Signs He Might Be Married
You have been exclusively dating the man of your dreams for almost a year. On the surface, he seems to be the whole package. On the other hand, something about the relationship feels totally amiss. Here are six clues he might be a married man.
Imagine for a moment that you've met the man of your dreams. He appears to be the whole package: tall, dark, handsome, ambitious, smart, successful, sweet to you, positive attitude, fun, great sense of humor, chivalrous, and anything else you can insert. He has swept you off your feet like a hurricane and seems like a dream come true.
However, something just doesn't seem right after nearly a year of exclusively dating this guy. Every important person in your life knows about him and has been introduced to him, but you've only met his best friend. And there are times when you cannot reach him for several days in a row. Unfortunately, the man of your dreams might be married. Be on the lookout for the following clues.
1. He makes purchases with cash.
Although your man might be a middle income earner or high-earning professional, he never pays for the dinners, gas, gifts, or overnight rendezvous with his ATM card, credit cards or personal checks. In fact, he always keeps a large wad of cash in his wallet and uses this money to fund his good times with you. He may have a wife at home who views the statements from the bank and credit card companies. Using cash is his way of hiding you from his wife's awareness, because she might become suspicious if she sees 'Victoria's Secret' on last month's credit card statement.
2. He is difficult to reach on weekends and major holidays.
All of your dates take place on weekday evenings for some bizarre reason. You hardly ever see him on the weekend. If your man is almost impossible to reach on weekends and holidays, it's possible he's spending this time with his wife and children. You attempt to call or text on Saturday evening, but the phone always goes straight to voice mail. He doesn't return your call until early Monday morning, which leads me directly into clue number three...
3. He talks freely during work hours or while in transit.
If your guy works a typical Monday through Friday 9:00am to 5:00pm job, he should be able to freely call and text you during the evening and late hours, right? However, things will be totally opposite for the married man. He calls and texts while in transit or during work hours, but goes missing in action once he's arrived home. It's possible he has a wife or live-in girlfriend at home.
4. You have not met any of his family members or friends.
Something's not right if, after a year or more or serious involvement, your boyfriend has not introduced you to friends or relatives. Sure, his closest friend has met you, but the close buddy knows about your man's cheating ways and would never spill the beans to his wife.
5. He always comes to your house, but you've never been to his place.
Again, something is totally amiss if you have not been to your boyfriend's house after having dated him for a stretch of time. He always spends time at your place, but has never invited you to his home. If you have never been to your man's house, he may have a wife or girlfriend with whom he lives.
6. He has a tan line or mark on his left ring finger.
This clue should be obvious. If he has a tan line on his left ring finger, he might very well be the husband or fiance of some other woman.Last edit by Joe V on Jan 24, '17
About TheCommuter, BSN, RN Moderator
TheCommuter is a moderator of allnurses.com and has varied experiences upon which to draw for articles. She was an LPN/LVN for more than four years prior to becoming a registered nurse.
Joined: Feb '05; Posts: 38,034; Likes: 69,279
CRRN, now a case management RN; from US
Specialty: 11 year(s) of experience in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psychDec 22, '13To Commuter - very real & truthful article; items #4 & 5 are the dead give-a-ways.
I have to say this, I needed to keep checking for your name. Very atypical article from what I've seen for my year or so of AN membership. But I did like this article.
Now for the rules to play the Game for the 'Other Woman' ...Dec 23, '13Jeez, Thanks, Commuter!
Me and all the Other Guys who Shun Credit Cards, like to spend Time Alone on Crowded Mainstream Holidays and Weekends, can't get Cell Reception at Home, don't have any Family or Friends, Live in a Hovel, and have a Congenitally White Band of Pigmentation on our Left Ring Finger really want to show our Appreciation for making our Girlfriends Paranoid!
Sheesh!Dec 23, '13Quote from Smiley007Better to learn the lesson late than never.OMG! Where was this article when I was in college?
A man approached me last year, and at the time, I didn't know he was married. He originally told me he was a single father of three kids. We went on a couple of dinner dates before I suspected he was married based on some of the aforementioned clues. When I asked him straight up if he was married, he was flabbergasted and admitted he had a wife at home.Dec 23, '13I was always careful to avoid married men, but despite the best of intentions, I went out with a good looking, smart, funny, successful,
man five times. For our fourth date, I made dinner and the next time we went to his apartment, ordered a pizza and watched a movie on his VCR.
For our sixth date, we met his brother and his girlfriend for dinner, then were going to see a play, but he made a major goof. He forgot to take his wedding ring off before he picked me up. I noticed it over dinner and took a taxi home. The apartment he'd entertained me in had been a friend's. What a jerk!
He used credit cards, I met his brother, but the whole experience made me feel like a fool.Dec 24, '13Okay. I will admit that my Last Post was Done in Fun. Even though the Majority of the Information is True-to-Life. Except the Congenitally White Band of Pigmentation around my Ring Finger Thing.
Reading over you Ladies' Posts set met to thinking. First, this is a Worthy Topic to Explore and Commuter has done a God Job presenting it. Second, sharing some of your Stories made the Topic a Bit Personal. I thank Sharpeimom and Commuter for their Candidness. Third, I too, have been Duked by a Married Member of the Opposite Sex in my Dating Days. However, the Relationships were Relatively Superficial and had Virtually no Emotional Impact upon me. (Fact is: One of them was a Nurse I had met at my Buddy's Wedding Reception when I was 21 years old. She was the Wife of a Cousin of the Bride. That's how I found out the Woman was Married: Through my Buddy's New Bride!)
Another Point I'd like to add to this Discussion is the Subjectively Empirically Proven Fact that SOME Single Woman are attracted to Married Men. I've heard Women Openly Admit that they don't want a Committed Relationship with a Man and they go after Married Men.
I've heard Other Positive Reasons for being Involved with Married like: Less Chance of an acquiring an STD, Less Chance of Being Dominated because of Something to Hold Over the Man's Head, and the Like. However, it is Believed that SOME Women like the Excitement and Drama of "Doing Something Bad". The Forbidden Apple Thing- They could always Get Caught, which adds to the Excitement of the Mutually-Attracted Relationship.
There's always Two Sides of a Coin and it does Take All Kinds.
Ya know?Jan 29, '14I'm married, and long past any inclination to date even if I were single.
I'm surprised nobody mentioned the internet. I'd do a cursory search on any man I felt like dating.
I always say you can find or learn anything you want online.Jan 24, '176. He has a tan line or mark on his left ring finger.Mar 22"Me and all the Other Guys who Shun Credit Cards, like to spend Time Alone on Crowded Mainstream Holidays and Weekends, can't get Cell Reception at Home, don't have any Family or Friends, Live in a Hovel, and have a Congenitally White Band of Pigmentation on our Left Ring Finger really want to show our Appreciation for making our Girlfriends Paranoid! "
I had to chuckle when I read this (copied and pasted from above.) Many people don't use credit cards any more due to the hefty fees. That snake bites!
The rest I won't comment on. But I sure enjoyed reading!