<sigh> I'm a pain in the rear to my family. *RANT*

  1. Well most of you have heard about my driving situation . . . and yes I am seriously thinking about geting my license, but I do not want to drive on this rural road to my house, it's windy, and there is often fatal accidents on that stretch of road.

    I would much rather wait to get my license until I move into town. My place is about 20 miles away from work. Now whenever I mention I have to work, I always get the lecture about getting my drivers license, and now when I mention that I have a different shift they're all like " Ugh! Now when does that one start, I hope its over before dark, I hope it doesnt snow, why did you say you'd work that shift? Why don't you think of anyone besides yourself?"

    I am not trying to be selfish, I'm trying to make money to get a car and house so that they won't have to deal with me anymore! I have turned down overtimes, and requested for MY schedual so that THEY wouldnt be too overburdened with me. I have lied several times to my employers "I have a very important appointment on that day" On days my parents were going on a trip with their friends that they plan the day before they leave and tell me the night before (usually a day I work) that does not give me enough time call some of my co workers for a shift swap, (yes, I'm one of those who find a replacement for myself when possible, because I know no one else will, and they would be left short on my account).

    My parnets get angry with me when I accept an overtime, because ofcourse they actually LOOK at my scedual and my days that I have off so that they can make "plans" (t.v. watching, going over to a friends).

    I refuse to risk my life, with my inexpirianced driving, on that road. Maybe if i got in a serious wreck, they would change their minds. I have seen alot of fatalities on that road, including a very close friend of mine! i don't want to die, I want to make something of myself. I cant be an RN if I'm dead because my parents made me feel so bad about having to take me to work all the time, and I get my license and roll my car over an embankment! I'm sorry, but I feel this is just wrong!

    I'm just ranting! and for the record, I am not being selfish by posting this, I'm trying to get possible sollutions. BTW quitting my job is not an option!

    Thanks for hearing me whine!
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  2. 175 Comments

  3. by   DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE
    Ok Im lost here and I guess so far out of the loop that I cant understand why as a college graduate that you dont have your license to drive?????
    I honestly cant think of a soul over the age of 16 that doesnt have one. Maybe Im from an area that everyone has one because its a necessity. Please explain that for me.
    Zoe
  4. by   canoehead
    I think a slower speed would make the trip much safer. The more you drive the more confident you will feel.
  5. by   tattooednursie
    I'm only 17 and in highschool
    I havnt went through nursing school yet. I'm a CNA
  6. by   DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE
    Ok then being on 17 it seems that your family should understand that it is thier responsibilty to provide certain things for you and a ride to work doesnt seem like such a bad problem to be honest I would be proud to state "Im taking my daughter to work" Instead of Im picking my child up from jail. However I do think you need to start doing things a tad more independently like getting yourself a car, and the more you drive it the more proficant you will become in the driving of the car. That way your parents can regain some of thier independence as well.
    I had no idea you were so young I thought that you were in nursing school, or even a graduate . Forgive my presumptions.
    If you have a job then you also have the means and the money to pay for the car.
    Zoe
  7. by   hapeewendy
    I swear that we have all been there, to varying degrees but still
    the parent-child dynamic is never more stressful than between the ages of 13-18 in my experience anyway....
    I dont think I did much of anything wrong as a teenager but sometimes the way my mom reacted to me you would think I was an axe murderer or something!
    and to be fair I remember being p'od at her for stupid little things too...things will get better
    we still butt heads but its a lot more civil now haha
  8. by   Mkue
    Mandi,

    Go for it. Get the best driving training, be a safe driver and watch out for the other guy. Try to avoid those roads with high traffic.

    We live by some dangerous rural roads too, my oldest who is now in college drove to high school prob. 5 mi trip and avoided the dangerous roads, he has never had an accident and is a Soph in college.

    When your roads are icy or treacherous, ask for a ride then, otherwise if the roads are clear you can drive yourself. It does take time to get used to driving on ice and snow, depending on where you live, practice, practice driving on ice in an empty parking lot.

    Let us know what you decide.

    Marie
    Last edit by mkue on Dec 29, '02
  9. by   emily_mom
    Getting your license is just the first step in growing up and becoming independent. I suggest getting your license now before you even consider buying your own vehicle. You need experience...in life and on the road.
  10. by   Love-A-Nurse
    mandi, i can relate to the fear of having a wreck because i had one in 1996 and had been driving since i was much younger than your age now, 17. it took me weeks before i could drive again, but i did.

    i posted this to say, no matter how experience a driver is, it does not keep things from happening.

    you can only drive as safe as you can and watch the other drivers to hopefully anticipate their moves.




    edited to say, it does not necessarily keep things (accidents) from happening.
    Last edit by Love-A-Nurse on Dec 29, '02
  11. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by FutureRN_Mandi
    I refuse to risk my life, with my inexpirianced driving
    You're never gonna get experience if you don't do it Mandi. You will not wake up one day comfortable with driving if you've never done it.

    I'm not sure why you posted this same quandry again, you're just gonna get the same responses as you did the last time. Time to start venturing away from the nest little bird......

    Heather
  12. by   cindyln
    My parnets get angry with me when I accept an overtime, because ofcourse they actually LOOK at my scedual and my days that I have off so that they can make "plans" (t.v. watching, going over to a friends).
    I really don't blame them.It sounds like they are planning their life around your schedule and then you change it. Do the best thing and get the drivers license. It will be better for all and make you more self sufficient.
  13. by   plumrn
    Get a learners permit first. Drive with your parents or other family in the car with you, until you get more comfortable. Let them drive when the streets are iced, until you have had more experience behind the wheel.

    By the way, I am very impressed with a girl your age, working such an important job and being so responsible. Many your age would not even think about getting someone to fill in for them, or even think about doing overtime. That shows character.
  14. by   adrienurse
    Yeah I've been there. I wouldn't go back to being 17 if I was paid. I did, however wait till that age before I got my licence, and I did live in the country and was at the mercy of my parent's schedule in order to get around and to work my summer jobs. That sucked.

    Mandi, I'm probably just gonna tell you things that you don't want to hear (I'm past the age when I can think like a 17 year old). Yes it is your parents job to provide you with what you need (within reason), they allowed you to take the job as a CNA and it's up to them to make that work. It is your job, Mandi to meet them half-way. That includes trying to get your licence as soon as you can. That may sound like a lot of pressure, but it is something you can handle. Driving gets easier with practice, and practice is required to become a safe driver. Even the most difficult roads are manageable as long as you are a cautious driver and precautions are taken. I personally learned to drive on winter roads, but that's me (I always need the challenge LOL).

    It's good that you are striving to be as independent as you can. I personally moved out before I turned 18 so that I could go to university (but then I was as hard headed then as I am now -- I like being on my own). Just don't push yourself to hard. It's not good to do things like move out before you are ready and for the wrong reasons. You want your first move out on your own to work out right? Then wait till you are ready.

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