WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat.
She asked him if it was dead or alive.
" Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor
his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she
have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
that son of a ***** is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a ***** is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
a ***** is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."