***** willow joke!

    Heather
  12. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    Now, she of all people should know the rules. If you say something and don't finish it, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING UP!!

    I'm giving her 15 minutes......
    that's the idea...
  13. by   delirium
    originally posted by sunnygirl272
    [font=courier new]oh my god!!! did you guys hear the latest!??!?!?
    purp is gettin' it on with her psych nursing instructor! hubba hubba!

  14. by   misti_z
    Originally posted by MsPurp
    Purp is gettin' it on with her psych nursing instructor! Hubba hubba!
    ..........as the chemisty teacher, who is known to be a bit freakish, is walking toward the door.

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