Quote from wish_me_luck
We (meaning him, my family and I) have been down this road before. He has done this before--dated like 6 months or so and popped the question to the girl he was seeing at the time. She said yes because she wanted to go to Disneyworld. He took her as an engagement gift for both of them. Once the trip was over and it was time to plan a wedding (they take many months to plan), she dumped him and told him that she didn't love him and never loved him. He was lucky that he got the ring back and it was within a time frame for returning, so he returned it. He got his money back (most of it anyway).
Now he is doing the same thing. Once is a mistake, twice you've got a problem. I have tried talking to him and he tells me "WML, get a boyfriend." He thinks I am jealous. I don't have time for a significant other right now. I want a career, a successful career. Then, after that, I can find someone and date a couple years and then, if I really love them, we can get married.
I don't want to jump into anything. I want a best friend in any significant other I have, then a a lover.
I want the best for my brother and I wish that he would realize that. I am not jealous (I get quite a few offers for dating/going out and turn them down. Just not ready for that in my life.)
Oh, i so agree with your ideas, completely. It's a shame your brother interprets your very valid, very very sensible, and very caring concern as "jealousy". NOthing your wrote here smacked of that, at all. Your ideas make total sense.
well, it sounds like you are trying, i so hear you on this,
and would feel same concern your do about this. Your brother is not especially unique in this "oh, i've known her a month and want to get married" kinda thing, there's a lot of that going on out there......
they will slow down as they begin to calculate up costs, etc.
...who knows, maybe HER family will also be horrified to see 2 ppl who just met recently rushing off to get married...and maybe they can help her slow it down...guess we can hope for that, anyway.
don't know what else you can try, but, good luck. Maybe look around for an ally he respects that he won't suspect is "jealous"
or wonder if there is some pre-marital classes or counseling to help couples who are rushing in tooo fast, get ideas to consider....? like the idea "Waiting to at least get to KNOW someone prior to signing a legal contract with them, is good idea."