I'm dating a nurse, I'm looking for opinions on dating outside the profession?

  1. I'm currently in a serious long term relationship with a nurse and have recently been having a few insecurities. I'm working as an insurance claims handler so sometimes feel like I'm not able to have the same in depth conversations she can have with her colleagues for example. I'm always there to listen to her when she needs me and I would do anything for her - but just wish I could understand what she goes through at work a bit more. I'm having insecurities that she will eventually get frustrated and wish she does have a partner who she can talk to about these things.
    So my question is, what is your opinion on dating outside the healthcare profession and how do you make it work? Thanks !
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   quiltynurse56
    Well, first thing you need to realize is that whatever your jobs are, you will never understand the other's job. Since you you don't work the other's job, you will never totally understand it.

    So, find things you both enjoy and enjoy talking about. Let her talk with her nurse friends when she needs to. I am sure you talk with your insurance friends about things when you need to do so.

    Dating is dating, no matter what the other's careers are.

    I am married to a Pastor. We are both in careers that involve confidentiality. So, we talk about and do things that we are both interested in doing together. That is how you cope with dating no matter what.
  4. by   NightNerd
    Trust me, as much as my nursing friendships mean to me, I am glad to talk to my significant other about anything BUT nursing. It helps to have a good listening ear, which it sounds like you provide her with, but she is dating you because you appeal to ALL of her, not just the nurse part. As long as you have some interests and values in common, it seems to me that you have nothing to feel insecure about.
  5. by   LadyFree28
    My fiancée has NOTHING to do with healthcare; he works in IT.

    Sometimes he thinks I should be under the guise of a "compassionate angel of mercy," when he is sick but most of the time he knows what I do and will listen when I vent; and vice versa when he vents about his career.

    We have mutual interests and hobbies that we do that take us away from our respective careers; and sometimes silence, sitting or laying together closely can be just as soothing as anything else.
  6. by   nursel56
    I don't really understand why nursing would be a different case than any two people working in different fields.

    Also, I don't know about the others, but I don't have deep discussions with coworkers.

    Therefore, as you say you are willing to lend an ear when necessary, and seem reluctant to pressure her to tell all when she gets home from work, you're behaving in an appropriate way already.

    All the best!
  7. by   EllaBella1
    My fiancé works in the technology field. I actually LIKE that he doesn't 100% know what I'm talking about when I discuss work. Nursing is a great profession, but it can be exhausting mentally. I love that I can vent to my nurse friends in-depth about stuff that happens at work, but I also like that I can tell my fiancé that I had a rough day without having to recap it in depth for continuity of the story's sake.
  8. by   Libby1987
    One thing that would get my back up is my SO minimizing anything I'd tell him by responding with some form of "but you're a nurse, that's what you do". As if we just get used to death or shouldn't be by shocked by anything.

    Oh another, be tough enough to listen to descriptions when she needs to debrief and get past something in order to join the civilian race and enjoy a date. If she can get do it live and under pressure, at least be able to hear about it now and then without getting squeamish.
  9. by   Farawyn
    "No offense, I don't want to hear about your job." is what I get. So, I had my co-workers. Now I have the SN board.
    Kudos on you for trying, OP.
  10. by   sirI
    Thread moved to Dating/Relationships.
  11. by   BCgradnurse
    My SO works in business. I am so glad he is not in health care. I need a break from nursing and want to talk about other things when we're together. It's enough for me to vent to my co-workers and people here. I don't want to do "all nursing, all the time". Don't worry about your relationship.
  12. by   StNeotser
    Keywi, sometimes I come home and have a five minute vent or monologue about something bad that happened at work. I know my partner doesn't "get it" but he listens.

    He once said "I know you're only going to go on for five minutes and then get in the shower."

    So I think it's important that you just listen to be honest with you.

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