A Few Points To Ponder

  1. 1. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

    2. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,

    3. A husband is someone who, after taking out the trash, gives the
    impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

    4. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines and a large trash can.

    5. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
    I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

    6. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
    and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies
    could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will?
    What will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite!"

    7. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point
    the wrong way.

    8 . I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
    clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
    in the first place!

    9. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping." Now I just "chunky
    dunk."

    10. The early bird still has to eat worms.

    11. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

    12. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
    difference.

    13. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

    14. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

    15. My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she
    said.

    16. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
    in prison?

    17. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
    with something called labor.

    18. Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.





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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   nurseygrrl
    Quote from Frances LeMay
    3. A husband is someone who, after taking out the trash, gives the mpression that he just cleaned the whole house.


    Quote from Frances LeMay
    4. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines and a large trash can..
    Ohhhhhh...wouldn't that be heaven?
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    "16. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
    in prison?"



    I'd love to know the answer to that one myself.

    When my little cousin took a book to school for "Reading Hour Friday" (kids pick out any book they want, bring it in to read for an hour), he chose one of those blue Bible Story books. A big stink was raised over that. Heck all he did was chose a book to read, and read it quietly, it wasn't like he hopped on a desk and read alound from it. But soon as the teacher saw it, she called the principal and my cousin's mom.

    So of course, being 7 years old, he asks "Mommy why do they not like my book? Why am i getting in trouble for my book? They act like my book is a bad book".
  5. by   FranEMTnurse
    How Very Sad!
  6. by   nurseygrrl
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    When my little cousin took a book to school for "Reading Hour Friday" (kids pick out any book they want, bring it in to read for an hour), he chose one of those blue Bible Story books. A big stink was raised over that. Heck all he did was chose a book to read, and read it quietly, it wasn't like he hopped on a desk and read alound from it. But soon as the teacher saw it, she called the principal and my cousin's mom.
    Well, I'm glad the teacher put a stop to that right away!

    How utterly ridiculous.
  7. by   teeituptom
    But he might offend someone
  8. by   nekhismom
    oh no, not the religious debate again. Not on this thread.
  9. by   kirbybunny
    Thanks for the laugh! :chuckle I especially like the one about the ealry bird. No early rising over here! It's sad when the basset hound is up before you!! Everyone have a great week!

    ~ Jen
  10. by   Brian

    14. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

    Sleep... what's that?
  11. by   teeituptom
    stress is when its my day off and I dont get to play golf
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    I Happy you're enjoying it.

    And Brian,

    In the hands of time, so are the days of a nurse. What's sleep? What language is that? What does it mean? :chuckle

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