Unsolicited Opinions

  1. 1
    I'd like to discuss Opinions which are not: asked for, wanted, or respected. I'm sure we've all experienced someone giving their Narrow-Minded and Pompous Opinion on a subject which fits the Aforementioned Criteria.

    There are different methods to handle Unsolicited Opinions: We can: ignore them, accept them graciously, or have some Sort of Retort which is generally percieved as being Negative.

    Of course the word "negative" is relative. Negative Situations can result in Positive Outcomes. For example, Joseph Campbell said something like, "The consciousness is changed through trials, tribulations, and the subsequent illuminating revelations." In other words, we can gain a New Perspective on life by benefitting from our pain. Sometimes our Discomfort motivates us to seek a Higher level of Understanding through processing those Painful Experiences.

    Carl Yung also had something to say about gaining something from our pain. He said something like, "Embrace your pain, for there your soul will grow."

    So, in essence, just because an Individual responds negatively to a statement that is made, doesn't mean that Individual doesn't have our Best Interests at Heart. The Negative Response may just act as a Catalyst to a Positve Outcome.

    Sarcasm and Sardicism are two examples of relatively Negative Responses we can reply to Unsolicited Opinions.

    Please allow me to give my perspective on the definitions of these examples:

    Sarcasm is a sharp ironical reply with the Intention of Belittling a statement. Did you notice I used the word "statement" and not "Individual" in the belittling process? Sarcasm, in my belief, is not intended to shoot the Messenger, only the Message. Now Sardonism uses Sarcasm with the intention to shoot the Messenger. Sardonism is intended to hurt. We don't want to harm the Individual. We want that Individual to be Intact, with all their Faculties, ready and willing to Grow.

    Probably the first Sacastic Response I remember hearing to an Unsolicited Opinion was made by my friend Brad back in the days when payphone calls cost a dime. He would ask, "Hey- do you have a dime?" The Unsolicited Opinionator would respond, "Sure!" Then Brad would retort, "Good! Then go call Someone Who Cares."

    In retospect, Brad's Technique may have been a little more Sardonic than Sarcastic. I don't know What do You think? (Solicited Opinion)

    Peter Sellers played the character "Wang" in the movie "Murder By Death". When #2 Son gave an Unsolicited Opinion, Wang retorted, "Opinion is like television on wedding night- not necessary!" In my Opinion, whether it be Solicited or Unsolicited, Wang was teaching his Son boundaries in the Father/Son relationship. If Wang wanted #2 Son's Opinion, he'd ask for it.

    We've all heard the Old Retort, "Opinions are like anal sphincters- everybody's got one." To that I add that Unsolicted Opinions are like another part of the alimentary canal: the appendix- Virtually Useless.

    What sort of Sarcastic Retorts do you, or would you if you could, use to reply to Unsolicited Opinions?
    LPNweezy likes this.

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  2. 27 Comments...

  3. 4
    With me my retort can be quite simple "thanks for your opinion". Sometimes it's sincere, others it's probably sarcastic depending on whether I agree/like their opinion, but usually it's said with neutrality.

    But as you say, one has to look at the intent of the opininator...is it just to hear themselves talk, are they open-minded to my opinion, are they trying to help me or criticize me....and if it's criticism is it warranted? All this happens in a matter of seconds sometimes. My knee jerk reaction is usually one of hurt and offense, then feeling bad about myself, but sometimes I can take pause and grow.

    I'm relatively opinionated and I think I'm pretty good at taking what I dish out.

    Most of the time people don't take the time to listen and integrate the opinions of others.

    Here's my unsolicited opinion about your post and you take it or leave it, knowing my intent isn't to be hurtful: you capitalize to many words throughout when it's not necessary and it's distracting which may cause readers to lose the meaning of what you're writing. (Just as my many typos and errors do.)
    Last edit by Tweety on Jan 25, '11
  4. 2
    "What sort of Sarcastic Retorts do you, or would you if you could, use to reply to Unsolicited Opinions?"

    -Mind your own business, nosey.
    -Oh. Is that right?!
    -Shows how little you know?!
    -Oh gee, thanks for the info, but nobody asked you.
    -Go find somebody who cares.
    -Great, I'll get right on it (not)
    -Don't you have something you're supposed to be doing?!
    -Here (load of work), it's all yours since you've got all the answers.

    Davey Do and Tweety like this.
  5. 7
    My son's girlfriend told me this evening that while at work today, someone she sees 5 days a week asked her if she was pregnant.

    She said "No, I'm just fat". And went on with her day.

    She isn't fat. She is gorgeous but one of those curvy women who knocks your socks off.

    Now she is feeling badly about it - the lady who said it is just a sweet lady and probably meant nothing mean.

    As I've gotten older, I feel the same way. I just shrug and go on my merry way. I really doubt that people are doing something on purpose to hurt another person. Most of the time, we ALL stick our feet in our mouth.

    But you know sometimes the "unsoliticited opinion" may hold some truth and we should listen.

    steph
    LPNweezy, sharpeimom, dudette10, and 4 others like this.
  6. 2
    First, Tweety, thanks for Your Response.

    Secondly, Trying to find "the intent of the opinionator" is a difficult, yet insightful, attempt to discern a motivation- it is truly an Endeavor of Empathy; an intellectual exertion in identification with, or vicarious experiencing of feelings, thought, or attitudes of another. This action, in My Opinion, is an Indication of a Higher Conscious. As Charles Du Bois said, "The important thing is this: to be able at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

    And lastly, thank you for the feedback on my Writing Style. I truly am sorry if My Style is "not necessary...and distracting". That is not My Intent. I am emulating A.A. Milne in his Winnie-the-Pooh books. It seemed that The Author formalized references as though those references needed to be treated with deference. I don't take this sort of tact in Formal Letters or the like. Usually when I'm playing with Thoughts, Ideas, or Some Such.

    Thanks again.

    Dave
    Bella'sMyBaby and Tweety like this.
  7. 0
    -Mind your own business, nosey.
    -Oh. Is that right?!
    -Shows how little you know?!
    -Oh gee, thanks for the info, but nobody asked you.
    -Go find somebody who cares.
    -Great, I'll get right on it (not)
    -Don't you have something you're supposed to be doing?!
    -Here (load of work), it's all yours since you've got all the answers.


    Ew! And ouch! Good ones.

    Now, how do you deal with the Ramifications of Your Retorts? Do you have some Good Rebounds? Those I would like to hear!

    Thanks, onaclearday.

    Dave
  8. 0
    Quote from Spidey's mom
    As I've gotten older, I feel the same way. I just shrug and go on my merry way. I really doubt that people are doing something on purpose to hurt another person. Most of the time, we ALL stick our feet in our mouth.

    But you know sometimes the "unsoliticited opinion" may hold some truth and we should listen.

    steph
    Oh steph. In reading Your Post, I thought, "You are One of Few: A Positive Realist." Most Realists are Pessimists.

    Yes, I have eaten Toe Jam many times. On bread, with an Entree of Crow, followed by a Dessert of Humble Pie.

    I agree that Enlightenment is everywhere. It's just that Some give out advice when they really just need to clean up their own backyards. I guess a sarcastic comeback to Those Types could be, "The next time I want to be like you, I'll call you." Ew! Ouch!

    Thanks, steph.

    Dave
  9. 1
    Quote from Davey Do
    Ew! And ouch! Good ones.

    Now, how do you deal with the Ramifications of Your Retorts? Do you have some Good Rebounds? Those I would like to hear!

    Thanks, onaclearday.

    Dave

    Dave,

    Usually, if someone is insulted (shall we say) at my rebuff, my personal P&P manual instructs me to give them another one from the list.

    Example:

    Busybody nurse: That's not the right way to wipe a person's butt I do it all with just one 2x2.
    Me: Oh gee, thanks for the info, but nobody asked you.
    Busybody nurse: My skills are better than yours!!!
    Me: Here (300 lb bariatric postop with loose stool's tail-end), it's all yours since you've got all the answers.
    Davey Do likes this.
  10. 1
    Oh and Dave, Do you know of times where someone gets a little personal, and their intent is to just try and make some observation of you into a huge issue? Usually it's inappropriate obviously, and it has to do with the person's attempts to fabricate some weakness about you. You've got to take that one down hard and fast.

    Notyourfriendnurse: I don't think you could handle that type of job (Notyourfriendnurse wants it). You look so overwhelmed all the time (overused remark) I can see how just this job would probably be too much for you. Don't you have to take care of your kids too? I mean, really, I think they want someone who can give their all, like me, Notyourfriendnurse.

    Me: Oh my ...(said with low voice and great levity ), I think, Notyourfriendnurse, that you've got a lot on your own plate that needs your attention for you to be so focused on me. I think we ALL know this don't we.
    Davey Do likes this.
  11. 10
    When all else fails, I rely on my favorite response...."Bite me!".
    BrisbaneRN20, joanna73, GM2RN, and 7 others like this.


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