A Dieter's Prayer

  1. [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Thought this was cute. Hope you enjoy!:spin:
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A DIETER'S PRAYER[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
    incited by my wicked diet.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
    Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain!
    With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So grant me strength, that I may not fall
    into the clutches of cholesterol.
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]that my soul may be poly unsaturated.
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And show me the light, that I may bear witness
    to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
    And at oleo margarine I'll never mutter,
    for the road to Hell is spread with butter.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
    and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
    Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
    the Devil is in each slice of baloney.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
    and Lucifer is a lollipop.
    Give me this day my daily slice
    Cut it thin and toast it twice.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I beg upon my dimpled knees,
    deliver me from jujube's.
    And when my days of trial are done,
    and my war with malted milk is won.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
    In a shining robe -- size 30 long.
    I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
    the virtues of lettuce and celery.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
    and of pasta a la Milanese...
    and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
    Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Amen!
  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   donsterRN
    This is excellent!