I am fed up with my life, marriage and everything:( - page 2

Hello. How are you? I don't know what do to anymore with my marriage. I have been married for 3 years. We never really had a sex life. Had sex one or twice every six months or so. I don't know how will i ever have a kid. I am... Read More

  1. 3
    People down play the importance of a healthy sexual relationship. A marriage without sex is a dead marriage.

    Talk to your husband.......did you have sex more frequently when you were dating?

    My best advice is to see a therapist that specializes in sexual dysfunction.

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  2. 0
    Quote from lifein08
    Hello. How are you? I don't know what do to anymore with my marriage. I have been married for 3 years. We never really had a sex life. Had sex one or twice every six months or so. I don't know how will i ever have a kid. I am thirty three years old now.

    My husband is never happy with how i keep the house, how i don't keep things clean and organized. It's been going on since we got married. and we fight most of the time. And he gives me the silent treatment 70 percent of the time. and i found out he was talking and hanging out with some girl behind my back couple of months ago. He said it will not happen again.

    I don't know what to do. People are always saying how come you are not pregnant yet. lol how funny? I would love to get a divorce and start over. But I don't have any support system. I am scared to be alone. I might end up alone all my life. I don't know what to do? and at my job I am struggling because there is so much to learn and I am lost most of the time.

    I don't know what to do or how to do it. Please advice..Is life suppose to be like this?? Is marriage..always this hard?? Help
    You seem very frustrated and unhappy with your marriage, which is translating to frustration and unhappiness in your life. I agree with the previous members, do not have a child in this situation. Having a child will just amplify the situation. A wise man once said, if something is not broke, don't fix it. I think the opposite applies as well, if something is broke, either fix or replace it.
  3. 5
    You say you don't want to be alone, but it sounds like you already are. Your huband isn't providing you with emotionsl support or nurturing. Bear that in mind as you ponder difficult choices. Remember, too, that you'll never find the right man if you stay with the wrong one. Good luck.
    sharpeimom, Poi Dog, juzme, and 2 others like this.
  4. 0
    I am right around your age too, except my marriage troubles came out of NOWHERE (to my perception), my wife of 10 years, and a relationship of 13 years is coming to an ending so she can throw her life away on partying with one of her dead beat friends, and be promiscuious, it is ripping my soul apart daily.

    I moved out into a corp apt, but I can't stop texting from angry rageful messaging, to one's full of love. I gave her everything, and every part of my being. She regurgitated it out. Everyone she is leaving me for will just TAKE from her, and I wanted to give her EVERYTHING!!

    I wish I could have the strength to stop trying to wake her up. I don't even know what I really feel about this whole thing- anger is a SECONDARY emotion to hurt and disappointment.

    I will pray for everyone here, please pray for me. I haven't ate or slept in three days. I try, but I end up in a texting frenzy trying to reach her. I hate this more than anything I ever hated, I HATE this. I made her my life, and done everything to please her. 10 wonderful years with our only hardship being infertility (on her side), and now I am hollowed-out.

    I have no appetite, no desire to sleep with this feeling of "Desperation meets panic meets Rage" I just wish I had something to numb it all, I am so desperate for peace in my soul whatever happens. I don't want to give her a chance to hurt me like this again. I have always been an humble and giving person, right now I want to be a hermit, and not "Feel" anything else. I am just putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to breath with this elephant on my chest.

    That said, I will earnestly have you all in my prayers. I wish I could cure our pain, I wish I had an answer- Would give a kidney. NO ONE DESERVES THIS!!!!!!

    It is a cold dark place devoid of love or care with no light shining through. I will do my best. But right now I am a shell, and I can't even express an idea correctly, Please forgive me. Those of you who know me, You know this isn't normal Boston. Hopefully better days are coming. But, right now, I just am sooooo tired of "feeling."
  5. 1
    If I could tell the world one thing, regardless of how it is taken:

    Love is not JUST a feeling, it is NOT an EMOTION!

    Love is a Verb, and it's not what so many think it should be.

    It is not always FUN, or FULFILLING, it can be HARD WORK, and it can be PAINFUL.

    I have soooooooo much of it to give to someone who REJECTs it and has broke all their promises. I asked for 1 hour tonight, she had promised a friend she would come over, so NO hour for me. SHE PROMISED ME FOREVER!

    I need your prayers. I forsaked everyone for her just like the VOW said, and now I am paying dearly for it. But, I am bankrupting fast on "feelings" and hope numbness will soon fill me up!

    I will pray on my knees every night for everyone sharing in my hurt of abandonment, ones feeling betrayed, wounded, and lost. If you feel lonely, or if you feel any of the horror I do, YOU are in my prayers.

    Sending out
    Purple_Scrubs likes this.
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    Boston, well I agree this is not the usual Boston post. I am so sorry to read this. Many years ago i went through a bad divorce. I can't even imagine a good one. Not really the point here. I see your pain so clearly. I suspect there are lots of things going on in her head. Things you cannot ever really understand, and perhaps she can't either. In reality it is not important. The important thing is that in spite of your pain, your anger, and your angst you still need to put one foot in front of the other. Go see the EAP at your place of employment. There is help out there. Use it.

    You know you cannot control anyone's behavior. It is making you sick, sick at heart, and if not now, it will cause physical things. Lack of nutrition, lack of sleep, pumping all that adrenaline with your anger can only lead to illness.

    You can be assured I will put you in my prayers. I will pray that you find acceptance and are able to work through the pain of this terrible loss. Please get help to sort through all of this. That has got to be my first prayer for you, to reach out IRL to others who can assist you.
  7. 5
    Oh Boston I think I smell alcohol on that post. It is so not you. I enjoy your posts and never would have guessed you are in so much pain. Please seek a little help, get a little exercise and know so many here value you and care.
    GrnTea, weemsp, Purple_Scrubs, and 2 others like this.
  8. 1
    Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRN
    I am right around your age too, except my marriage troubles came out of NOWHERE (to my perception), my wife of 10 years, and a relationship of 13 years is coming to an ending so she can throw her life away on partying with one of her dead beat friends, and be promiscuious, it is ripping my soul apart daily.

    I moved out into a corp apt, but I can't stop texting from angry rageful messaging, to one's full of love. I gave her everything, and every part of my being. She regurgitated it out. Everyone she is leaving me for will just TAKE from her, and I wanted to give her EVERYTHING!!

    I wish I could have the strength to stop trying to wake her up. I don't even know what I really feel about this whole thing- anger is a SECONDARY emotion to hurt and disappointment.

    I will pray for everyone here, please pray for me. I haven't ate or slept in three days. I try, but I end up in a texting frenzy trying to reach her. I hate this more than anything I ever hated, I HATE this. I made her my life, and done everything to please her. 10 wonderful years with our only hardship being infertility (on her side), and now I am hollowed-out.

    I have no appetite, no desire to sleep with this feeling of "Desperation meets panic meets Rage" I just wish I had something to numb it all, I am so desperate for peace in my soul whatever happens. I don't want to give her a chance to hurt me like this again. I have always been an humble and giving person, right now I want to be a hermit, and not "Feel" anything else. I am just putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to breath with this elephant on my chest.

    That said, I will earnestly have you all in my prayers. I wish I could cure our pain, I wish I had an answer- Would give a kidney. NO ONE DESERVES THIS!!!!!!

    It is a cold dark place devoid of love or care with no light shining through. I will do my best. But right now I am a shell, and I can't even express an idea correctly, Please forgive me. Those of you who know me, You know this isn't normal Boston. Hopefully better days are coming. But, right now, I just am sooooo tired of "feeling."

    BTLRN,
    I hope you find love and happiness again someday
    mj
    BostonTerrierLoverRN likes this.
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    Thank-you guys from the BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!! (excuse my caps, it's important to me)

    I feel soooooo much better today, I wrote that from 4 days with 4 hours of sleep, no appetite, the death of a young patient, and asking for a week off work to regather, and defragment. My Administrator is being extremely supportive (I don't let anyone know how bad it hurts). You wouldn't know I was crushed if you seen me on shift, and I have just always handled crisis internally, and not communicated it before, (please excuse the whining, immaturity, and emotional dump). It was therapeutic, and for the most part just wanted people to know I cared, and if going through something similar- they are NOT alone.

    For those of you don't know, I am a 4 year sober opioid recovering addict- so you can rest assured, I would never "REALLY" seek any chemical for support- I know that would just make it worse.

    Just like anything else, I will take it day-by-day, one at the time. Your words are worth gold to me, and I will make it through this. I have soooooooooo much left to give, and we were both too young and inexperienced to be married. That said, we had a great 10 years, and were high school sweet hearts. She had never been out of state when we married, and during our time together, we travel nursed, vacationed around the world, and were truly best friends. I don't think either of us felt like "Lovers" for a long time, but we were close, close, close for many years- I never in 10 years spent a night on the couch. I think I lost her 4 years ago at the height of my drug abuse, where I was emotionally and physically absent from her in person for over a year. I tried to make it up to her and failed. I understand it takes "2" to destroy a relationship. I guess too many factors were against us. I would have taken care of her when she was senial, and in a diaper. I know that is over now, and I will go on. I will make it. I am a survivor, and I am not a victim (take full responsibility for my fault), and I will pull this off.

    Also, I still regularly attend AA meetings for the occasional "emotional dump," and will head directly if I catch myself being a "bad dog!"

    You guys, as ALWAYS, are the BEST!!!
    Thanks again for your kind words and thoughts. For you who are still in pain, you are still in every thought, and every prayer. I am so proud I made it through this without reaching for a "Crutch," and that's grace. I will seek help if I start fixating or obsessing again, but I am Sooooooooooooooooooo much better today. Thanks and Good Night Guys!!!!

    Boston
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Apr 27, '12 : Reason: i before e except after c.
    GrnTea, Purple_Scrubs, not.done.yet, and 2 others like this.
  10. 1
    Now day 5, still alive, going to plant a vegitable garden this morning. Starting to get the jitters about being single, and no one telling me what to do for the first time in my life. Like I said, I went from my parent's home directly into Domestication Training. It must have been good, because my first week-end, I am planting a garden, Lol- instead of calling a bunch of single friends to throw down. Well, better get to tilling! Pretty day outside. Good Morning Everyone.
    aknottedyarn likes this.


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