Rape and how we see Rape

  1. 4
    Almost a year ago, a freshman state representative in Wisconsin named Roger Rivard (a Republican, if you can bring yourself to believe it), told the Chetek Alert newspaper something that raised a not insignificant number of eyebrows across the state. In discussing the case of 17-year-old high school senior charged with sexual assault for having sex with an underage girl, Rivard related a little piece of wisdom his dear father imparted to him: "some girls rape easy."I just read this bit of fluff and it got me to thinking about how we throw this word rape around so easily. It is used pro and con about abortions. It is used to describe how land and the enviroment in general is being abused.

    Many of us have intimate knowledge of rape, either our own, or a friend, relative, or co-worker. Reading this quote actually made me ill. I realize what he was attempting to impart to his son. I also realize the message he did give to his son.

    It is this message that seems to me to be at the heart of much of the legislation being offered by some legislators. "Women cannot be trusted." "Men know better than women and know what is real rape." Such ignorance must be addressed directly.

    Rape is not about sex. All of us know this. It uses sex as a weapon. We all know this.

    How can we go forward when our legislators will not accept this?
    What did you learn about rape? Who did you learn it from? How has it impacted your life?
    OCNRN63, sharpeimom, Davey Do, and 1 other like this.

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  3. 48 Comments...

  4. 8
    I will violate TOS if I do not use the filter from my brain to fingers typing.
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    To me, rape is the most heinous crime of all. It is a violation of her body.
    Ant "man" who violates a woman should never have the opportunity of getting near a woman again.
    FranEMTnurse, OCNRN63, Davey Do, and 3 others like this.
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    Thank you for your comments. I do hope we get maor participation in this topic. The word rape is thrown around a great deal and there are so many wrong statements being made about rape.

    A couple of months ago we had the "legitimate rape comments in terms of possible prenancies. One of our VP candidates was trying to identify "forcible rape".

    Rape is not limited to women as the recent trial of Jerry Sandusky points out.

    Poi, if you are able to write within TOS I hope you do. I know you have important things to say and there are people who would benefit by your input. I also know this is a terrible topic. Do what feels right.
    sharpeimom, Davey Do, and herring_RN like this.
  7. 5
    As a teen and young adult I would have died rather than be raped.
    Once I was foolish enough to go to the apartment of a young man I met in a bookstore. He was the author of a book of poetry. His picture was on the back cover. he asked me if I'd read it and I told hom, "No.'
    He said he lived nearby and if i follow him he would give me a copy and autograph it.
    At his place he asked me to remove my blouse. I refused and he showed me a kitchen knife in his hand. I yanked the knife from his hand by the blade. He got nervous, went to the door, and opened it saying, "You must be a *** **** virgin."
    I ran to my friends apartment. I was bleeding but the cut wasn't deep.
    I know he would have had to kill me before i would be raped.

    At age 19 I was walking from the gym to my Grandmas place. It was a dark winter evening about 6:00 pm. i was wearing tights with a leotard over them, a shirt, and jacket.
    I heard foot steps behind me. Suddenly a man put his hand over my mouth and pulled me into an ally. he was trying to pull my clothing down but couldn't with the leotard over the ballet tights. He dropped me backwards on the asphalt
    hitting the back of my head pretty hard. He grabbed my jacket lifting and then dropping me. Then I screamed and wet my pants. He ran away. He didn't rob me.
    I went back to the street and flagged down a police car. They asked me, "Was he Black?" I told them I never saw his face and asked for a ride home. I agreed to file a report. They told me a report would do no good. They refused to drive me to my Grandma's place.
    Grandma knew something was wrong, but it was years before I told her what happened. I should have.

    After I married and had children I rethought my earlier conviction. I knew I wanted to live to raise my kids. I would fight and try to get away but not to the point of losing my life.
    I thought that if raped and pregnant i would have the baby. I still don't know whether my husband and i would have raised a rapists child or given him or her up for adoption.
    We were God parents for our son's best friend. If anything had happened to his mother we would have raised him. She is a friend to this day.
    My parents had the same agreement with close friends of theirs. They died together in a car wreck and their daughter has been my sister since she was two.
    But I don't know how we would have felt about a rapists child. I'm glad we never had to make that choice.

    I still run the other way if I hear foot steps behind me.
    Last edit by herring_RN on Oct 12, '12 : Reason: multiple typos
    GrnTea, GHGoonette, Davey Do, and 2 others like this.
  8. 3
    Quote from aknottedyarn
    "some girls rape easy."
    Yeah. His statement is akin to saying something like "Some Girls Defile and Murder easy". What a Putz.

    Thanks for sharing AKY, Poi, Michael, and Herring.
    OCNRN63, herring_RN, and aknottedyarn like this.
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    I have cared for victims of various crimes in the past, and nothing destroys the soul of a person like rape. It needs to be taken seriously and not diminished by idiots.
    GrnTea, OCNRN63, Davey Do, and 3 others like this.
  10. 2
    Moraga School District: Child sex abuse victim was 'careless and negligent' - Inside Bay Area
    MORAGA -- Kristen Cunnane was "careless and negligent" and contributed to her ongoing sexual abuse at the hands of a middle school teacher, the Moraga School District claimed in its first legal response to the UC Berkeley swim coach's lawsuit against the school district and three former administrators.
    The district and three other defendants claim Cunnane "was herself responsible for the acts and damages of which she claims," in the Oct. 24 legal filing.

    I understand the legalize of this. I still cannot accept that any attorney would use such a defense when the child was 12-13 and reported it repeatedly. An honest look is needed and it seems very prejudical to claim such a thing about a child.
    GrnTea and OCNRN63 like this.
  11. 2
    AKY, your last post illustrates the quandary rape victims find themselves in; to report and be raped again by a system that either disbelieves, or makes of her the guilty party, or stay quiet and crawl into a corner to lick her wounds. How many studies have been done to determine the ratio of rapes committed to those reported? It's estimated here that less than 50% of all rape cases are reported to the police, and in the case of child molestation, the figure is even lower.
    OCNRN63 and aknottedyarn like this.
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    When our leaders discuss rape with ignorance it does not help the people who have been raped. It is a topic that needs much more education and openess rather than to hide it and allow those who want to revictimize people to get away with it.

    Many do not even recognize they are revictimizing because they have incorrect info.
    OCNRN63 and herring_RN like this.

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