World Turned upside down

  1. Hello, I'm a LPN student and I have only 8 months left of my program. My live-in BF of 8 years has decided to break up with me and I'm almost done with school. ������

    He says all I ever do is study and all I care about is nursing school. He still wants me to cook and cater to him. And he never congratulated me on passing any of my semesters. I asked him how come he can't just have my back until I graduated instead of watching me struggle to pay him my half of the bills. He looked me in my face and said, "I didn't tell you to go to nursing school!"

    Now I have no place to live comfortably, my friends and family say I can crash on their sofas when I need a place to sleep sleep and bathe.

    Any advice??
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  2. 24 Comments

  3. by   Hygiene Queen
    You don't need this person in your life. He did you a favor. He's short-sighted, selfish and sounds like a jerk.

    Move on. Keep yourself focused on your studies. Utilize a counselor. Pat yourself on the back that you can move on and support yourself. You don't need him.

    Best wishes in your studies and that you may find a partner who will be just that-- a partner. Not a dead weight allowing you to do all the work and then whine about it.

    Have been there and done that.
    Last edit by Hygiene Queen on May 2 : Reason: added something
  4. by   Miiki
    He's being a jerk. He would probably never be happy with you accomplishing anything. There's no way he's that shortsighted that he doesn't realize that your life together would be more financially stable once you graduate in such a short amount of time. He just doesn't want you to do it. He wants to be the man, the provider, your savior. He needs to be needed. He won't be happy if you're doing anything but stroking his... ego.

    Just take it as a lesson learned. Crash wherever you need to get through with school and move on with life. You'll be ok without him, uncomfortable for 8 months, but ok. You can find someone who wants to be with you because you want to be with him, not because you need to be with him.
  5. by   caliotter3
    My advice is to learn to paddle your own canoe now while you are young. I know a mother of two who found herself in the street in the middle of nursing school. She swallowed her pride and went to the school's director who pulled strings to get her and her children into a homeless shelter. She was working full time. It can be done.
  6. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Am I the only person that started singing Fresh Prince of Bel Air in their head to the title??

    Anyway. lol OP;

    Count this as a blessing. Sounds like he knows you're about to become a lot more independent and not dependent on him. You're almost done with school, you don't let ANYTHING get in the way of that. Nothing. Focus on that and now this dude. People have offered you a place to crash, take advantage of that. You're about to venture into a new chapter in your life and it sounds like this person should be left in the past.
  7. by   NightNerd
    Wow, I am so sorry! That is such a slap in the face after eight years together.

    It hurts now, for sure, but your life will be so much the better for this change. You now have the mental and emotional freedom to fully pursue your career; and soon you'll know the satisfaction of tackling this challenge independently. And, bonus, when the time is right, you'll be ready to have a partner who is proud of your accomplishments and will support and encourage you in your ambitions.

    Do not let this guy's insecurities interfere with your life anymore. You deserve so much better, especially with the hard work and dedication you have shown in your life. Chin up, and know that we're here for you.
  8. by   crazin01
    I could be way off here, but his actions/statements remind me of my Ex-fiancee of 6 years.

    It seems sort of odd, that he stuck it out with you thus far and now, when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, he suddenly wants out.
    Him suddenly wanting you gone makes me wonder if there's somebody else. He needs you gone, so he may cater to the new relationship and needs that to happen ASAP.

    The fact he doesn't seem to care about your education & subsequent nursing career makes one wonder how strong the relationship is/was; It seems he wasn't the best significant other (putting it nicely) & eventually, the relationship will fizzle out. Better to know now than later.

    Out of curiosity, whose name is on the lease/deed for house
    Best wishes & Sorry for all this drama happening at a hectic time.
  9. by   Purple_roses
    You are going to nursing school and you are going to be a nurse. And do you know what all of this effort will buy you? Financial independence. Once you become a nurse, you won't be struggling like you are now. Once you become a nurse, you won't need to rely on boyfriends or girlfriends to help you survive. You'll be able to do that all on your own.

    So if there is ever anybody that attempts to thwart your scholastic success, my advice is to kick that person to the curb.

    You're going to struggle right now, but it won't be forever. You're 8 months away--you can do it! Take your friends up on the offer. Do what you have to do. Just keep that guy out of the picture and keep working on school.
  10. by   Purple_roses
    Quote from ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Am I the only person that started singing Fresh Prince of Bel Air in their head to the title??

    Anyway. lol OP;

    Count this as a blessing. Sounds like he knows you're about to become a lot more independent and not dependent on him. You're almost done with school, you don't let ANYTHING get in the way of that. Nothing. Focus on that and now this dude. People have offered you a place to crash, take advantage of that. You're about to venture into a new chapter in your life and it sounds like this person should be left in the past.
    I started singing Hamilton!
  11. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    I immediately think of songs with like 85% of the sentences I hear a day. LOL I was hoping I was not alone.

    OP I would be willing to bet a virtual beer that he will be wanting you back again when he sees how you being a nurse can benefit him.

    My ex-husband was NOT ok with me going back to school. He wanted me to be a stay at home mom. When he saw he couldn't stop me he knew he was the financial provider and used that saying he would not help at all nor would he help with the kids or childcare. So I got student loans and proceeded. So when he saw finances wouldn't stop me he then tried to dictate what field of nursing I would go into. He wanted me in peds or baby, somewhere with not a lot of males. He forbid ER which is where I wanted to be the most. So when he saw he was losing the battle he didn't think things were gonna work anymore and tried to sabotage the last semester of nursing school. By that time I was taking care of 4 kids. 3 older sons and a toddler daughter. I had spent a couple years doing pre reqs. We had moved to another state where I had to sit on a wait list for 3 years, finally got my number called and was in the program. I had been working on this for 7 years.

    Get to the first week of my last semester and my brother dies. My ex-husband was TERRIBLE and then tried to seize the opportunity to have me drop out to deal with his death. All it did was give me motivation to how close to my freedom I was. When he finally saw nothing was going to work and I was going to graduate and then I passed my boards and landed a job within a week of graduating he saw he lost the battle. So all of a sudden he wanted to be a nice supportive husband and realized how good my income would be with his. Within 6 months of graduating I was FREE and a year after graduating my divorce was final. Never have I looked back.

    I don't know your man. But I do know that from the little bit you described it doesn't seem like he values you at all and that's just not worth your time nor your energy. You have way too much good coming your way and as they say "aint nobody got time for that"
  12. by   Zyprexa
    You're better off without him.
  13. by   Luckyyou
    The most important lesson I've learned in life is to never, ever rely on a man. For anything. Not personal validation, not emotional support, not financial stability. I'm sorry you've learned this lesson too, but now you get to go forward and be a badass on your own. You got this.
  14. by   OlivetheRN
    He sounds like a giant, selfish, self-serving jerk. I've dated a lot of people who haven't been able to understand the demands of my job and the stress of my job. The whole "you only work 3 days a week" thing has been thrown in my face so many times by guys that I've lost count. At the end of the day, OP, you will be so much stronger and better off without his dead weight to drag around. I know it sucks right now, but you got this. As a PP suggested, maybe reach out to the school if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, in the grand scheme of things when you look back 8 months will be the blink of an eye and before you know it you'll be working as a nurse.

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