<---i think i work with the OP, HA HA...i do know this guy i think, a few times over.
It does show, that he sees himself as very highly sought after or wished for, we can detect that he sees himself that way.
just kidding. teasing aside though,
to the OP,
you mention your marriage is not great,
this is something you might want to focus on. Who knows, she might be eying some other rooster,
and thinking, "Wow, i feel so so happy when i am with So&so, HE really makes me feel like i matter!"
or "wow, it's way more fun flirting with Otherdude, than it is doing laundry and balancing the checkbook with hubby..this must mean i should be with Otherdude.."
there is more than one rooster out there,
and sometimes, you don't know what you have
til you lose it.
No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect 24/7, either. Cutie-coworker who giggles at all your jokes and makes you feel all manned up,
might be a real nightmare to live with.
If this is a commitment you take seriously,
no time like now to get help, put your energy into fixing it. Maybe some of the charm or energy you put into your female coworkers, might be much appreciated and very effective if you try those efforts at home.
YOu could consider couple therapy, or sit the two of you down, repeatedly,
and map out your own plans together to heal the relationship,
set up weekly date night,
take some trips together, just you two,
have discussions to discover what it is the other person needs, read books on relationships together, (get 2 copies) discussing it together as you go along, whether you both laff about it, or consider or try the ideas in the books,
keep trying stuff,
might take several tries to get going in better direction.
Do new and different kinda thrilling things together, try new stuff out together.
Prioritize each other for now, make pleasing each other goal #1 each day, to get back where you used to be.
Do what you can to jump start your own sex life at home. The biggest sex organ you have is between your ears. Put it to work.
even if your efforts fail,
even if your marriage does disintegrate, at least, you can know you tried CPR on it. An honorable person won't lie. If you do find yourself deciding to go for sex with someone else,
be a man,
break off with your wife first,
get your own place,
or discuss with her that you two are now BOTH in open relationship. Cheating is just so sleazy, if it's not a mutually agreed upon deal. You might end up paying a price for that thrill of forbidden sex, in reducing your ability to see your own self as good and honorable person.<---this might be more important than you might think, imo.
and dawg help the hen that ever does take you on,
in some point in the future, she can have her very own cheating man at home...
oh, and remember, about one out of every 3 or 4 hens nowadays has an STD of one kind or another, AND you are probably way too old to be explaining whoopsie pregnancies to care for and pay for, for next coupla decades, too, so be sensible. Also, this can backfire professionally,
you might be surprised, if this affair does happen,
and then ends sourly,
how much that might mess things up
GOOD LUCK in your decisions.