Hello out there fellow BB members! I come to you today with troubles of the worse sort. You see I'm having a slight crisis because I have a very good friend who's in a very dysfunctional reltionship. They've been together for almost seven years, but from what everyone can tell they've had more bad times than good. You see her other half has a problem with honesty and faithfulness. In the seven years that they've been together she knows for a fact that he's cheated on her AT LEAST 4 or 5 times!! That's not the bad part, the bad part is that THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER BY HER CHOICE!!! I recently found out that he's seeing someone again behind her back, but I'm not sure if I should even bother telling her. I've put myself in the middle before and all it's done is caused unwanted stress for me and our friendship. She could witness the acts with her own 2 eyes and probably still love him. So my question to you all is, do I do the good deed and inform her even though it may only result in a 2 day scream fest and then they go back to normal by day 3? Or do I save us all the grief and zip it?
Sep 12, '02
When my first marriage ended due to adultery on my EX's part, and I found out that 'so called friends' of mine knew about his affair before I did, but didn't tell me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings, or they just didn't want to get involved, or they thought I'd find out sooner or later........blah, blah, blah........guess what........they are NO longer any friend of mine.
a TRUE friend would not betray a friendship by NOT telling. I know many disagree with this because I've been in discussions before about it within my own personal circle of friends, and many women did not want to know, so they ended up resenting the friend who told them. Well......I am just the opposite. I will resent a friend for NOT telling me.
As for what you should do.........always follow your heart.....your gut instinct.......KNOWING you could lose her friendship anyway......whether you tell her or not. Because if she finds out you knew and didn't tell her......she may get mad, too. Only you know your friend well enough to make that call. What's more important to you.....saving face.....or making every effort to spare your friend further abuse and humiliation??? I hope you make the right decision based on what is BEST for you friend. :kiss
Last edit by live4today on Sep 12, '02