how to handle a cheating wife/RN - page 2

I don't know if this is an appropriate forum for this topic, but only other nurses may know how I feel. I've known my wife, who is an RN, for 24 years...since we were 12. She is my best friend, and... Read More

  1. by   roser13
    I'm sorry for your situation, but I doubt that any of us can provide answers to your complicated issues.

    My best advice would be to hire an attorney who can provide the best guidance for you personally, and for your situation.
  2. by   caroladybelle
    I suspect that you would have to ask the individual facility as handling such issues varies greatly, employer to employer. No one here can really speak as there is no blanket policy.

    I know that you are probably angry but do you really wish to pursue such an action? What do you hope to accomplish by doing such a thing.
  3. by   newrnltc
    Sorry this happened to you. I think there would be clear guidelines against this behavior in the facility's polices and procedures manual along with the appropriate disciplinary actions that would take place. Human resources dept should have this information. There may also be an anonymous number you can call to report this person. Although you may not have proof, the facility can launch an investigation. At our place this is called the "compliance hotline". I imagine patient safety is affected while all these staff members are getting it on like the cast from Greys Anatomy. Good luck.
  4. by   mrsboots87
    Depends on if it can be proved. A scorned spouse can not be the sole source of info for punishment. They could open an investigation but it's hard to say what woul happen. In any case, you will all get dragged through the mud. I am not condoning the actions of them, but consider what you would have to go through a well a them. If found guilty, there would likely be BON involvement which wouldn't be good for either of them.
  5. by   AOx1
    Op, I hope you are able to seek counseling/support to help during this difficult time. Rebuilding trust in yourself and others can be a difficult process. Also, testing for STIs seems wise. An attorney could advise you well on the legal and work-place issues. Before you pursue that inquiry, take time to decide how and if that will help you heal. Take care of yourself with kindness, please.

    i would be inclined to report this only if you know with certainty that the supervisor is coercing or pressuring others to have sex.
  6. by   krisiepoo
    This situation really sucks, but my opinion would be cut your ties and walk away. Don't see what kind of trouble you can get her into just because you're hurt.
  7. by   jadelpn
    This is nothing that can be proved. Because someone is saying that it is happening, doesn't mean it is, unless someone is careless and is making out in front of cameras or something.

    It astounds me that people have time for this foolishness when they have a big patient load, however, remember, unless you see it with your own eyes, you can never assume.

    People say things for a number of different reasons. "well such and so is banging this one nurse in the bathroom" could be a way of telling you that this is behavior that apparently "everyone" has engaged in--so how can you blame her?

    Only you know what is right for you and your family. Re-assess and go forward. Otherwise, nasty gossip about other co-workers which may or may not be factual can only eat away at your character as a professional.
  8. by   not.done.yet
    I would urge you to consider the impact on the kids if you go to war against their mother. You have been wronged in one of the most devastating ways possible. They, however, are innocent.

    please get an attorney and a counselor. Take good care of yourself and your children. Getting through this while protecting them (and you MUST protect them) will require reserves you never knew you had. I am so sorry for your pain.
  9. by   Esme12
    duplicate threads merged as per the TOS
  10. by   nursefrances
    This is so sad. Some thoughts come to mind. I understand where the OP (original poster) is coming from questioning if the guy should be reported at work. I am thinking about other women at work that this guy may be bothering. In this day and age I am surprised to see sexual harassment but it sounds like this might occurring. I would think he should be reported. The problem is if you do this while going through a divorce, your wife may get nasty and try to make you "pay". Divorces can be so ugly especially when kids are involved. A messy situation all the way around.

    Take care, OP. As others have said seek counsel for yourself emotionally and legally. Good luck to you. Best wishes for you and your kids.
  11. by   MrChicagoRN
    Does your employer offer an EAP?

    you need to sit down and talk to a counselor, not a bunch of anonymous internet strangers.

    Good luck to you and your family.
  12. by   Davey Do
    Quote from MrChicagoRN
    you need to sit down and talk to a counselor, not a bunch of anonymous internet strangers.
    With all due respect, duplicityduped, MrChicagoRN has hit the Proverbial Nail on the Head.

    Use a Private Journal as the Catharsis, and seek the services of a Professional who can help you get in touch with, and deal with, your feelings.

    Once your feelings are in the process of being dealt with, your reasoning abilities will improve, so you can make the best decisions for yourself.

    There are a lot of other resources out there to help you, e.g. Support Groups and Self Help Books.

    One such Book which comes to mind is Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss, as it helped me through a time of grief.

    The Best to you, duplicityduped.

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