57 Things Every Woman Should Know!

  1. 57 Things Every Woman Should Know !


    LADIES, ARE YOU LISTENING?

    1. That you should RSVP within a week of receiving an invitation.

    2. That your doctor does not have all the answers

    3. That being female is no excuse for not knowing how to get on the Internet or to program a VCR.

    4. Want to look five years younger? Get out of debt.

    5. That your carry-on luggage can be an expensive indulgence, but the luggage you check shouldn't be.

    6. If a jacket doesn't fit right in the shoulder, put it back-no matter what anyone claims they can fix.

    7. The octane level of the gas your car requires, as well at the PSI needed to fill the tires.

    8. You should never serve liver or a stew at a formal dinner party

    9. That is your date often has trouble finding you, you may be wearing too much black.

    10. That massages, vacations and high thread count cotton sheets are necessities masquerading as luxuries.

    11. To keep a pair of sexy high heels in your bottom desk drawer, just in case.

    12. How to dance cheek to cheek

    13. How to keep a secret

    14. That nobody changes all that much. But they, and we, can adjust.

    15. Never to argue in front of anyone else.

    16. How to give a compliment.

    17. How to accept one.

    18. At least one great tailor or dressmaker.

    19. The European equivalents of your sizes.

    20. That you can do laundry and post on Free Republic at the same time.

    21. Never wear plaid to a job interview.

    22. CPR

    23. The names of a dozen different flowers ( Mums don't count) and a florist who will deliver them.

    24. The name- make that the full name of your grocer, dry cleaner, butcher, babysitter, plumber, the maitre d' at your favorite restaurant, and the kid who mows your lawn.

    25. Where you vote.

    26. That workouts aren't over till you've done your sit-ups.

    27. That a belt fits properly when the buckle prong goes through the third hole.

    28. How to play poker

    29. The shape of your face, your best feature, and your worst.

    30. That your undergarments should never be smaller that your briefest bathing suit.

    31. That you should get your hair cut one week before a big day.

    32. That you never shop a clearance sale or a discount mall with the attitude " Hey, for $20........" Once clothing is in your closet, the price tags are off. What fits best is all that matters.

    33. The only time you are not better off shopping alone is when you are buying eyeglass frames.

    34. That button-down-collar oxfords are even more unsexy than flats worn with a cocktail dress.

    35. If you are crazy about something and can afford it, buy two. You may never see the likes of it again.

    36. If you are indoors ( but not sitting under an open skylight and not during a full eclipse), take off the sunglasses.

    37. That if you can smell your own perfume, you're killing everyone else.

    38. Breaking in shoes in an old and probably barefoot, wives tale. Shoes should feel comfortable before you hand over that credit card.

    39. Solid black is NOT as safe an option as you think. ( Miss Clinton, calling Miss Hillary Clinton)

    40 That you don't buy clothes for the weight that you hope to become.

    41. That jewelry on the beach is very attractive.....primarily to sharks.

    42. Don't fold only sweaters. Fold knit and jersey dresses as well. The wrinkles will steam out in a few minutes.

    43. That food is an inappropriate gift to bring to the host of a dinner party. Unless asked, don't even bring dessert. Show up with candy, a book, or something cute but inedible- anything that doesn't belong on the dining table.

    44. You should leave the house for a big event- well, maybe ever- without looking in a three sided mirror.

    45. That adding sugar can take the saltiness out of a sauce.

    46. How to tie a bow tie on a man ( he should know, but he won't)

    47. That you should never buy a swimsuit at the last minute.

    48. That you are not required to open wine that is brought to your home as a gift that evening- especially if your menu is planned.

    49. Even women have to polish their shoes

    50.That ice cream can salvage almost any dessert.

    51. That talking on a cell phone in a restaurant is as rude as applying makeup at the table.

    52. That putting makeup on at the table is as alluring as a man's applying deodorant across from you ( Bathrooms are called powder rooms for a reason)

    53. And that asking someone what they do for a living as soon as your meet them is ruder than all of the above.

    54. That if you didn't wear it last year, you probably won't this year. SO find a tax-deductable thrift store that picks up at your house.

    55. Contrary to some cocktail- party wisdom, food eaten while standing does have calories.

    56. That your father understands you better than you think.

    57. That if you dress well, people will think you have a personal life.


    Number 37 is my personal favorite....
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   hapeewendy
    46. How to tie a bow tie on a man ( he should know, but he won't)


    yeah Like I'd EVER be seen with a guy who wears bow ties on a regular basis....... reminds me of that DORK on CNN.........

    and
    56. That your father understands you better than you think.


    uhhhh I'm pretty sure he doesnt, considering I think he still believes that I'm 19 years old

    but agree with most of the rest , and a hearty high five on the perfume one , I work with someone that bathes in perfume, and not even the good stuff, its the stuff that you would get from a dispenser in the womens washroom , you know , Shanel #45, or
    CK3 or some other knock off of a real brand..
  4. by   deespoohbear
    The one about not buying a bathing suit at the last minute is also a good one....
  5. by   Nurse2BMandy
    54. That if you didn't wear it last year, you probably won't this year. SO find a tax-deductable thrift store that picks up at your house.

    This one is my favourite.
  6. by   nurs4kids
    #33 cracks me up..

    ever try to decide on frames when you can't see 2 feet infront of you w/o your glasses on? Frames just don't look the same OVER or UNDER your old glasses...

    yes, i've tried.
  7. by   nessa1982
    8. You should never serve liver or a stew at a formal dinner party

    or bring the most discusting dish you make to a potluck, why do people do that!
  8. by   psychonurse
    #40 is one of my favorites....and yes I do that quite often myself. I am always going to be 20# lighter in time for a special event.....
  9. by   RNonsense
    55. Contrary to some cocktail- party wisdom, food eaten while standing does have calories.

    Damn...

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