Helping the 5 year old with homework...

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    Does anyone have tutors help their kids with school work? My son is in Kindergarten and needs help after school doing the little homework assignments and keeping up with what the class is learning. Anything besides reading to him and I go nuts when he does not get it. It makes for a bad scene. He already is low to motivate to work on writing etc in class. If he could have his way all he would do is play (I don't blame him). I don't think I am helping getting uptight when he tries and says can't do his letters.

    I am a single mom and think I need someone to help. Would it be crazy to send him to a tutor or a Kumon (early education learning center)? I feel bad not being able to do it myself but I suck at it. I don't want to make him hate school and me because I am pushing him too hard. I feel like I should remove myself until I learn how not to push so hard. I feel guilty as heck not working with him in the meantime.
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    Hmmmm how about hiring an older child to tutor him? K is not so intense that an older kid could NOT help out...and would probably like the opportunity to earn some "pocket money".....
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    Please, please get someone else to help your child. The child will not learn anything if you are getting upset, and he is getting upset. I know cos my son was the same way. My husband recorded us one night doing homework and I was so ashamed of myself, I promised to never help again, and didn't unless he asked. I got a tutor, worth every penny!!
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    Quote from Tootyx121
    Does anyone have tutors help their kids with school work? My son is in Kindergarten and needs help after school doing the little homework assignments and keeping up with what the class is learning. Anything besides reading to him and I go nuts when he does not get it. It makes for a bad scene. He already is low to motivate to work on writing etc in class. If he could have his way all he would do is play (I don't blame him). I don't think I am helping getting uptight when he tries and says can't do his letters.

    I am a single mom and think I need someone to help. Would it be crazy to send him to a tutor or a Kumon (early education learning center)? I feel bad not being able to do it myself but I suck at it. I don't want to make him hate school and me because I am pushing him too hard. I feel like I should remove myself until I learn how not to push so hard. I feel guilty as heck not working with him in the meantime.
    This little fellow has written homework in kindergarten? Something's wrong here.

    Five year olds are supposed to be able to play well together, sit still long enough to listen to a story and retain enough to answer some simple questions afterward. They are supposed to be able to tie their shoes, toilet themselves (and go all day without an "accident"), stand in line, follow simple directions.

    Your little guy is already hard to motivate? That sure says a lot.

    Talk with the counselor at the school. Yours may not be the only little fellow with these problems.

    Sometimes the problem isn't the kid. A lot of time, the problem is the kid's inability to measure up to an impossible situation.

    Five is way too young to be depressed because he's not making the mark in school.

    Assume your child is OK, advocate for him with the teacher, the principal, whoever you have to. You will make his life so much better--and he deserves that.

    Good luck. (Oh, did I mention anywhere that I am a licensed psychotherapist, with lots of experience with children and adolescents--in and out of institutions, and have taught parenting and violence prevention? Not bragging, just hoping you will take what I say seriously. And don't forget to hug that boy and tell him he's great!)
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    i so agree with chris.
    at 5 yo he should be fine tuning his socialization skills....
    for any 5 yo to feel pressure in kindegarten is unconscionable.

    there is something very wrong with this picture and this young man needs an advocate.

    leslie
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    You've already got great advice here. I agree with what Chris said. A 5 year old shouldn't have to worry about being stressed out from school work. 5 year olds are smart and yeah they can learn to read and write at that young age, but that doesn't mean they have to be given homework every night.

    What kind of homework exactly does he have every night? You mentioned writing and letters .... I just think all that stuff should be done in the classroom. Kindergarten is the first year of school for a lot of kids, they should be having fun! Otherwise they are just going to have negative views towards school, and they definitely shouldn't have negative views towards Kindergarten because they have a long ways to go from here!
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    Unfortunately in the rush to make sure our high school seniors graduate knowing how to read the bureaucrats have decided to start in Kindergarten. And yes, we now have a more structured Kindergarten where kids have to meet certain criteria-we were discussing this a couple of nights ago at dinner. I can't remember the exact criteria but it ain't the old Kindergarten.

    Boys especially are prone to developing maturity a bit more slowly which is why I didn't start my boys (or my daughter actually) in Kindergarten until they were almost 6. Pre-K and pre-school are the new Kindergarten.

    There is no reason a child has to have homework that stresses them and their parents out at 5.

    Chris gave some great advice. The problem is the bigwigs in education.

    steph
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    I remember with one of the little girls I babysat throughout high school, she was reading in Kindergarten and it just shocked me! But I thought it was great, they are able to learn to read that early, nothing wrong with it. BUT, getting them all stressed out with homework every night? That just doesn't seem right. Why can't they do it during classroom time?
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    There isn't anything wrong with a child learning to read in Kindergarten. All the play prep that Kindergarten used to be was prep for that. Learning ABC's, singing songs, dancing, playing with numbering toys, etc., . ..

    But here in California, there are certain things a child needs to do that seems more appropriate for 1st grade. I still firmly believe that Kindergarten needs to be mostly learning from playing.

    Kindergarten is loaded up with so much more complicated stuff that kids don't get the fundamentals on which to build the more complicated stuff that should naturally flow later.

    steph
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    Quote from stevielynn
    I still firmly believe that Kindergarten needs to be mostly learning from playing.
    Yes, I think so too. That's how I remember Kindergarten! We started learning to read and write in first grade. I wonder why the big push now? It just seems like it's going to make these kids all frustrated and sets for a bad taste in their mouth, they're gonna hate going to school at such a young age.


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