Juggling Boyfriend and Nursing

  1. I will be starting a 2 year program for nursing this fall. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we currently have a very strong relationship. He has been there for me through a lot of rough times. He will be going off to a small college that is 2.5 hours away. He will also be on the soccer team there. I have my own means of transportation so I know that I can visit him. I've always been great in school. I aced my pre-reqs and co-reqs for nursing without a problem (classes like anatomy, human development, microbiology, etc.) I am wondering how much time I will have to see him? I won't be working during school either. I have been worried all summer about this. He has been with me through so much and he is my best friend. Please let me know how I can make this work & how much time I will have. Thank you.
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  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   Flatline
    LOL. College boyfriends are slightly better than high school boyfriends. You both are still growing as people, maybe you will grow together and maybe you will grow apart. None of that has anything to do with school, it has to do with both of you as growing adults.

    Your free time is entirely dependent upon your personal abilities to study, retain information, and take tests. I personally did not have to study much outside of the classroom, I would do the assignments and read the chapters but that was about it. Others struggled spending 16-18 hours a day studying.

    Whatever you do...WHAT EVER YOU DO...do not throw away your education or career to get laid and babies do not make couples grow closer.
  4. by   Madeleinemyers
    I really appreciate this, thank you.
  5. by   RNperdiem
    Let life unfold and see how things go. There are too many factors at work to make any decisions now about how much free time you will have.
    Time is limited and only you can decide how you will want to spend it. Trying to spend all of your free time with your boyfriend means not spending time on other things.
    Maybe you will need to spend some of that time building and maintaining a circle of friends. Perhaps a hobby or extracurricular interest will need some time; this is a great time to learn something new.
    Just don't be the one doing all the heavy lifting and sacrificing to try to make a long distance relationship work.
  6. by   Madeleinemyers
    Thank you.
  7. by   JKL33
    I believe the time factor will work itself out if you both desire that and plan accordingly.

    I agree with those who are essentially saying not to sabotage your education and career by worrying about this or slighting your school responsibilities in this situation. But I also believe that if you do indeed have a strong relationship and are mutually committed to it, it deserves continued attention. People can make mistakes on both "sides" of the education/relationship equation, and it IS possible one could find oneself at a place in life (with regard to career and relationships with loved ones) where you suddenly realize which one of those two entities actually cares anything about you in return. Don't throw away a good educational opportunity OR a genuinely good relationship.
  8. by   Madeleinemyers
    Thank you so much.
  9. by   raindrops1234
    I started dating my current boyfriend in my second year of nursing. Summer before third year he moved three provinces over for a job promotion(I am in Canada). Because I was also working two part-time jobs and in school full-time we got to see each other every six-eight weeks (I think longest was almost three months). It is stressful, but definitely do-able! PLEASE prioritize school before him! You are investing a lot of money into your education, time spent studying, and working towards YOUR career. If it's meant to be then things will be fine. 2.5 hours is not that far away. And honestly, I found that him being away gave me that much more time to spend studying (and you will have even more if you aren't working).

    Plus, things will work out for the best! My boyfriend got another job promotion two months ago, and I was able to move across the country with him this time to start my career.

    Good luck to you!
  10. by   caliotter3
    I have observed a relative who has all the time in the world for their "relationship", but can't spend half an hour doing their homework. Is it any wonder that they are not succeeding in school? You have to decide for yourself what you consider to be important. You can have both if you employ good time management, but you may end up with neither if you don't. You are in charge of your time.
  11. by   amok
    It will probably be hard enough to keep up general friendships with people who are still in town, nevermind a semi-long distance relationship. Realistically, it's not just balancing boyfriend and school. It's adding the 2.5-hour-away boyfriend variable to what is already a balance with school plus family and friends. If you're missing out on time with family or friends but seem to be able to make time for the boyfriend, there might be some social backlash. Nurses and students pull off things that seem impossible though, best of luck.
    Last edit by amok on Jun 21 : Reason: Typo.
  12. by   quazar
    The cranky old lady part of me is screaming at you to 1) get off my lawn and 2) stop worrying about any sort of relationship where there isn't some sort of contract involved, then is calling you a darned kid and chasing you with my walking stick. The former young college girl in me who dated my husband while I was in nursing school is patting that cranky old lady side and reminding her that she was young once too and telling her to chill out and settle down.

    So....given that, I will tell you that you won't have a lot of time, period. HOWEVER, you have the luxury of living in the age where technology is king, and things like long distance fees and having to use a special code to call long distance from your dorm room phone are things of the past. While you might not get a lot of in person time with your significant other, you still can do things like email, IM, text, and of course face time. My husband went to college in another state, 6 hours and 2 states away from me. We managed through phone calls and the very primitive version of email back then (this was over 20 years ago, so picture dinosaurs and sending smoke signals...), and about once every 2 months one of us would make the trip to visit in person for a weekend. It was hard, and I missed him like crazy, but we both had our heads on straight and knew what we wanted (each other) and therefore could focus on our studies just fine. When we did finally get married, it was weird to have him there all the time after being separate for so long.

    I do strongly agree with one poster who said that do not, under ANY circumstances, give up your education or any sort of job opportunity in the name of a romantic pursuit. I can personally attest to having made that grave error with the gentleman I dated before my husband, and I definitely regret that choice. However, every mistake teaches us a valuable life lesson, blah blah blah, I'm the person I am today because of my journey, etc. etc.. At any rate, don't do that. Best of luck to you. You'll be fine.
  13. by   maggieellis
    I know this is not what you're asking, and that you just want to know that you will still have this very important person in your life while you both pursue your educations. But I want to be absolutely, 100% frank with you, without going into detail: I've always valued my relationships over everything, and it ruined my life. YOU and your education and your independence are the most important things in your life, not just now, but forever. If the relationship succeeds while you're apart, that's wonderful--but if it begins to get stressful and hard, whatever you do, put yourself and your education first. You can visit, you can call and text and Skype, and many, many relationships do just fine long distance. But please: even the best, sweetest, loveliest relationship can go sour at some point, and you need to be in a strong and independent place. Your classes need to come first, because YOU need to come first.

    good luck xoxo
  14. by   Ben_Dover
    Dear Madeleine Myers,

    I can assure you that you will be married to your classmates and reading materials...unless you prioritize your relationship over your future career.
    It is a great investment for "it" just being a 2 year program. So devote your time "to" studying.
    Knock on wood, if there comes a time, where he tells you that you pay more attention to your nursing program over him and gets to a point where he starts seeing someone, all I can tell you is, let him go. My personal and professional opinion, you'll have more to lose if you let the nursing program falter!

    You have been warned! Choose wisely!

    Lovingly yours,
    Ben Dover

    P.s. AllNurses should have a Dear Abby section

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