~Funny Observations~

  1. Got these in an email today and thought they were cute

    Funny Observations:

    1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
    own pants.

    2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said

    4. I don't do drugs anymore. I get the same effect just standing up

    5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea.."

    6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

    7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a

    8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get

    10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's.

    11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
    you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

    13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
    days I've stayed alive.

    14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
    for Miss America?

    15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
    section in a swimming pool?

    16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

    17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

    18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
    "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    If they can take 300 calories out of a can of coke to make diet coke, why can't they take that last one out too?
  4. by   FutureRN~Pookie
    Um, ok, Rusty, I don't get that...unless you mean Pepsi..then I get it

    BTW, Mandy, these are hilarious!!