Guiseppe reminded me of this with his eggnog story!:chuckle
1.CLEVER This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe.You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.At this stage you are always right.And,of course,the person you are talking to is very wrong.This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.
2.ATTRACTIVE This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the bar,and that everyone fancies you.You can go up to a perfect stanger,knowing that they fancy you,and really want to talk to you.Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER so you can talk to this person about every subject under the sun.
3.RICH This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room.You can buy drinks for the whole bar because you have a bottomless wallet(billfold?)You can also win bets at this stage because of course,you are still CLEVER so,naturally,you will always win. Anyway it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH.You will also buy drinks for everyone you fancy,safe in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present.
4.INVINCIBLE You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone,especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.This is because you are now INVINCIBLE.At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people you fancy,and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength.You have no fear of losing this battle,because as well as being INVINCIBLE,you are CLEVER,you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.
5.INVISIBLE This is the final stage of drunkeness.At this point you can do anything because you are now INVISIBLE.You can dance on the table to impress the people you fancy because the rest of the people cannot see you.You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you.You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs,because no one can see or hear you.And because you are still CLEVER,you know all the words.
Coming soon.... the 5 Stages of Sobering Up
More eggnog anyone?????
Dec 6, '02
HIC..hic...Make mine a double....
Dec 6, '02
Ugh, that was me last night. Prayed to the porcelan god and everything....